DEAR HARRIETTE: My boss called me after work hours the other evening; I had been sipping wine for some time, and I was definitely tipsy. I don’t even remember what my boss and I talked about because of my state. I’m worried that I sounded drunk. I also wonder if I agreed to do something for her that I can’t remember. Obviously, I know this is terrible, but how do I fix this? Do I ask my boss to remind me of what she wanted me to do? Do I apologize for being tipsy? Do I say nothing and hope for the best?

My job is important to me, and I don’t want to mess it up. My boss is pretty uptight, and I don’t think she takes kindly to drinking, so I’m really worried about how to handle this. -- Through Sober Eyes

DEAR THROUGH SOBER EYES: Being proactive will show that your intention is to be responsible for yourself. Given that the call was after hours, at least you were not drinking on the job. Legally, you should be on solid ground. But your boss’s view of your behavior may be tainted. I suggest that you speak to her directly. Tell her you were not in the best state of mind when she called the other evening. Admit that you are not sure if you fully addressed the reason for her call, and ask her to remind you.

Beyond that, do your best to manage your drinking so that you don’t get out of control again. If you ever do feel that you have consumed too much alcohol in the future, do yourself a favor and don’t answer the phone until you sober up.

DEAR HARRIETTE: People joke about gaining weight due to COVID-19, but I don’t think it’s funny. I bet I’ve gained more than the “COVID 19.” I was already a little bit overweight, and having to stay home for nearly a year has not been kind to me. Sitting around, not exercising, eating sometimes out of boredom -- you name it, I’ve done it. And now I am paying the price. My clothes don’t fit. I feel bloated, and I am worried that I can’t turn this around. I am ashamed of myself for unravelling this far, but here I am. I am horrified by the idea of seeing people I know when I’m in this state. I feel like such a failure. I need help. -- The COVID 19 (Pounds)

DEAR THE COVID 19 (POUNDS): Thousands of people are walking in the same shoes right now. But don’t worry. You can do something about it. The body is amazingly resilient. You do have to put in the effort, though.

Start by promising yourself that you will make a change in your habits -- eating and movement -- in order to refresh your course. Schedule an in-person physical where your doctor can check your vitals and help you assess what you need to do to get healthier.

Begin to move. You can walk 30 minutes a day or do simple exercises to get your body moving. Here’s a guide to some highly recommended online classes: bit.ly/391Wik5. Evaluate what you eat. Cut down on calories by reducing sugar and other carbs. Drink more water and eat more vegetables. For more ways to cut calories, check out this article: bit.ly/38Zq4pC.

Don’t give up. Track your success. You can do it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I keep waking up in the night with the realization that I do not want to stay married. My husband and I have barely gotten along in years. He seems to have a short fuse all the time. We tiptoe around each other, and our only child is about to go away to college. It feels like things could naturally end after our kid goes to school, but I am scared to death about what to do next. I don’t have enough money to be on my own, and he does not have enough money to take care of both of us if we were to split, not that he would want to or have the duty to do that, anyway. I feel stuck because I can’t afford to go, which is horrible. I work, but I don’t make a lot of money, and I have virtually no savings. Should I just figure out how to stay or pray that there is a way for me to manage if I leave? -- At the End

DEAR AT THE END: Do you think your marriage is worth saving? If there may be a way to rekindle your affection for each other, consider inviting your husband to go to therapy with you. At these pivotal transition points in a marriage, couples often need to figure out ways to recommit.

No matter what, be honest with your husband. Find the courage to talk to him about your concerns. Ask him what he wants for the future. Express whatever is in your heart. If you believe that you should go your separate ways, say as much, and begin the conversation about how that might happen. Facing the unknown can be terrifying, but being honest about your life and the future is essential for your well-being. This is how you will figure out your next steps. No matter what, it will require more than resignation or prayer to gain peace of mind.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who recently lost both of her parents to COVID-19. She is devastated. They were a sweet couple and a tight-knit family. Her parents got sick at around the same time, even though they hardly went out of their house and always wore masks. Who knows why they didn’t survive, but now my friend is frozen. She is so sad. She is an only child. Though she has lots of friends, nobody can seem to console her. This is too much to bear, or so it seems. I want to be there for her. What can I do? -- After the Fall

DEAR AFTER THE FALL: Without being too pushy, stay in touch with your friend. It will take time for her to accept that her parents are gone. The grief right now is overwhelming. She has to process the loss and begin to see herself in the world truly alone -- familywise, that is. From there, she will begin to welcome her friends back into her covenant and recognize the value of that bond. As your friend heals, stay present. Now and again reach out and check to see if she needs anything.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was horrified to learn that a co-worker and her entire family caught COVID-19 even though they wore masks the entire time that movers -- who were also wearing masks -- were moving them into their new home. She says they worked together for eight hours but never took off their masks. She suspects that because there was a lot of heavy breathing due to moving furniture, maybe more droplets got out. Whatever! I really thought that you were safe if you wore a mask. I’m afraid to do anything now, given this new situation. Can you completely protect yourself from this virus? -- Afraid To Breathe

DEAR AFRAID TO BREATHE: I have looked through the research presented by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and other organizations that are making recommendations, and what is clear is that they say that wearing a mask will REDUCE the spread of COVID-19. Nowhere does it say that it will fully prevent the spread. Further, there is now a more contagious variant of the virus, which means that it is easier to catch.

Sadly, we are still in dark days health-wise. And we must remain ever vigilant. I’m sure your friends thought they were doing their best to be safe. Unfortunately, they probably did not stay 6 feet apart given what they were doing. You also didn't mention hand-washing, which is at least as important as masks in preventing the spread.

A reminder: The safety recommendations are to wear a mask; stay 6 feet apart; avoid crowds and poorly ventilated areas; and wash your hands regularly. These will help slow down the spread, but there is no 100% way to prevent catching the disease, and, as yet, there is no cure.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My longtime elderly neighbor’s nephew is a terror to our building. In the past year, he has vandalized multiple apartments, chased neighbors with knives, cursed people out and put fear in all. He has littered my corridor and tried to break down the door multiple times.

I have spoken to my neighbor to ask her to put him out. She is afraid of him and says there’s nothing she can do. We have called the police multiple times, but he always comes back. Recently, my super told me that this woman has asked me not to be mad at her. We have been neighbors for years, and she doesn’t want her nephew to hurt our relationship. Really? I need her to put him out, and I cannot act like everything is OK. Am I wrong? -- Building Conflict

DEAR BUILDING CONFLICT: Tell your super, your building management and this neighbor that you will not stand for this vandal being allowed to live in your building and continue to terrorize you and your neighbors. You should file a formal complaint with the police against the offender and your neighbor, if she is the one who holds the lease. This is not about being friends or friendly. It’s about personal safety.

You should also speak directly to your neighbor, letting her know that you are sorry that this situation is happening, but that it is her responsibility as this man has access to the building because of her. Ask her to do everything she can to remove him permanently.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)