life

New Employee Wants To Quit Job

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | January 27th, 2021 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just started a new job about two months ago, but I hate it. I took it because I was out of work and a friend recommended it to me, but it’s not what I imagined. My work-life balance is completely off. I work overnight; I am working my body in ways that are painful, like it's deteriorating day by day. I feel like I need to get out now to get my life and sense of mind back. But I really don't have a good enough reason to leave this job, and I am scared about what to say to my manager. I have never quit a job before without a plan. When I have resigned in the past, it was because I had a better job, but right now I have nothing. I can't just lie, either. How do I properly leave the job with no reason at all? -- Hate My Job

DEAR HATE MY JOB: I think you should slow down and do nothing for a moment. I’m sorry that you do not like your job. But I want to say that we don’t always love our work or the circumstances that we find ourselves in. Especially now, during this pandemic, it might be wise to reconsider how you look at your job. Can you approach it differently so that you can make it work? It sounds like you have had to make a lot of adjustments, especially regarding time. Two months may not be long enough to establish a rhythm for your body that works. Examine your situation very carefully before giving up. If the time truly doesn’t work, do you think you could request a shift change? Would it be better if you worked during the day? Don’t give up until you consider all the options.

Finally, if you truly cannot stay, make a plan and start looking for a new job. It would be best to walk toward another job than to be unemployed again, if you can manage to stay short-term.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for January 27, 2021

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | January 27th, 2021 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: A young lady I do not know reached out to me, based on a referral from a friend of mine, asking if I would donate to her college fund campaign. I empathize with her, but I can’t afford to contribute to her right now. Honestly, I do not appreciate that my friend made this referral without asking me first. I have been struggling to put food on the table and keep my kids in school. I am a generous person, but I simply cannot afford to fund this girl. I don’t like being put in this awkward position either. I want to tell my friend. Should I? -- Awkward Position

DEAR AWKWARD POSITION: So many people are suffering now and unable to fulfill their dreams, at least at this moment. It doesn’t help when friends to not keep this in mind when they ask for favors. You should speak to your friend and tell them how uncomfortable this makes you. Explain that you wish you could help, but you truly cannot right now. Suggest to your friend that they check in with potential donors before connecting people. This will save everyone unnecessary discomfort and potential rejection.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

life

Engaged Woman Worried Friend Has Crush on Her

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | January 26th, 2021 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend in my circle who recently came out as a lesbian. She told us that she had dated girls in secret in the past but decided to let all of us know because she has a crush she can no longer keep quiet about -- but she’s waiting for the right time to say who it is. A couple of our friends have been asking me how I felt about what she said, and it’s giving me the impression that I am the one she has a crush on. To my knowledge, I am the only one in the dark about what is going on.

I am engaged to a man, and I am so happy with him. My friends are my life, and we have been close since high school; I plan to have them as my bridesmaids. I can't imagine having to turn down one of my close friends and potentially break her heart, but I love my fiance, and my friends all know that. If they are all talking about me and plotting something to get us together, I would be really upset. I could be overthinking all this, but I'm unsure about what’s going on, and I feel like they are doing it all behind my back. How do I handle this? -- Who Does She Love?

DEAR WHO DOES SHE LOVE: Stop wondering and ask. Go directly to your friend. Tell her that you are happy for her coming to know who she is, just as you know who you are. Tell her you feel uncomfortable because you are unsure of where her heart lies. If she professes her love for you, tell her you love her as your friend, but you love your fiance as your life partner. You hope she understands and you fear that this revelation from her may hurt your friendship, but you pray it does not.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for January 26, 2021

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | January 26th, 2021 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work at a company that is pretty mixed politically. I didn’t learn that until the presidential election. Before, I blindly assumed everybody thought like me. And then the debates began internally with people saying things that were rude and dismissive if you didn’t agree with them. It has just gotten worse as the nation seems to be going to hell. It is hard to work when people can’t be civil with one another. What can we do to get back to some semblance of normalcy? -- Business as Usual

DEAR BUSINESS AS USUAL: Our world has turned upside down. People’s views are out in the open, often raw for all to see. On one hand, this may be good, as it is revealing the truth about what people think. On the other hand, decorum seems to have left our society.

Your manager or business owner needs to set the tone. It would be smart for your manager to speak to the company, acknowledge that we are living in difficult and volatile times, and state that everyone at your company is expected to behave respectfully, keeping personal political views to themselves. The manager may need to create guidelines and penalties if staffers refuse to behave professionally. Better still would be to create safe spaces for staff to speak to therapists or health care support if and when they feel emotional about anything.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

life

Chance Encounter With Psychic Leads to Questions

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | January 25th, 2021 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a psychic at the supermarket the other day. We were both in the produce department waiting for the stocker to bring out more vegetables. The pandemic has been causing a lot of shortages in some items, so grocery runs have been difficult. We were able to share a moment together, talking about the challenges we’ve faced. She asked for my birthday and my sign, and she told me all about myself and my past. She knew about my family and my fight to keep my father healthy. I couldn’t believe the connection I felt with her; she felt what I have been feeling this past year.

One thing we talked about that I cannot shake is my love life. I told her about a friend who has been dropping off supplies and calls me all the time, and she said that the love I’ve been looking for is right in front of me -- meaning him. Now, I don’t know this lady. My friends say it's crazy, but I need some advice from someone looking in. Could the psychic be right? Should I ask this guy out and see what happens, or am I crazy to listen to someone who may not even be psychic? -- Psychic Minds

DEAR PSYCHIC MINDS: I must admit that I am skeptical of psychics. I must also admit that I know plenty of people who do believe in them. I myself consulted a psychic once -- and what was said to me was dead-on accurate. My takeaway is that you should evaluate what this woman said to you. Does it make sense? Is there merit in what she pointed out? It sounds like your attentive friend is worthy of your consideration. It can’t hurt to pay attention to him. You don’t need to read anything into the gestures, just be present. Notice how you two interact, and listen to your gut. Does it feel like this man is interested in you, and are you interested in him? Rather than obsessing over the fact that this woman seemed to be in sync with you, consider your next steps. What makes sense to you? Be in the present moment. Keep your eyes open. Go for it if it makes sense.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for January 25, 2021

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | January 25th, 2021 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: People at my office have been doing their best to keep our workplace clean. They are actively spraying down all of the workstations and are monitoring the staff's temperatures when entering the building. They have been doing a great job -- to an extent. I know some co-workers who were sent home with a fever and later tested positive for COVID-19. Management has not sent a memo letting us know that our co-workers tested positive, and they're not letting us stay home while they try to clean the office. They do it only when we are there; when we are not, they just lock up. I personally feel that although they have all intentions to keep the workplace clean, they are not handling this correctly, leaving room for the virus to spread. How can we be safe if we are not notified of exposure and continue to occupy the infected space? - Still Spreading

DEAR STILL SPREADING: It is so hard to stay on top of this virus. Naturally, you are concerned. What you can do is bring your own disinfectant and wipe down your area before you settle in. Be vigilant in wearing your mask and washing your hands.

Also, when you know someone has tested positive, tell your co-workers and ask your management to alert everyone. It is OK for you to keep this top of mind.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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