DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend in my circle who recently came out as a lesbian. She told us that she had dated girls in secret in the past but decided to let all of us know because she has a crush she can no longer keep quiet about -- but she’s waiting for the right time to say who it is. A couple of our friends have been asking me how I felt about what she said, and it’s giving me the impression that I am the one she has a crush on. To my knowledge, I am the only one in the dark about what is going on.
I am engaged to a man, and I am so happy with him. My friends are my life, and we have been close since high school; I plan to have them as my bridesmaids. I can't imagine having to turn down one of my close friends and potentially break her heart, but I love my fiance, and my friends all know that. If they are all talking about me and plotting something to get us together, I would be really upset. I could be overthinking all this, but I'm unsure about what’s going on, and I feel like they are doing it all behind my back. How do I handle this? -- Who Does She Love?
DEAR WHO DOES SHE LOVE: Stop wondering and ask. Go directly to your friend. Tell her that you are happy for her coming to know who she is, just as you know who you are. Tell her you feel uncomfortable because you are unsure of where her heart lies. If she professes her love for you, tell her you love her as your friend, but you love your fiance as your life partner. You hope she understands and you fear that this revelation from her may hurt your friendship, but you pray it does not.