DEAR HARRIETTE: One of the horrible side effects of being in quarantine for nearly a year now is that my husband and I are not getting along. We have always argued about this or that, but things have gotten a lot worse. I feel like I never know what the morning will bring. In the past few weeks, I have noticed that I could say one wrong thing and he will just start yelling at me, seemingly for no reason. I am walking on eggshells, unsure of what to say -- or not say -- to him because I don’t feel like arguing. I am not a passive person; I just want peace. I know my husband will not go to therapy, especially now when he is not leaving the house. What can I do to make things more positive at home? -- Tired of Arguing

DEAR TIRED OF ARGUING: Sadly, quarantine has dramatically and negatively impacted many households. It is hard to be confined to a small space for what seems like an interminable period of time. Added to the quarantine are all of the other stressors that people are dealing with. You didn’t say what your husband’s work situation is, but some people are stressed out because they have lost jobs or their jobs have been diminished. Many are worried about finances and health.

Think about what may be bothering your husband. Through a compassionate perspective, consider what his issues are. Then tell him you want to have a discussion. Be positive, not combative. Tell him that you have noticed that your interactions have been very testy of late, and you are concerned. Ask him if anything specific is bothering him. Listen carefully. If he says he doesn’t know what you are talking about, tell him you would like to give a couple of examples. Share your examples, and tell your husband how his words and tone make you feel.

Tell him that you want to find a way that the two of you can be kinder to each other. Note that this period has been difficult for you, but that you want to find a way to communicate. Ask him if he is willing to try. Be mindful not to place blame. Instead, request that you work together to be more thoughtful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I wake up almost every morning to the smell of weed. I knew my husband smoked -- he has since before we got married -- but it has gotten out of control since we have been stuck at home. I hate waking up to that smell. As it is, just walking down the street in my neighborhood, in a city where marijuana is still illegal, I see people smoking out in the open. It stinks, but that’s outside. I am so tired of smelling it in my house. I have asked my husband not to smoke all the time, but that isn’t working. He just rolls his eyes and gets mad. We live in an apartment, so he has nowhere to go outside to smoke. What should I do? -- No More Weed

DEAR NO MORE WEED: Try talking to your husband about when he smokes. If the morning is what irks you the most, ask him not to smoke first thing in the morning, as it negatively impacts the start to your day. Tell him that if he loves you, he should try to accommodate you -- at least some of the time. You may also want to invest in a device that draws smoke out of the air. Smoke removal devices exist at all price points and may provide relief.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have become dysfunctional, and I don’t know how we can come back from it. We have been married for three years. We were discussing divorce until we found the root of our problem -- my husband wanted to see another woman and still be with me. I couldn’t imagine being without him, so we opened our relationship; we both had outside relationships. I have trouble keeping other relationships going once I tell them about my open marriage with my husband; every time I get serious with someone, they ask me to leave him, and I end up dumping the guy. This open marriage is not working for me. I want to close our marriage, but I’m afraid my husband will not want to. I fear that this is the end of my marriage, and I am not ready. How do I prepare myself for my marriage to end? -- Closing My Marriage

DEAR CLOSING MY MARRIAGE: It’s time for a sit-down with your husband. You have to be upfront and direct with him. You never wanted an open marriage. The only reason you agreed to it in the first place is because you love your husband and wanted to save your marriage. You have now tried it. Remind him that you have met more than one man who wants to be in a monogamous relationship with you, but you would rather be with him. Ask him if he is willing to close your marriage and be totally devoted to you. If he is unwilling, you will have to decide whether you can live with that -- or leave.

DEAR HARRIETTE: What’s the best way to tell someone you don’t like their gifts? My mom spent a fortune on me for a whole new wardrobe for my new job, and I hate everything. It’s not like I’m being picky because they aren’t my typical style that I would choose for myself. No, the clothing she bought is literally inappropriate, like the hot pink suit she bought as a statement piece and others that do not fit me and look ridiculous. I tried modeling all of the clothes for her, hoping that she would see that they are not great after all, but she loved them even more. I feel trapped with these clothes and don’t want my mother wasting her money because I will never wear them. What do I say? -- Wardrobe Malfunction

DEAR WARDROBE MALFUNCTION: As a grown woman, it is time for you to stand up for yourself and manage this aspect of your relationship with your mother. Thank her for being so generous with you, and ask her to stop buying you clothes. Tell her that you appreciate her intent, but you do not like the clothing that she has bought for you -- and more, that it is inappropriate for work attire. Tell her that you do not want her to waste her money on clothing that you will never wear. Be firm. Ask her to stop. If she continues to buy you clothes, do not accept them.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m uncomfortable with how I look. I have vitiligo, which causes my skin to have patches of different shades all over my body. All through high school I was bullied for it, but I’m starting college this semester. I am hoping that college will be a new start for me to embrace how I look and make new friends. With our classes beginning online, I am yet again afraid that people will judge me by what they see on the screen before they get to know me. I don't think I am going to make any friends and no one will like me. All I want to do now is to hide away. How can I get over my fear of not being accepted? -- Bag Over My Head

DEAR BAG OVER MY HEAD: We all want to fit in and be accepted in life, especially when starting a new chapter. Having vitiligo can be tough. Changing your attitude may help you a lot. The good news right now is that our culture is celebrating differences more than ever. There are several fashion models who are regularly featured on billboards and in fashion spreads who have vitiligo -- people who are being celebrated for their differences. One, who is known as Winnie Harlow, has become an activist on behalf of people with vitiligo. Learn more about her here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winnie_Harlow.

I recommend that you choose to embrace your differences and to stand strong and beautiful as the person you are. When you walk with confidence, you create space to attract people who see that confidence and want to get to know you. Ground yourself by connecting to what you think is important. Why are you in college? What do you want to study? What kinds of experiences do you want to have at school? Seek out those subjects, individuals and opportunities. Believe that you will meet people who will be able to see you for who you are.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was just assigned a project with a co-worker, and now we spend basically every workday and day off together crunching to get it done. She is a vegan activist, dedicated to transforming my life, as she says, and to stopping me from being a meat eater. She criticizes everything I eat. She explains how harmful the food that I eat is, and the processes that my foods all go through, and it is completely annoying to me. She is very aggressive anytime I eat something that she doesn’t agree with.

At our last meeting, we argued, and she stormed out. I just want to work without being judged for my lifestyle. Plenty of people eat meat and processed foods in America. I understand her concern, but she is becoming very mean and rude when the topic comes up, and she calls me names. How do I get her to understand that she needs to drop this topic? I fear she never will. -- Meat Eater

DEAR MEAT EATER: You have to stand up to her strongly. Let her know that while you have to work together, her food politics are hers -- not yours. Tell her you are done with her constant lobbying about your food choices. Do your best to tune her out. Put on noise-canceling headphones if you have them. Ignore her.

If that still doesn’t work, report her to your boss. She is bullying you, and that is crossing the line.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)