DEAR HARRIETTE: I began seeing my boss romantically outside of work. After a while, I decided I didn’t feel the same way anymore and I don’t see myself going anywhere with him in the future. So I started canceling our dates and haven’t been answering his texts or calls after work. He has resorted to scheduling us on the same shifts so that we can be together. I try to keep the conversation about work, but he keeps asking about us. I told him there is no us. As long as I’m working there, I don’t think he is going to let go of this relationship. Finding a job right now is hard enough, so I can’t afford to quit. I know I put myself in this situation, but I shouldn’t be stuck, and he isn’t giving me much of an option here. -- Can’t Be Dumped

DEAR CAN’T BE DUMPED: What an awkward situation at a stressful time. The reality, though, is that your boss may be in more of a precarious position than you, depending on the size and infrastructure of your company. It sounds like he is harassing you. That is not acceptable, and it is actually considered a crime. You should go to human resources -- if you have that department -- and report your situation. Be honest. You willingly got involved with your boss, but you no longer want to be romantically tied to him. He is unwilling to let go. You need your job and do well at it, and you want to be comfortable doing it without the pressure of his advances. A human resources executive or top-level manager should be able to support you through this. Their job is to protect the company. If this relationship can potentially hurt the company, you will be protected. You may want to speak to a lawyer before talking to HR, though, to ensure that your rights are top of mind and you do not get scapegoated.

If you work for a small company without HR infrastructure, you are more vulnerable. Get a lawyer who can speak for you to your boss’s boss. The threat of legal action may get him to stand down. You will be left somewhat vulnerable, but it will be hard for them to fire you if you formally lodge a complaint against him. You actually can take him and the company to court if he doesn’t stop.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is a devotee of LinkedIn. Whenever I talk to her, she asks if I have checked out what she has posted on this site. I use Facebook and hardly ever even look at LinkedIn. I get that it is supposed to be good for work, but I am retired. Plus, I should be able to use whatever social media I want. But my friend tries to make me feel bad for not looking at her posts and liking them. I consider her to be just as obnoxious as the people on Facebook who disparage me for not staying on top of their posts. Enough already. I do not want to be attached to any of this. How can I get them to let me be? -- Too Much Social Media

DEAR TOO MUCH SOCIAL MEDIA: You may choose to do whatever you want. If you were active in the working world, I would agree that LinkedIn could be helpful. Since you are not, you have no need to participate in that space -- or any other.

What’s good to know, though, is what your friends and family find important in terms of communication. If you want to stay connected to them, you may want to visit their social media pages occasionally and post some kind of friendly acknowledgment. This will show that you care enough to meet them where they are.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister is pregnant and has cancer. Her doctors said her hormones could speed up the growth of her cancer and the baby may not survive the treatment for the cancer. The father is not in her life, so I’ve been attending all of her appointments, and she’s turning to me for advice. She’s had a lot of trouble with pregnancy and thinks that this is her only chance to have a baby. She is willing to risk her life for the chance to have a baby. She really wants to leave a legacy on this Earth. But that just means me having to give up my sister and take care of her baby when she is gone. I think she should take care of herself firs and try for a baby later in her life when she is healthy. That’s just my opinion; should I tell her what I think, or leave it up to her? -- Save My Sister First

DEAR SAVE MY SISTER FIRST: You need to have an in-depth conversation with your sister about her intentions, her health and the future. First, ask yourself if you can assume responsibility for her child if she dies. If so, you will need to make sure your sister has set up resources to help you. If you do not think you can handle a child, you will need to talk to your sister about adoption.

You have to be specific and real with your sister about the future. If she dies, what happens? What can you handle? Include doctors’ recommendations in your discussion. What are your sister’s chances of survival if she terminates the pregnancy? All tough questions, but all necessary.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently came in contact with my father, his wife and his daughter after not seeing him in more than 20 years. My mother died, and he reached out to me. We have worked through our troubles about my mother keeping him away from me, and we have a chance at a relationship.

His wife and I have clicked pretty quickly. Now that we have a relationship, it’s great, but she has also inserted herself into my life. She sends my dad over to cut my grass or shovel snow, she brings me groceries every week and stays to clean my house. I appreciate it, but I feel like she’s trying to be my mom when I really don’t need that right now. I’m not sure what type of relationship I want, but she’s doing a lot that I have never asked for. I’ve told her she doesn’t need to do anything like this, but she insists. I guess I’m kind of confused about why she wants to. Do you have any idea what this might be about? -- Super Stepmom

DEAR SUPER STEPMOM: Your stepmom probably always wanted to be there to get to know you and support you, but your mother blocked that. She feels that now is her time. If you need a less-intense engagement, talk to her. Tell her how much you appreciate her support, but it is too much. Ask her to take it slow. Figure out what you can accept comfortably, and describe that. Be specific so that she can understand your comfort boundaries. It will take time, but with clarity, you can get to a place that works for everyone.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I purchased my first home last year. As we came into 2020, the pandemic hit, and my wife and I lost our jobs. We were unable to pay our full mortgage. We scraped together enough money doing side jobs to pay some monthly payments, but we are still behind. Now we are going into 2021, and we are exhausted. It feels like we work nonstop trying to hold on to everything we planned for together.

Our holidays were quiet -- just the two of us -- but we have been able to stay safe and healthy despite the pandemic. We are nervous for the new year but hopeful that we will find jobs and avoid going into foreclosure. Do you have advice for an unemployed young couple with a mortgage to pay? Do you think we will ever see things go back to completely normal? -- Failing Mortgage

DEAR FAILING MORTGAGE: I’m so sorry to learn of your challenges. Sadly, millions of Americans are in the same situation. Perhaps this can work to your advantage. Because so many people are unable to pay, banks and other lenders are having to figure out ways to work with families so that the whole market does not collapse. If you haven’t already, develop a relationship with the person handling your mortgage payments. Talk to this person and discuss payment plans. Even if you can’t come up with the full amount, your lender may cut you some slack if you can pay something each month. Ask for help. As long as you stay in close communication with them, you stand a chance of working out a deal that may help you to keep your home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while now, and I think I am in love with him. This is the man I want to spend my life with. This year he got arrested for a break-in with some of his friends. Now he is facing court cases, jail time and lawyer’s fees. He never told me about any of this until he was asking me to bail him out. I want to be there for him, but I feel like he made me believe that he is something he is not. He wants to meet and explain everything. I want to hear him out, and I hope that I am jumping to conclusions and that he made a mistake and is trying to set things right. Should I let him explain himself or just move on? -- Young in Love

DEAR YOUNG IN LOVE: You say you want to spend the rest of your life with this man. At the very least, meet with him and hear him out. Have him explain what happened, what his role was and what else he has not told you about himself. Listen carefully so that you can hear the truth. He asked you to bail him out. If you do that, you deserve to know his history. You have put your resources on the line by posting bail for him.

More, if you think there’s even a chance of building a life with this man, he needs to come clean about who he is, what he wants in life and what he intends to do about his current predicament. Plenty of people have built lives with people who have entanglements with the criminal justice system. You need to figure out who this man is, what his values are and whether you want to commit to him through it all.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)