DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like my adult kids are losing respect for me. When your kids are young, they look up to you for everything and trust in you. My kids are all of college age and older. They are leaving the nest and not looking back. They throw their childhood bad memories at me, saying that I was manipulative and a liar. But as parents, we know what it's like when your kids throw a tantrum, or when they get into trouble as a teenager and just won’t listen. I did what I needed to do to raise smart, strong kids, and I feel like I succeeded. All I want now is to enjoy a mature adult relationship with my kids, but they want nothing to do with me. I feel like I gave my life to them, and now I am hated and alone. Was I a bad mother? -- Miss My Kids

DEAR MISS MY KIDS: I’m so sorry that you are experiencing this break with your adult children. It sounds incredibly painful. To get past it, you may have to create space to let your children speak freely about whatever is bothering them. Clearly something happened that left a negative impression on your children. Whatever your intentions were, at this moment, your parenting style has left your children with a bad taste in their mouths.

Invite them, individually or together, to talk to you. Tell them that you hear them saying that you hurt them, and you want to know more. Promise that you will listen. Do your best to hear what they have to say. Do not make excuses as they talk. Be quiet. If you hear something that sounds legitimately off about your behavior, apologize. When it’s your time to talk, admit that you know you weren’t a perfect mom, but you did your best to give them the tools to succeed. Tell them that you want to cultivate a relationship with them. Ask if you can start fresh. It may take time, but don’t give up.

DEAR HARRIETTE: From time to time, I have these nightmares about my fiance, of something happening to him or of him doing something to break my heart. These dreams are impacting my reality. Either I wake up crying, not wanting to get out of bed, or I wake up in a rage, upset with him over something that didn’t happen. I’m finding it hard to separate what is real and what is a dream. I feel like my subconscious is either trying to tell me that this man isn’t right for me or I just love him too much and too hard. It's got me scared for marriage. How can I deal with these dreams interfering with my reality? -- Deep Sleeper

DEAR DEEP SLEEPER: Talk to your fiance. Tell him about your dreams. Ask if he is nervous at all about getting married. This could just be jitters -- or it could be more. Talk it through. If the dreams do not subside, consider going to a counselor to work through your concerns.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: With so many children doing distance learning, I feel like it’s harder for them to grasp the work without being in school. Technology is taking over the lives of my stepchildren and other family members. Kids should be learning how to make friends, run around and use their imaginations to play games and learn social interactions. Watching them not have the same experiences I had growing up with little technology, I am not sure how they will turn out. Will they be smarter from using technology at an early age, or will they face difficulties connecting to others? How can I teach them without using so much technology while making sure they learn the same morals and values? -- Schooling My Kids

DEAR SCHOOLING MY KIDS: This is one of the great dilemmas facing our world at this moment. Because we are all cut off from each other, at least for the most part, we are having to learn how to engage and live from a distance. In order for education to continue, many students are having to rely on technology. This will not last forever. For now, do your best to talk to your children and spend time face-to-face with them. Encourage them to use video technology to be able to interact with fellow classmates and friends. At least in that way they can see one another. When safe, allow them to have interactions with one or two friends while still socially distancing.

Beyond this crisis, yes, technology has already become a fact of life for many young people. You must continue to teach your family values. Just apply them to the type of interactions your children are participating in today: using respectful language when communicating, especially in writing; refraining from gossip, especially on social media; choosing to be positive; and looking out for each other. Basic morals apply in ALL situations. Keep teaching.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My biggest goal this year is to stop ignoring my own potential. With my busy schedule and starting a new job, I feel like God is finally opening doors for me and wants me to use my talents. There are so many opportunities coming my way, and I don’t want to miss out on anything that can get me closer to where I want to be. But the reality is that I can’t do it all. If I try to take on everything, I know that my effort and energy toward each opportunity won’t be as strong and focused. How can I make the decision as to what opportunities I am going to take, and how do I decide which ones to turn down? -- I Want It All

DEAR I WANT IT ALL: Step back and get quiet. You have to figure out what you want to do now. I recommend a daily meditation in the morning. Sit quietly, take three deep cleansing breaths and be still. Give yourself permission to listen for the wisdom within. Set the intention that you want guidance for your future. Usually, when we slow down enough to listen, we get messages that help to guide our steps. Write down whatever comes up.

Follow your instincts, knowing that you must choose one idea at a time to develop. What seems the most promising? Claim that and work on cultivating it every day. Give yourself a deadline -- maybe 90 days -- to see what manifests. Then evaluate next steps from there. Remember: One idea at a time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I suffer from extreme allergies all year long, and I work at a factory. When I get into one of my sneezing or coughing spells, I can feel my co-workers cringe. I get it. Coughing and sneezing spread germs, and nobody wants to catch COVID-19. But we all take COVID tests once a week. I have never tested positive. I have allergies. Trust me -- it’s not easy to have them and have to wear a mask, which only makes it harder to breathe. But I wear it anyway, just like everybody else. How can I get my co-workers to stop glaring at me? It’s hard enough to be there when I’m not feeling well. I don’t appreciate the hostility. -- Stop Glaring

DEAR STOP GLARING: Make a sign to wear saying, “I HAVE ALLERGIES, NOT COVID.” Seriously, if allowed, you may want to do that. It indicates to people that you are not a source of germs that they need to worry about.

I can only imagine how challenging it is for you to have to deal with the daily glares. Continue to take your allergy medication. Get the vaccine whenever it comes your way -- with your doctor’s approval, since you have allergies -- and wear a sign if your supervisor allows it. It may cut back on the hostility.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I want to be better at keeping in touch with people. I used to pop by and visit folks in pre-COVID-19 days. That included people in my hometown when I went home to visit during the holidays, and people in my neighborhood or from previous jobs whenever I had some downtime. Now I’m at home all the time. When people pop into my mind, I realize that it has been a long time since we have caught up. Do you think it’s weird if I start randomly calling people I may not have talked to in a year? I don’t want to be annoying; I just want to check in. Being alone for months and months is taking a toll on me. I can only imagine that this is true for some of the people I know. -- Checking In

DEAR CHECKING IN: It is very kind and thoughtful for you to want to reconnect with people you haven’t seen or talked to in a long time. It is natural, given the limitations that we have had on personal engagement since March of last year. I would imagine that people you know and care about would appreciate you reaching out.

What I do to stay organized is to make a list of the people I care about and want to contact. By writing down the names, I commit to following through. By checking off the names, I know who I have called and who is left to reach. Get creative with your list. Think of elders, community leaders, family friends, high school friends, college buddies, former co-workers, etc. When you can, use technology to create an intimate connection by videoconferencing and even scheduling group chats. Make it fun and engaging. Your loved ones will appreciate it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)