DEAR READERS: Happy New Year! Can you believe that we have crossed from the year 2020 into 2021? For many of us, 2020 was rough. From health challenges due to COVID-19 to political, economic and social unrest, we have been through it. Even for people who have found success during these intense times, it has often seemed overwhelming.

And now we have turned the page. We have the opportunity to reset and to claim what we want for this new year. We can choose the way forward for ourselves if we pay attention and take the right action.

The very notion that we can have some control over our destiny is empowering to me. I have been thinking about a concept that people talk about a lot -- embracing your superpower. Thanks to the rise in superhero comics and movies, we can envision ourselves as beings with the ability to move mountains, change thoughts and even save the world.

What is your superpower? What ability do you have to transform your life and make 2021 a better world for yourself and others? Great questions, huh? Rather than fretting over a New Year’s resolution that you may or may not keep, think about a personal superpower that you can cultivate and grow.

I want to recommend the superpower of embracing stillness. Not what you expected, huh? Think about it. If you take the time every day to sit quietly and listen to the voice inside, chances are, you will be able to tap into your own wisdom. Stillness makes space for your inner intelligence to emerge and show you the way for your life. It doesn’t cost anything other than your time and commitment.

I used to watch my grandmother, Carrie Freeland, who lived to be 101 years old, sit quietly in meditation every day. She would go into her room and sit in her beautiful old wooden rocking chair. She wrapped herself in a soft blanket and closed her eyes. There she sat, sometimes for more than an hour, gently rocking, seemingly transported somewhere else. I would walk in occasionally during this quiet time and try to get her attention, but she did not open her eyes until she was ready. When I asked what she was doing, she answered that she was listening to God. It took many years for me to grasp what that meant. I now know that during that time of stillness, and only then, can we commune with God, with that energy that is greater than ourselves but that dwells within each one of us. How powerful!

Here’s how you can do it: Get up a few minutes early each day. Sit quietly in an area where you will not be disturbed. Choose a special room or even go into your bathroom for a few minutes and close the door. Sit up straight, shoulders back and relaxed. Eyes closed. Take three deep cleansing breaths. Imagine with each inhalation that you are breathing in greatness. With each exhalation, you are releasing tension and discomfort. After three deep breaths, return to your natural breathing. With closed eyes, watch the natural flow of your breath. Notice the thoughts that come and go. Allow them to pass, trusting that whatever message is there for you will show its face. Mediate quietly for a few minutes. Then write down whatever came up for you. Look at your journal each day, and track the messages from within. If you commit to this simple daily meditation, you will begin to notice messages that can guide your life. I receive messages about physical fitness, family and work. Pay attention to learn what your messages are. Follow them, nurture them and watch your resolutions manifest. Here’s to an amazing year!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a gardener who I have been using for many years. He’s gotten much older, and I’ve noticed that his work isn’t as good as it used to be. He tends to show up late and leave early; he reschedules and cancels a lot; sometimes he forgets to come by at all. The grass is cut unevenly, and he leaves a chopped grass trail on the lawn. It doesn’t look like he is trimming my hedges at all. I’ve asked him to bring extra help to get the work done; he says he will, but he shows up alone, saying the guys weren’t able to come in to work. I get the feeling that his health is not great and his business is slowing down, which is why he doesn’t bring other workers anymore.

It feels like I’m wasting money because my yard doesn’t look like I have a gardener. I want to hire someone else, but I am stuck as to how I am going to fire him. Any tips on how to let him go? -- Goodbye Old Gardener

DEAR GOODBYE OLD GARDENER: Ask your gardener to meet with you. Thank him for his many years of service to your garden. Offer him a small token gift, along with a check or cash, as a thank-you for helping you for so many years. Tell him that you no longer will be needing him to work for you, but you want him to know how much you appreciate his dedication to your lawn. If he says he wants to continue to come, gently let him know that you will not be hiring him in the new year.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter suffers from depression. Quarantine has been difficult for her; she misses school and her friends and hates being stuck in a room all the time. Before, I could tell when she was having down days because she would come home and go straight to her room. On up days, she would come home, stop in the kitchen and do homework in the den around the family, and she would be present. With her home all the time and needing privacy to do virtual school, I can’t tell what kind of day she is having, and it’s not like teenagers are going to tell us.

I can’t read her anymore; everything is so different. She keeps her door locked, and I’ve asked her not to, but that hasn’t changed. She’s tried to hurt herself in the past, so I don’t like her door being locked. I want to take her door off the hinges until she returns to school. I am much more concerned with her safety than her privacy, but I don’t want her to resent me either. What kind of changes can we make together so I know she’s doing well? Is taking the door off the hinges too drastic? -- Quarantine Depression

DEAR QUARANTINE DEPRESSION: Speak to your daughter’s psychiatrist to ask for specific coping mechanisms to use. Do not take her door. You may want to install a small surveillance camera just to be able to check on her safety. Also, establish a daily check-in time when you and your daughter talk.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend and I went out to dinner, and she brought along her cousin, “Kate,” who I had never met. Kate was short on the bill, so I ended up covering for her because I was able to and she said she would get the money back to me. Since then, she hasn’t reached out to me. I called my friend and asked Kate’s number and called her. She assured me that she would send it the next day, but again I did not hear from her.

A week went by, and I asked my friend if she could pay me back or at least get the money from her cousin for me, but she was totally against it and said she didn’t want to get involved. We ended up getting in an argument because this is someone she brought around me. I understand that her cousin is at fault, but I feel like she has a responsibility to me as my friend since she introduced me to her family member who screwed me over. Am I wrong for feeling this way? What else can I do? -- Burned Friend

DEAR BURNED FRIEND: The mistake you made was paying for the cousin’s meal with the idea that you would be repaid. If you paid it as a gift, great. But fronting money to someone you don’t know is always risky. Yes, you have the right to expect that your friend would vouch for her, but did you ask your friend? You made assumptions. Now, in the best of worlds, your friend should have paid for the person she had tag along to your dinner. Your friend is wrong for bringing her without letting you know and for allowing you to pay for her meal.

This is a mess. Your friend is implicitly involved because she brought the woman to the meal. Make that clear to her, but know that chances are slim that you will recoup your money.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in a call center. The woman who sits next to me always stares at my screen. We have plastic dividers for COVID-19, but we can see through them, so I can see her looking my way. When I meet eyes with her, she keeps staring at my screen. I’m not sure what she is looking at or why, because our computers have high security blocks; the only thing we use are the work programs. I tried asking her if she needs help or if everything is all right, and she just smiles, says yes and turns away. But it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve taken the high road to try to strike up a conversation, hoping she might feel comfortable to share what it is she looks at, but she doesn’t speak at all -- she just smiles and nods. Now I’m freaked out. How do I deal with this, and do you have any other pointers for me to figure out what’s going on with her? -- Staring Eyes

DEAR STARING EYES: Ask your supervisor if you can affix an opaque piece of paper to your plexiglass to make it impossible for this woman to continue to stare you down. If that doesn’t work, see if you can change your seat.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)