DEAR HARRIETTE: My birthday is coming up, and I’m feeling kind of sad. I usually host a big party, but I wonder if I can do anything at all this year. I live by myself and feel nervous about hosting a party. I think the rules say that we can have up to 10 people together as long as we practice social distancing. But my gut says that’s a bad idea. How can I make sure that people will stay far enough away from one another? -- Birthday Celebration

DEAR BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION: First, be happy and grateful that you are reaching another year. As you know, tomorrow is not promised. That said, be creative and find your joy. Yes, you can host a gathering of 10 people, but is the space big enough for everybody to practice safe distancing the whole time? I doubt it. It’s not worth it to put your friends and loved ones -- and yourself -- in harm’s way just to have an in-person party.

Instead, consider using technology -- like FaceTime, Skype, Zoom or another video streaming service -- to connect to friends remotely. You can plan a party where people serve themselves treats and where you all get to talk to each other and share stories and love from a distance. Ask your friends to write you notes that they send via email or text. Use social media to host a virtual party. You can have fun and engage with your loved ones safely. You just have to decide that you will adjust to life as it is now and celebrate accordingly.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two roommates, but both of them took off after the illness started spreading in our town. We live in Brooklyn. Now that a lot of time has passed and they are staying with their parents, they want to sublet their rooms so that they will not have so many bills. I am nervous about this. I can’t afford to pay for the whole apartment, but I don't want to bring unknown people into what is currently a coronavirus-free space. I want to make them get tested before they move in if I have to take them. I’m not sure how that works, though. I don’t think there are any laws on this yet. But do you think it’s worth asking? -- Testing

DEAR TESTING: Appeal to your roommates’ humanity. Point out that they left the city in order to flee the virus. Even though it exists everywhere, it is concentrated in New York City, and even more specifically in Brooklyn. Ask them to require any potential new roommates to get tested before being allowed to move in. Though it is not easy to get tested, there are testing sites being set up in the city. Research where these people can get tested, and share that information with your roommates. Further, speak to your landlord about any requirements that the building may have put in place to keep you all safe. You may find backup right there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was scheduled to have surgery to repair a hernia when the COVID-19 virus broke out. Every elective surgery was canceled, including mine. I was going to have this surgery because where the hernia is feels uncomfortable, and the doctor recommended it. This isn’t like a boob job or something -- not to put anybody down for what they do. But this seemed essential for me. In my town, they are now allowing elective surgeries. I need to have this hernia repaired, but I am worried about going into a hospital with COVID-19 possibly lurking. How do you know when it’s safe to go? -- Elective Surgery

DEAR ELECTIVE SURGERY: Talk to your doctor. Express all of your concerns, and find out what his or her recommendation is under the circumstances. Also, do your own research. Find out if the facility where you will have the procedure has seen cases of COVID-19. If so, are there still coronavirus patients?

Know that elective surgery is the way that doctors make money, so they are likely eager to reopen their practices and offer as many elective surgeries as they can safely handle. With that in mind, you will need to weigh the risk versus the need. Ask your doctor how long you can safely put off this surgery. It could be that there is little risk if you delay it for a few months. On the flip side, if you do it soon, your recovery time won’t be a problem for work since you have to stay home anyway.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I haven’t gotten my stimulus check from the government for COVID-19 relief yet. I started asking around to see if any of my friends had gotten theirs yet, only to get embarrassed. Most of them blew me off, saying they make too much money to be eligible. I have a good life and all, but I don’t make a lot of money. That never seemed to be an issue within my friend group, but this simple question put me in an awkward situation. Now my friends know that I am broke. I feel embarrassed in a way that I never did before. At the same time, I need that check. How should I handle this? -- Embarrassed

DEAR EMBARRASSED: While many Americans have received their stimulus payments, there are still millions of people who are waiting. You can go to the IRS website to find out your status at irs.gov/coronavirus/get-my-payment. Be aware that while it seems simple, the website is automated, so you can’t ask questions. If you are unsuccessful in figuring it out, you can write to your member of Congress to ask for assistance.

As far as your friends go, chances are, you are more embarrassed than they were. Your reality of needing that money made you hypersensitive to the differences between you and your friends. It is likely that they haven’t given it a second thought. Stop worrying about what they think about you, and focus instead on taking care of yourself. If these people are true friends, they aren’t going anywhere just because they learned that you need some cash.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have quite a few cashmere sweaters that I wear in the winter. Even as we have been at home, I keep wearing them, and it’s time to get them cleaned. But the dry cleaners near me are all closed. It is still cool enough where I live to continue wearing them, but they are soiled. I have heard that you can hand-wash cashmere, but I’m nervous. I would be so mad if they shrank or lost their color. Even if I’m not going to wear them anymore this season, I don’t want to put them away dirty -- they will be sure to be eaten by moths. What do you recommend? -- Sweater Cleaning

DEAR SWEATER CLEANING: I have good news for you: In most instances, you can safely hand-wash cashmere. In fact, by doing so, you may even prolong the life of the garment. Use cold water and a very gentle soap. Do not wring the item so that you avoid stretching it out of shape. Do not put the garment in the dryer. Instead, lay it flat and block it in its natural shape. While you do not need to wash sweaters frequently in general, you can keep cashmere clean by following this simple method. For more details, go to realsimple.com/beauty-fashion/clothing-care/how-care-cashmere.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every year since I have had a job -- which is more than 20 years -- I have taken a trip out of the country for my birthday. I was not even able to go down the street this year, thanks to the virus. I am so mad and sad. I save all year long for this trip, and I usually go by myself. It’s my way of seeing the world and getting out of my daily routine.

This year, I did say a prayer of gratitude that I am healthy and made it to another birthday. But it also made me so sad. Life as we know it seems to be gone. I don’t know what to do. How can I find joy when we are living in quarantine? It didn’t feel like a happy birthday at all. -- How To Celebrate

DEAR HOW TO CELEBRATE: Blessings to you for completing another journey around the sun. You have lived to see another year! Many people cannot say that. Patience is what you need now. If you take a look at history, you will see that disease, natural disasters, famine and other tragedies have hit the world and left. With each wave of disaster, some people die, most people’s lives change, but life goes on. Today it seems like the world has come to a screeching halt, and life seems to be on hold.

Consider it more like a pause. This will not last forever. People will begin to travel again. Will it be different? I’m sure it will, and we will all adjust. Have faith that your journey is not over. You will soon see what is in store for your life. During this time when you are not free to travel, get your house in order -- both your actual house and your inner house. What can you do now to improve your life? Focus on that -- on the inner journey -- until such time as you are able to explore the outside world again.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)