DEAR HARRIETTE: I have had a crush on this guy for years. We became friends and started seeing each other, but after a while it just felt like he lost interest, and we fell off. We stopped talking and seeing each other. Since then I’ve remained single, and every few months we reconnect and talk for a while, but it's not long before we fall off again.

Sometimes I get so disappointed about nothing changing between us that I block him to keep him off my mind, but I always end up looking him up again just to see that he has left me a message during the time I’ve written him off. I don’t want to stay in this circle of getting my hopes up waiting for his feelings to change. What can I do to fight the urge to look back and stop revisiting something that will never happen? -- Waiting on Nothing

DEAR WAITING ON NOTHING: You need to do a self-evaluation. What do you want, and what do you believe you deserve? Crushing on someone almost always means that it is one-sided. Your obsession, lust and curiosity about this man seem to be clouding your vision of reality.

What can you do? You can speak directly to him, state the obvious -- that you like him -- and ask him if he wants to give it a go. If he waffles or otherwise does not commit (which is likely, based on your history), step away. Stop searching for him. Stop longing for him. Give yourself the mental and emotional space to be available to someone who may truly want to be with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I accidentally revealed to my best friend’s boyfriend that she has been talking to her ex. I thought that he knew they were still friends because he is in our friend group, but she had been lying to him about the extent of their friendship. He broke up with her, and she has been an absolute wreck over the breakup.

I feel terrible and guilty because it is all my fault. I didn’t know she was lying to him about being friends with her ex, and she never told me not to say anything. Maybe I was an absentminded friend. Our other mutual friends told me to take it to the grave and let them sort it out, but I can’t stand by, keeping this secret while she cries. Should I come clean? -- Slipped Up

DEAR SLIPPED UP: What good will it possibly do for you to tell your friend that you revealed this information to her boyfriend? She is already emotionally wrecked. Your revelation will only make her feel worse. It will not help her to heal.

By the way, it is not all your fault that they broke up. She is the one who was engaging with her ex and lying about it. Of course this is unfortunate, but she is going to have to deal with her own feelings and actions and figure out a way forward. When the time comes, if it comes, you can reveal your role in the revelation. For now, if she wants to talk about this, encourage her to think deeply about what she wants for her life, so that she can choose wisely.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I worked for several months on a project that culminated in a big public event. As the lead on this project, I brought in another company to coproduce with me. Together we did an excellent job -- by all accounts. When the event was over, the head of the company called my partner to say thank you but did not call me. I thought that was rude. I am the one who brought everyone together. While my partner definitely had an important role in the event, I found it odd that the big boss didn’t think to thank me.

I know I have to get past these hurt feelings, but also I think it’s important for him to know that my team coordinated the entire effort. Also, I don’t want him to go over my head in the future and choose to hire my partner and cut me out of the deal. How should I handle this? -- Taking the Lead

DEAR TAKING THE LEAD: It’s perfectly understandable for you to expect that your client would acknowledge you as the leader of the project you were hired to fulfill. But you are right: You cannot let your feelings get in the way.

Instead, as the leader, be proactive. Send a thank-you note to him and his staff, extending your appreciation to him for hiring you and your partner for this project. Reiterate that you hope they continue to be pleased with the results of the event. Then add that you hope they will think of you for future projects.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started visiting a coffee shop once a week to have a chance to get outside and do some work in a different setting. This coffee shop is typically empty and only allows a few customers in at a time. It is around the corner from my apartment, so I enjoy going there.

A new barista recently started there. He is nice and makes good drinks, but he is super flirty and chatty. I spend a good amount of time there, and he will constantly come over to my table and compliment me and talk to me and ask me out on dates. I have turned him down and told him I just want some alone time to get my work done, but he doesn’t stop. I don’t want to find a new shop, but this barista is disturbing. What should I do? -- Chatty Coffee Shop

DEAR CHATTY COFFEE SHOP: The next time he approaches you inappropriately, tell him clearly and directly that he is making you uncomfortable. Point out that you come to this coffee shop regularly, and he is making you feel that you should stop coming. Tell him that you intend to report him to his supervisor if he does not stop. Give him a chance to back off.

If he continues, make a beeline for his boss and describe the offensive behavior. You are perfectly within your rights to have a peaceful experience devoid of harassment at this coffee shop.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is a popular social media influencer. Since she has become more popular, she has been entertaining the idea of having plastic surgery to keep up a particular image that the media puts out there for society. I am totally against it. I think she became popular being who she is, and changing that is not going to make her more popular. Apart from that, it is expensive and dangerous, and she wants me to help her pay for it. Why are millennials so focused on their appearance and wanting to change it? She is beautiful. -- Mother of a Beauty

DEAR MOTHER OF A BEAUTY: A huge challenge of being so engaged with social media is managing a healthy self-image. People judge so harshly on social media, both liking and dismissing aspects of those they view in a blink. Never mind how the people being judged are affected by the click of a finger on a computer or handheld device.

As a parent, your job is fierce. You must constantly remind your daughter of her value and work to help her see that she is beautiful as she is, inside and out. If your daughter is still a minor, you can forbid her from having plastic surgery. But more, you should encourage her to employ temporary alterations rather than permanent ones as she explores her personal appearance.

Makeup application can change the appearance of one’s facial features without ever using a knife. (I remember when I was a young model, a makeup artist suggested that I get a nose job. He hurt my feelings, but I opted to use contour instead!) Wardrobe alterations can often make a difference in one’s appearance by camouflaging or emphasizing curves, depending on the desired effect, rather than taking drastic measures with surgery.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In response to your reply to the Family With a Dog, I wanted to add: Training children to be responsible is a very important goal. Sometimes children need help and encouragement in the form of rewards and recognition. Helping each member of a family feel good about their contribution helps build self-esteem. This is an important task for the parent and not as easy as creating negative consequences. Parenting classes and family meetings can make a huge difference in learning how to raise children positively. -- Positive Reinforcement

DEAR POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT: You are absolutely right that it is important to teach children to be responsible. In general, this is an important principle. It is key with animals -- with the lives of these pets. Pointing out how grateful pets are for their love and support can be inspiring. Showing kids the impact that their individual actions have on the well-being of the family pet can be uplifting and engaging.

Your recommendation for parenting classes is great --for those who have the time and money to devote to that. I also appreciate the idea of family meetings. When there is a weekly time scheduled for all family members to gather and talk about the needs, goals and responsibilities of the family, you create space for regular discussion about whatever is going on for all family members. Great ideas! Thanks.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)