DEAR HARRIETTE: There is a guy my age who lives in the same dorm as me. We sometimes study and hang out together on campus. He told me that he really likes me and wants to date me. Although I do like him and have a crush on him, I only ever viewed him as a friend because I know that he has a young child and has another baby on the way back home where he lives. We have the same friends, so the information is out there, but we have never really had a conversation about his family and life back home.

He is a senior, and this is his last semester, so I kind of feel that if I do like him, now is my only chance to act on it, but how do I appropriately bring up his family situation? I don’t want to date a guy that has a girlfriend, but I know that there are cases where the parents aren’t together. Am I getting in way over my head trying to deal with this type of situation in college, or should I just follow my heart? -- Young Crush

DEAR YOUNG CRUSH: You need to be practical. Your crush is a far more serious situation than a potential fling. Be direct with this guy. Tell him the truth -- that you like him too. Add that you are concerned that he may not be available for a relationship. Tell him that you know that he has a child and another on the way. Point out that you are not looking to be just a source of fun before he goes off to his “real” life. Ask him what he wants for his life and what he wants from you.

Yes, this is a grown-up conversation, but it is also what this moment calls for.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an old friend from high school who just started staying with me because she has nowhere else to go. She has a 7-year-old daughter in school. She never actually finished high school, never went to college and just can't hold a job. Other students said she had a drug problem in high school, but I defended her. Now that I see where she is in life, I wonder if the rumors were true. She has been going out to look for a job each day after taking her daughter to school.

Now she has a job, but I’m concerned about the type of work she does. She said she came in contact with a man who needs occasional help with errands, so she only works sometimes, but when she does work, she brings home quite a chunk of money and always in cash. Some days she comes home wired and excited, buying us groceries and taking us out to eat, but other nights she will throw the money on the table and not even speak to us before going straight to bed. I am concerned about her patterns and behaviors, wondering if the work she is doing is illegal. She’s doing well and taking care of everything she is supposed to, but I just don’t want her to sell herself short in order to stand on her feet. Any advice about what to do in this type of situation? -- Getting Her on Her Feet

DEAR GETTING HER ON HER FEET: You have to think about yourself, too. Having someone live with you who is possibly doing illegal work should give you pause. Talk to her and find out exactly what she’s doing for money. Get her to talk to you about her life. Ask her what her plan is.

Give her a timeline for staying with you. As awkward as it may feel, tell her that she cannot stay long term if she is doing illegal work.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a guy best friend who has a daughter. Since the birth of his daughter five years ago, his daughter’s mother has never liked me. She thinks that he and I were involved, but that is not true. She has started arguments with him about me seeing his daughter and buying her things. I have never met the mother, but we have had a few conversations over social media. Some have been bad, and other times have been better.

One day, I got a phone call from him, saying that his daughter’s mother wanted me to come meet up with them. I just got the feeling that she wanted a violent encounter. I’m not that type of person, and my best friend knows this. It was weird that he would call me and put me in a situation with his daughter’s mother like that, especially since I really don’t know anything about her. The next day, he apologized and explained that they were arguing and she got the best of him, and he had made a bad decision by calling me. I told him, in the best interest of his daughter and my sanity, maybe we should stop hanging out and being friends. Maybe if we stop being friends, it is one less thing for them to argue about, especially if she is threatening to keep his daughter away from him if she thinks he will bring her around me. Honestly, I am sick and tired of her harassing me all these years. I just want to know if I made the right decision to let this friendship go. -- Had Enough

DEAR HAD ENOUGH: Your best friend should have introduced you and his child’s mother years ago and handled his business so that everyone could be clear about relationships and boundaries. She is not wrong to want to know who is spending time with her child. If your friend decides to fix this by establishing a more mature engagement among all three of you, great. If not, you are right to walk away.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I own a small business geared toward children and family fun. My business generates about a million dollars each year. I employ counselors, usually high school or college students and young adults. We have fewer than 10 staff members. I offer New York state’s minimum wage for a part-time position.

Though I understand that young adults I hire are eventually going to pursue a bigger career and goals, I’ve had an ongoing problem finding long-term, loyal employees. Staff members typically only stay with the company for three to four months before I have to hire another counselor to replace one that has put in their two-week notice. Staff members that do stay and make it to at least six months with us tend to slow down and stop working as hard as they did when they first began the job. Then discussions begin about pay raises, but in my understanding, most jobs offer that after being with the company for a full year. What are your suggestions on keeping staff long-term, how to deal with burnouts, and employees' feelings of deserving more the longer they are with our company? -- Want Loyal Employees

DEAR WANT LOYAL EMPLOYEES: You may want to change your policy and offer pay raises at different increments, based on the rhythm of your previous employees. Consider creating performance raises -- even if they are small -- that will show your employees that you value them. Evaluate your experience over time and adjust your compensation practices to inspire retention.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been married for 10 years, and we have three kids. We were high school sweethearts and each other's first loves and never dated other people before we were married. I would say we are happily married. My husband works late often and takes a lot of work trips.

Maybe I ignored all the signs, because he has been seeing someone else for the past year. He came to me and completely confessed and told me that he is in love with someone else. As you can imagine, I was a deer in headlights to hear this. He said that we rushed into this marriage, and he now wants time to discover life and other people. I was so stunned that I told him to leave and haven’t spoken to or seen him in three days. I’m trying to gather myself to figure out what is next and where to go from here, but I just don’t know. Any advice for women that have been cheated on? I am lost. -- Heartbroken

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: You and your husband need to talk. Schedule a time when you two can sit down and discuss the situation. Find out what he intends to do, and that includes how he plans to care for the family. Suggest that the two of you go to a marriage counselor. This can be helpful even if you decide to divorce. You will need to sort through finances, child care, property -- everything. And you will likely need emotional support that your husband cannot give you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I visited my favorite restaurant last week, and while I was in the bathroom, I noticed a roach. I have never seen any insects there before, so I wasn’t alarmed. I went again this week, and again I saw a roach. This time I noticed it walking up the wall next to where we were eating. When I notified the waiter, he apologized, saying it was because they had left the door open and sometimes they get inside. Anyone who knows anything can tell that that answer was just full of it.

I became very concerned at that point and asked to speak with a manager. He apologized and moved us to another table in the restaurant. I’m not exactly sure what the protocol is when someone finds an insect in a restaurant, but I feel like more should have been done. I want to contact the Department of Health, but I do not know if I am overreacting or not. Have you ever been in this situation before? -- Disgusted Customer

DEAR DISGUSTED CUSTOMER: Rather than going immediately to the Department of Health, circle back to the manager and express your genuine concern about the cleanliness of the restaurant. Point out that this is your favorite place to go out to eat. You know how tough it is during a pandemic to keep a restaurant open, but you also do not want to eat at a place that has a roach infestation. Ask him when they will be having an exterminator come in. Press him to take measures to prevent further incidents.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)