DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been married for 10 years, and we have three kids. We were high school sweethearts and each other's first loves and never dated other people before we were married. I would say we are happily married. My husband works late often and takes a lot of work trips.

Maybe I ignored all the signs, because he has been seeing someone else for the past year. He came to me and completely confessed and told me that he is in love with someone else. As you can imagine, I was a deer in headlights to hear this. He said that we rushed into this marriage, and he now wants time to discover life and other people. I was so stunned that I told him to leave and haven’t spoken to or seen him in three days. I’m trying to gather myself to figure out what is next and where to go from here, but I just don’t know. Any advice for women that have been cheated on? I am lost. -- Heartbroken

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: You and your husband need to talk. Schedule a time when you two can sit down and discuss the situation. Find out what he intends to do, and that includes how he plans to care for the family. Suggest that the two of you go to a marriage counselor. This can be helpful even if you decide to divorce. You will need to sort through finances, child care, property -- everything. And you will likely need emotional support that your husband cannot give you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I visited my favorite restaurant last week, and while I was in the bathroom, I noticed a roach. I have never seen any insects there before, so I wasn’t alarmed. I went again this week, and again I saw a roach. This time I noticed it walking up the wall next to where we were eating. When I notified the waiter, he apologized, saying it was because they had left the door open and sometimes they get inside. Anyone who knows anything can tell that that answer was just full of it.

I became very concerned at that point and asked to speak with a manager. He apologized and moved us to another table in the restaurant. I’m not exactly sure what the protocol is when someone finds an insect in a restaurant, but I feel like more should have been done. I want to contact the Department of Health, but I do not know if I am overreacting or not. Have you ever been in this situation before? -- Disgusted Customer

DEAR DISGUSTED CUSTOMER: Rather than going immediately to the Department of Health, circle back to the manager and express your genuine concern about the cleanliness of the restaurant. Point out that this is your favorite place to go out to eat. You know how tough it is during a pandemic to keep a restaurant open, but you also do not want to eat at a place that has a roach infestation. Ask him when they will be having an exterminator come in. Press him to take measures to prevent further incidents.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a weird experience the other day. My girlfriends and I were all out for lunch, and we had a really great server. He was polite, made jokes and light conversation and kept our water and wine glasses full. The only weird part was that each time he left our table, he stood nearby. He would stand near the empty table next to us or at one of the pillars around us. He stayed in close proximity almost as if he were watching us. And it wasn’t like he was keeping an eye out to see if we needed something. He just constantly stared at us like he was listening to us. We all felt like we couldn’t speak, and we had to just eat the food and look happy.

The restaurant was pretty empty, so there wasn’t much else for him to do or other tables to wait, but usually they go back into the kitchen and come out to check on us. It was oddly uncomfortable, and we were unsure of what to say or do. We asked for the check and left, but we didn't enjoy lunch at all. We ended up going to a cafe to chat because we rushed out of there. What would you have recommended that we do in that situation? -- Disturbing Brunch

DEAR DISTURBING BRUNCH: One of you could have gotten up and gone over to him to thank him for taking care of you, adding that you want a bit of space. You could have called him on being overly focused and that you would like some privacy. You also could have spoken to the manager of the restaurant -- not to complain, but just to say that while you appreciate the server's attentiveness, you want to be free to talk with your girls without being so closely observed.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I still live separately, but we pretty much do everything together and share everything, including my car. I saved up money to purchase an older car that needed some work done, and my boyfriend has been putting a lot of time and money into it to make it run well and be more comfortable to drive. Sometimes I use the car to take him to work, or he will take me to work depending on if one of us has other errands that we need to run. He has also been using the car to go out with his friends at night and on the weekends.

He just told me that he’s going away for the weekend with his friends and taking the car. That means I would be without a car, which I told him won’t work because it’s my car and I need to get to work. He thinks I am selfish because he has put more money into the car than I have, and he takes care of it and fixes all the problems. He seems to believe that I wouldn’t even have the car if it weren’t for him, so I should allow him to take it for a weekend. But again, where does that leave me? Should I let him take the car? -- Whose Car Is It

DEAR WHOSE CAR IS IT: Thank your boyfriend for all of his help with your car. Put your foot down -- not even so much about it being your car, but more that you have to go to work. You need the car for work. His trip is for play. He needs to find another option for travel.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a lot of things going on in my personal life trying to balance my business, my stepsons, work and school. I work every other weekend, getting up early to do stepmom duties and then having to open a shop. I keep my stepsons with me most of the time and have to home-school them. I try to keep them active and learning by having them help me with chores.

I just opened this new beauty shop, so a lot of my time goes into promotion and trying to get new customers in the store. Sometimes I feel like it can be difficult, but I look at others and say if they can do it with more than what I’m juggling, then I know I can. What are some tips you can give to keep focused when having a lot on my plate? -- Full Plate

DEAR FULL PLATE: Busy people are often the ones who can manage multiple responsibilities. Get organized so that you can stay focused.

Make a list every evening of all of the tasks you must accomplish the next day. Write them out in categories that include all aspects of your life -- stepsons, home, the shop, your health and whatever else is important. Under each category, list bite-sized tasks that need to be completed with deadlines when applicable. Then, on the next day, execute your list. This should keep you streamlined and aware of what you have to do and whether you did it or not. Remember to include your health. This is key to being able to complete all of the other tasks.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an assistant for the CEO of a large corporation. I've been his assistant for about four months now. From my first day, he would call me honey, dear, sweetheart, things like that. At first, I thought it was because he couldn't remember my name. Then I noticed that he began to compliment me every morning, admiring my hair, smile and eyes in our video conferences. Now it has turned into him asking me very personal questions, like whether I am single or have kids. He jokes that we have to get together eventually outside business for drinks so that he can really get to know me.

I was hired virtually, and he said he's been through a few assistants in the past few years. I am starting to wonder if he's had any complaints of sexual harassment brought against him. He hasn't done anything too inappropriate, but I can see him headed down that road. What do you suggest I do if I fear being sexually harassed? -- Precarious Assistant

DEAR PRECARIOUS ASSISTANT: You are right to be concerned. I consulted an attorney about such incidents and was informed that when behavior makes you feel uncomfortable and feels like it is headed toward being inappropriate, you should have your antennae up. Further, she recommended that you speak to an attorney about it first, before going to the human resources department.

Typically, the HR department of a company protects the company. You should have independent counsel listen to your concerns and make a legal recommendation of how to proceed. Meanwhile, do not agree to drinks or any other type of personal engagement with your boss.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)