DEAR HARRIETTE: My son’s school is currently virtual. They have introduced what they call a "recess room" where all students from the school can interact in a Zoom room and play games and activities during the day. I have noticed that my son has clicked with one female student in particular. She looks somewhat older, but she is a schoolmate. Now my son is asking to have a playdate with this student.

I asked him how old she was, and he didn't know. I asked him what grade she was in, and she’s in the 8th grade -- my son is only in the 4th grade. I just feel like that is too big of an age difference. He expressed that he really likes this girl and he wants to have a date with her at our home. Is this inappropriate at his age, or do you think it’s harmless? I have some concerns and don’t know my next move. -- Young Love

DEAR YOUNG LOVE: Bringing the young lady into your home for a playdate that you can supervise gives you intel and control. You can decide where they can be in your home. You can be present or at least within earshot. Children are often curious about each other. Though they are in two very different age groups, there is a chance that they can truly become friends. If it seems suspicious or anyway untoward, you can have a front seat to it and control it.

During remote learning and general quarantine, you have more control today than you might have later when things open up. You should definitely speak to the girl’s parent or guardian before inviting her over so that everything is out in the open.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a musician, and most of my income comes from shows I play in for artists. On most days when I am not working, I am a stay-at-home dad. I write my own music at home in my studio when the kids are at school. My wife recently began working from home as well. This is new for both of us. In addition, the kids are only going to school now half of the week. My wife and I began sharing the office so that we could both get away from the kids when they were doing their schoolwork.

Sharing an office with my wife has been difficult. She has certain habits and tics that help her think, but they drive me crazy! I can’t concentrate with her in the same room while she’s also trying to concentrate. I would move to a different room in the house, but all of the materials I need are in my office, and it's my safe space that I am used to working in. But I feel bad asking my wife to work somewhere else simply because I find a few of her habits annoying. How do we compromise so we can get both of our work done at the same time? -- Noisy Workspace

DEAR NOISY WORKSPACE: I have two suggestions. Tell your wife about the things that she does that bother you, and ask her to be mindful of them. She may not even realize that she is disturbing you. Second, invest in noise-canceling headphones that will cut down the outside sounds considerably.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got into a big argument with my sister the other day, and my daughter overheard. I was so mad at my sister that when I got off the phone I said out loud that when our father dies -- which is likely soon -- I don’t think I will talk to her anymore. But as much as my sister and I don’t get along, that is how much my daughter and she love each other.

My daughter was so upset to hear what I had to say. I was mad. I know I shouldn’t have talked like that about my sister to my teenage daughter and only child, but it happened. How can I fix this? I don’t want to put my child in the middle of my quarrel with my sister. -- Sibling Drama

DEAR SIBLING DRAMA: Apologize to your daughter for talking badly about your sister. Explain that you were upset, and in the moment you went off about her. Tell her you know how much they love each other, and you never want to do or say anything to negatively affect their relationship.

More, do your best to become civil with your sister. Stop holding that timeline over your heads about the demise of your relationship. Love your father. Be kind to your sister. One key change that you may want to employ is to resist falling into old behaviors from your childhood. Don’t allow your sister to trigger you the way she did years ago. Maintain your adult composure and do not veer off course when something comes up that is upsetting. Be an adult all the time. Perhaps then your relationship may mature.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor has a serious green thumb. She has created an impressive kitchen garden in her apartment. She has asked me to tend to her garden while she goes to visit her family overseas for a month.

I know that she has to go because her mom is ill, but I am very uncomfortable with this responsibility. I have never been able to keep plants alive for myself. To have to water all of these different plants properly over such a long period of time is a recipe for disaster. I am very busy with my work and just don’t want to say yes to this. I really like my neighbor and want to support her, but this is too much to ask. What should I say? -- Not a Gardener

DEAR NOT A GARDENER: Be honest with your neighbor. Tell her that you worry that she will come home to a kitchen full of poorly tended, possibly dead plants because gardening is not your forte. Offer to help in other ways -- maybe collecting her mail or handling some other tasks.

If she presses and asks you to do it anyway because she doesn’t have anybody else to ask, you will have to decide. You could agree with the understanding that your best may not be good enough. You can suggest that she hire someone to tend to them. Or you can just say no.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: Happy Veterans Day! I offer love and blessings to all veterans and veterans’ families. We live in a country that has enjoyed relative safety from foreign violence on our shores for many years, in large part thanks to the strength, dedication, skill and sacrifice of our military. For those who have fought on our behalf, we give thanks. To their families, we offer our deepest gratitude because we know that the sacrifices do not end with the person who served.

So many of our families can share stories of members who served in a branch of our armed forces over the generations. My maternal grandfather served in WWI. My father served in WWII. I still remember stories that he used to tell us. Being a tall Black man in the '40s, he had lots of challenges due to segregation and Jim Crow on our own shores. In France, he was beloved. He enjoyed telling us how he was able to serve our country and also, ironically, be better respected abroad than in America.

When I listen to families today talking about loved ones who have served or who are currently serving, I see a similar reverence for the commitment they have made and concern about how they will fare if and when they return home.

I see veterans in my own neighborhood, some who are suffering from conditions -- likely PTSD -- who are not receiving care. I have known veterans who came home burdened by mental distress and not seeking or receiving the support they needed. To be fair, there are plenty of veterans who are getting that life-preserving help. But surely we can do more for these people.

Especially now, during the pandemic, when resources seem to be stretched, we need to remain generous and thoughtful to our veterans. Even more, we can lobby our elected officials and the White House itself to do all in their power to support our veterans. We should not, and cannot, forget these souls when they return home. We cannot afford to turn a blind eye to those who made the choice to serve our country.

I have neighbors who are Israeli. They have shared with me how every Israeli citizen must serve for two years in the Israeli army -- period. In this way, everyone must fulfill the responsibility of serving their country. Because it is a requirement, it isn’t something that people try to get out of or never consider in the first place. It’s part of their culture. Part of their DNA.

What is our culture’s relationship to military service? What is yours? Do you believe that you respect the men and women who serve? What more can you do to show your appreciation for their service? This is worth contemplating, especially today.

We can start by saying "thank you." We can start by acknowledging veterans when we see them in uniform. We can reach out to families and neighbors who we know have loved ones in service right now. We can choose to keep these people in our awareness and seek them out to offer support. We can be thoughtful citizens by not forgetting those who work to keep our borders safe. We can remember that our military is nonpartisan. The military is designed to support the country and all of its citizens regardless of political persuasion. We can take a page out of their book and begin to support each other. And then the much-needed healing for all of us can begin.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)