DEAR READERS: Happy Veterans Day! I offer love and blessings to all veterans and veterans’ families. We live in a country that has enjoyed relative safety from foreign violence on our shores for many years, in large part thanks to the strength, dedication, skill and sacrifice of our military. For those who have fought on our behalf, we give thanks. To their families, we offer our deepest gratitude because we know that the sacrifices do not end with the person who served.

So many of our families can share stories of members who served in a branch of our armed forces over the generations. My maternal grandfather served in WWI. My father served in WWII. I still remember stories that he used to tell us. Being a tall Black man in the '40s, he had lots of challenges due to segregation and Jim Crow on our own shores. In France, he was beloved. He enjoyed telling us how he was able to serve our country and also, ironically, be better respected abroad than in America.

When I listen to families today talking about loved ones who have served or who are currently serving, I see a similar reverence for the commitment they have made and concern about how they will fare if and when they return home.

I see veterans in my own neighborhood, some who are suffering from conditions -- likely PTSD -- who are not receiving care. I have known veterans who came home burdened by mental distress and not seeking or receiving the support they needed. To be fair, there are plenty of veterans who are getting that life-preserving help. But surely we can do more for these people.

Especially now, during the pandemic, when resources seem to be stretched, we need to remain generous and thoughtful to our veterans. Even more, we can lobby our elected officials and the White House itself to do all in their power to support our veterans. We should not, and cannot, forget these souls when they return home. We cannot afford to turn a blind eye to those who made the choice to serve our country.

I have neighbors who are Israeli. They have shared with me how every Israeli citizen must serve for two years in the Israeli army -- period. In this way, everyone must fulfill the responsibility of serving their country. Because it is a requirement, it isn’t something that people try to get out of or never consider in the first place. It’s part of their culture. Part of their DNA.

What is our culture’s relationship to military service? What is yours? Do you believe that you respect the men and women who serve? What more can you do to show your appreciation for their service? This is worth contemplating, especially today.

We can start by saying "thank you." We can start by acknowledging veterans when we see them in uniform. We can reach out to families and neighbors who we know have loved ones in service right now. We can choose to keep these people in our awareness and seek them out to offer support. We can be thoughtful citizens by not forgetting those who work to keep our borders safe. We can remember that our military is nonpartisan. The military is designed to support the country and all of its citizens regardless of political persuasion. We can take a page out of their book and begin to support each other. And then the much-needed healing for all of us can begin.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend just decided to move to Colorado. She said that since she’s working from home for the foreseeable future, she might as well go for something on her bucket list. I think she is so brave. She wants to be able to hike and be outdoors in nature and not worry about being cooped up in a tiny apartment in New York.

She invited me to join her, but I’m too scared. I do also work from home, but I have never lived anywhere else. I’m afraid that it might be too much for me. I moved back home with my parents when COVID-19 hit. Do you think I should give it a chance? I’m scared. -- Make a Move

DEAR MAKE A MOVE: This sounds like a perfect opportunity to spread your wings a bit. Since you are living with your parents, chances are you could move back with them if you need to come back home. If you are interested in the lifestyle that has attracted your friend, go for it. If you are not, take the time to figure out what will make you happy and go for that. Following your friend blindly is not a good idea. Take a moment to figure out if you really like the idea.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a call from an old college friend asking me to lend her some money. She said that she hasn’t worked since she got furloughed at the beginning of COVID, and she is running out of options for how to stay afloat. I feel so bad for her, but I am also worried that lending her money will only lead to a bad situation. How will she be able to pay me back when she is about to lose her home?

She asked for a big chunk of money that I can’t afford to give to her. I want to do what I can to help. That means I can give her a smaller amount. I’m afraid it won’t be helpful, and she will be upset. Do you think I should go ahead and give her the whole thing and hope she will find the money to pay me back? -- Want To Help

DEAR WANT TO HELP: You are wise to think carefully about how you can realistically help your friend. Rather than turning away from her in her time of need, be smart. Assess what you can afford to give her, and let her know the amount that you are happy to offer with no strings attached. Add that you are very sorry but you cannot afford to lend her the amount she requested.

If you share friends who may be similarly generous to her, you might offer to host a crowdfunding campaign on her behalf. What people used to do years ago was to host rent parties where people came together and fellowshipped while bringing whatever pennies they had to share to help the person in need. Crowdfunding feels like today’s version of the old-fashioned rent party.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hear all the political talk back and forth about COVID-19, and it makes me sick. My mother came down with it, thanks to her caregiver -- after months of not being allowed to see any of her family. We are heartbroken. She is healing, but it is slow. She has started losing cognitive ability, we think because she has been cooped up in her apartment unable to do any of the social activities that her residence offers.

We look at our precious mother, who has done so much for us, and it’s hard to hear people say that old people with ailments are going to die anyway, so that’s just how it is. She is our mother. I wish I could make the politicians stop dismissing whole groups of people, especially our elderly, as dispensable during this time. What can we do? -- Anti-COVID

DEAR ANTI-COVID: Sadly, I think for some people it takes seeing a loved one stricken with this awful virus for them to take it seriously. We should be thinking that every life is precious and doing all that we can to help each person. At least that’s how I was taught to look at people. All that I have read suggests that the elderly are more susceptible to this virus than young, healthy people. But that’s true about just about everything and surely doesn’t mean that we should shrug our shoulders and consider their demise a given.

I recommend that you write to or call your members of Congress and ask them to keep COVID-19 a priority issue for all Americans, especially the elderly. Be persistent with your protestations, as this will help them to know how serious you are. Blessings to you and your mother.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am mortified to realize that I have gained about 20 pounds during this period of quarantine. It seems to have just crept up on me. Yes, I have been sitting in my chair on Zoom calls every day for work. But I have had no choice. This is what the job requires. But I looked in the mirror the other day and couldn’t believe who was staring back at me. I have to get this under control. -- SOS

DEAR SOS: You are not alone. The combination of working virtually and being super-cautious about going outside during the pandemic has caused thousands of people to pack on some pounds. The good news is that you can do something about it. Many gyms, personal trainers, yoga teachers and other fitness professionals now offer classes online. You can join a class or hire a personal coach to work with you. Prices range dramatically, so you should be able to find the right teacher or class at the right price for you. There are even free classes online. You just have to look for them. Commit and take action.

I participated in a dance class with famed choreographer Debbie Allen on her Instagram page (for free). Did you know that supermodel Naomi Campbell has hosted exercise classes with her trainer (for free) on IG too? That’s just two out of hundreds of options to help you move. Don't forget -- you will also need to evaluate what you are consuming in order to lose the extra weight. Good luck!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)