DEAR HARRIETTE: I hear all the political talk back and forth about COVID-19, and it makes me sick. My mother came down with it, thanks to her caregiver -- after months of not being allowed to see any of her family. We are heartbroken. She is healing, but it is slow. She has started losing cognitive ability, we think because she has been cooped up in her apartment unable to do any of the social activities that her residence offers.

We look at our precious mother, who has done so much for us, and it’s hard to hear people say that old people with ailments are going to die anyway, so that’s just how it is. She is our mother. I wish I could make the politicians stop dismissing whole groups of people, especially our elderly, as dispensable during this time. What can we do? -- Anti-COVID

DEAR ANTI-COVID: Sadly, I think for some people it takes seeing a loved one stricken with this awful virus for them to take it seriously. We should be thinking that every life is precious and doing all that we can to help each person. At least that’s how I was taught to look at people. All that I have read suggests that the elderly are more susceptible to this virus than young, healthy people. But that’s true about just about everything and surely doesn’t mean that we should shrug our shoulders and consider their demise a given.

I recommend that you write to or call your members of Congress and ask them to keep COVID-19 a priority issue for all Americans, especially the elderly. Be persistent with your protestations, as this will help them to know how serious you are. Blessings to you and your mother.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am mortified to realize that I have gained about 20 pounds during this period of quarantine. It seems to have just crept up on me. Yes, I have been sitting in my chair on Zoom calls every day for work. But I have had no choice. This is what the job requires. But I looked in the mirror the other day and couldn’t believe who was staring back at me. I have to get this under control. -- SOS

DEAR SOS: You are not alone. The combination of working virtually and being super-cautious about going outside during the pandemic has caused thousands of people to pack on some pounds. The good news is that you can do something about it. Many gyms, personal trainers, yoga teachers and other fitness professionals now offer classes online. You can join a class or hire a personal coach to work with you. Prices range dramatically, so you should be able to find the right teacher or class at the right price for you. There are even free classes online. You just have to look for them. Commit and take action.

I participated in a dance class with famed choreographer Debbie Allen on her Instagram page (for free). Did you know that supermodel Naomi Campbell has hosted exercise classes with her trainer (for free) on IG too? That’s just two out of hundreds of options to help you move. Don't forget -- you will also need to evaluate what you are consuming in order to lose the extra weight. Good luck!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend and her husband are separated. She said that she doesn't want to be with him anymore, so she left him and started dating someone else. Her husband and I have always been friends since we all went to high school together, and he recently began confiding in me since the separation. We are spending a lot of time together, as neither of us sees my best friend often because she is dating someone new.

One thing has led to another, and now I have started seeing her husband regularly. I am beginning to fall in love with him. I don't know whether I should tell her, or if he should tell her. I don’t want her to be upset, but this connection was out of our control, and we want to see this through. Do you think I will lose my best friend if I pursue this true love? -- Wishful Thinking

DEAR WISHFUL THINKING: While these things do tend to happen -- mainly because people who spend time together often grow close -- there is little good that will likely come of this situation. Whether it’s right or not, your best friend probably believes that her husband should be off limits to you, especially since you are her best friend.

No matter how hot and heavy it has become, I think you should pump the brakes until you have a heart-to-heart with your friend. If you feel like you can’t resist being with this man, you have to tell her and risk the potential consequences of losing her friendship, at least in the short term. Chances are, she will feel betrayed. You can explain yourself, including saying that it wasn’t planned, that you two started spending time together to mourn the demise of their marriage, and things happened. Be prepared for the worst and see what happens. Your honesty will count for a lot.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I do a lot of motivational talks locally in my community. I am someone who knows many people in my town, and they have expressed how inspirational I am with my insight and guidance. Many teachers say I should speak with some of the students as a mentor or counselor, and I have done that as a volunteer for three years now. I have decided that I want to take this more public and create a business out of it, but I don’t know where to begin. Do I need an agent or manager? Where do I start to build my brand and trademark some of my sayings? Can you give any advice on how to start branding yourself? -- Next Steps

DEAR NEXT STEPS: You have a few options. Do research to learn how much speakers in your field are paid. Find out if there is a speakers’ certification program in your town that will give you credentials for speaking. Start taping your speaking engagements so that you have proof of how you command an audience. Build a social media presence for your work. Establish a website that showcases what you do. Ask some of the entities that have asked you to speak for free in the past to offer you an honorarium next time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a gated community. Recently, I noticed that my neighbor lifted the top off my garbage can and looked inside. I don’t think he put anything inside or took anything out, but it was just odd. I have a Ring doorbell and decided to put my trash can closer to my door so that my camera would pick up any movement. Over the last month, this same neighbor has gone into my garbage can each week. I can never tell why, or if he has checked other cans, but it has made me very uncomfortable. I know who he is and where he lives, but I am not sure if I should approach him about it or if I should just file a complaint with the police? What’s the right course of action here? -- Suspicious Activity

DEAR SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY: Start by speaking directly to your neighbor. Approach him and ask him why he has been looking in your garbage. Be kind, firm and direct. Tell him that your surveillance cameras have recorded him looking in your garbage, and you can’t imagine why he would be doing that. Let him explain himself.

You should also report this to the security force that is part of your gated community. Normally there is some kind of security presence in these areas. If he continues to look in your garbage, call 311.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a man in my mid-20s. I just relocated to my own place out of my parents’ home, but my apartment is not the best. I am in a low-income area, and my place is pretty old and outdated, but it is my own. I started dating a girl around the same age as me. She just started out at a law firm and lives downtown in a huge condo that is brand-new and modern. We have been getting together mostly at her place, though she has been asking over and over to come to my place. I always make excuses as to why we can’t, because I am really embarrassed about how I live compared to how she does. I want her to be comfortable, and at my place I am not sure that she would be. I don’t want her to think any less of me. I have been looking for better apartments, but anything remotely better than what I have is always out of my price range. I need advice about what to do here. I don’t want to bring her over. -- Ugly Apartment

DEAR UGLY APARTMENT: If you think there is a chance for you to have a real relationship with this woman, you have to come clean. Tell her why you are reluctant to bring her over: You have recently moved out of your parents’ home, and you are living in a humble space that is far from ideal. Agree to bring her over to see for herself, but make it clear that your place is modest and not in the best of neighborhoods. If she can’t accept you for where you live, it’s better to know now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)