DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiancee has always dreamed of a huge wedding with all of her friends and family there to watch. She has all these ideas of what she wants from the venue, to the dress, flowers, band and caterers. But all of that adds up to be expensive. Even if we do a big wedding in the cheapest way, it is still a lot to plan and pay for. I have expressed my concern about us spending that kind of money on a wedding when we could use the money toward a new home. I would rather just get married in a courthouse with a few friends and family there to witness and then go out for dinner instead of wasting a fortune on one day’s event. I really am against a huge wedding, but she is set on having one. How do we work this out? -- Penny Pincher
DEAR PENNY PINCHER: A dream wedding is a fantasy that many women (and men) have longed for since childhood. The reality check of planning for the future versus making that dream come true can seem insurmountable. What you have on your side are the circumstances in which we find ourselves. We are still in a pandemic, and you simply cannot have a big wedding in most states.
Encourage your fiancee to go for the smaller wedding sooner so that the two of you can be together as a married couple. Consider a hybrid version of what you and she want. Perhaps you can host a small ceremony and a small socially distanced dinner for starters. You might even consider broadcasting it via Zoom or some other videoconferencing tool to reach your larger group of friends. Then, later, after things loosen up and we feel safer, you can host a larger party for everyone you love to share your joy.