DEAR READERS: I am taking this time today to encourage every single American citizen who is 18 years old or older to vote. I am not writing to tell you who you should be voting for, only that I beg you to use your precious right and go do it.

I sometimes think that we have become too complacent in our country, making assumptions about how the world will work even if we have no say in it. But the reality is that we are blessed to live in a democracy where the people’s voices count. This is not just true about some people. It is not reserved for rich people. Or white people. Or people who live in certain neighborhoods. Or any other group that you might want to delineate. The pure right to vote has been fought for by thousands for many years.

Starting back in the days when slavery had just ended and Frederick Douglass and others were fighting for the rights of recently freed Black men to vote, the struggle has continued. It took literal blood, sweat and tears to achieve ratification of the 15th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which granted Black men the right to vote. It was with the efforts of suffrage advocates like Susan B. Anthony that the right for women to vote was won with the 19th Amendment 100 years ago. It took until 1965 with the Voting Rights Act (nearly 100 years after the ratification of the 15th Amendment) for all Black people (presumably) to be able to vote. (Listen to the podcast "She Votes!" by Ellen Goodman and Lynn Sherr for an amazing history lesson on suffrage. You might also watch "The Fannie Lou Hamer Story," a one-woman show by Mzuri Moyo Aimbaye about a Black woman who was beaten repeatedly for trying to exercise her right to vote 60 years ago.)

And yet, even today, as in years past, there are many roadblocks making it difficult for folks to cast their ballots. Gerrymandering and redlining could be affecting us right now. Have your district lines changed? Can you find your polling station? From literacy taxes of old that required odd and impossible puzzle challenges before people were allowed to cast a ballot to burned ballot boxes today, the ability to exercise your right to vote is not guaranteed.

And yet there are pockets of light. In several states, for the first time, formerly incarcerated people convicted of felonies have regained the right to vote. Perhaps this will reach a groundswell over time. (Read more here: www.cnn.com/interactive/2020/03/politics/we-count-texas/index.html).

If you take a moment to recognize how hard so many people fought to make it possible for every one of us to vote, you might be even more energized to cast your ballot today. Your voice matters, whether you are 18 or 89. Your voice makes a difference. Your single vote can affect the course of history. Cast your ballot and be an active part of our future.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in an interracial relationship and have been for four years. With the election coming up, my boyfriend, who is white, told me that he will not be voting because he does not support either of the candidates. I told him how important it is to vote and that we should exercise our right. I offered to let him come with me so we can vote for Biden together.

He then shared that, if he were required to vote, out of the two major candidates he would most likely vote for Trump over Biden. He says he doesn’t particularly agree with Trump's views, but he also does not agree with Biden’s views. I told him that in the interest of our interracial relationship, Biden is more on our side, so we should support him together. My boyfriend strongly disagreed and dropped the conversation. He couldn’t give me an answer as to why he would vote for Trump. Then he just concluded the argument by saying, “This is exactly why I will not be voting.” What does this mean? I’m having trouble processing and coming to terms of what this conversation meant. -- Interracial Voter

DEAR INTERRACIAL VOTER: This election is more polarizing than any I have seen in my lifetime. While I am not going to tell you who you or your boyfriend should vote for, I will say that it is smart to talk about the specific views that each candidate has on issues that matter to you. Go to their websites and pull up their statements on the issues that you care about. Debate what they have actually said rather than what you have heard second-hand.

Instead of arguing with your boyfriend, ask him to explain why he thinks Trump would be better for his life and for yours. It is worth further discussion even if it is difficult. Essentially, you want to know each other’s views about life and what’s important to you. These candidates help to delineate certain values. You should get clear on what each of you feels about how to build the economy, the right to life, women’s rights, health care and government support of the poor. Regardless of who you vote for, you should know if you two are on the same page on these key issues.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a stay-at-home mother, married with three kids. With our family all home a majority of the time, I have been wanting to pick up a job of my own. I had come to the decision that I want to take online college classes and finally pursue my bachelor’s degree in education in hopes of becoming a teacher. I have been home-schooling my kids since the quarantine began; I think that I am pretty good and would love to teach other kids.

When I discussed this with my husband, he was totally against it. He wants me to keep my time and focus on our own kids and that any time I spend outside the home working is only going to take away from our family and household. I understand what he means, but plenty of families have two working parents, so why couldn’t we? I really just want something to do that is my own. Is my husband right? Am I being selfish? -- Want To Get Out There

DEAR WANT TO GET OUT THERE: Do some research. Figure out if you can afford to be out of the house while your kids are growing up. You said you can take classes at home, at least during this extended quarantine period. If you can figure out a way to study and still care for your family, you may be able to have it all, so to speak. It may take time for your husband to come around. If you have the stamina to go for it, try it out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has been getting bullied and teased at school. My son is the more gentle type who likes magic and books. So he easily becomes sensitive when other kids take things from him or if he doesn't get his way. My husband has been trying to teach him how to stand up for himself. But my husband is really just teaching our son how to be a bigger bully back.

The kids tease and make jokes, so my husband has been teaching him jokes to throw back at the kids. He teaches him how to block punches and how to defend himself. But I hear about this type of story all the time. A kid that is introduced to that type of power who never knew how to use it before can end up being the bigger bully at school. I feel like my husband is training a monster in the making. What’s the best way to help your kids who are getting bullied without teaching them to be a bullies themselves? -- Bullying a Bully

DEAR BULLYING A BULLY: The research I’ve read suggests that taunting bullies by teasing them usually aggravates them and makes them more aggressive, so your husband’s strategy regarding the jokes may backfire. It would be better for your son to ignore their comments and walk away if he can. By not falling into their trap and reacting to their mean words, he can better hold on to his power. It is smart for your son to know how to defend himself. Encourage your son to report the children who are bullying him to his teacher, guidance counselor, principal and school security. As parents, you should advocate for your son with the administration as well.

Suggest that your son spend time with real friends at school if he has them, get involved in extracurricular activities that will boost his confidence and do his best to stay away from these kids. For more ideas read: www.parents.com/kids/problems/bullying/bully-proof-your-child-how-to-deal-with-bullies/.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family became bored during quarantine, and we decided to surprise our kids with a dog. We had an agreement that it would be the kids’ responsibility to clean up after the dog, walk him and feed him. The dog is an adult rescue, so he is pretty mature and well behaved. The problem has been our kids not taking care of him. They forget to take him on walks or feed him so he will make messes inside or steal food out the garbage.

I feel bad for our dog because it's not his fault! My wife and I have been doing everything for the dog while our kids don't pay him any mind. My wife is pregnant, and I don't think we will have the time for both the dog and the baby unless the kids pitch in. I've come to the decision that if the kids don't stick to our agreement, we will have to give the dog away. Our kids would be heartbroken, but they aren't acting responsibly. What other choice do I have? -- Family With a Dog

DEAR FAMILY WITH A DOG: Don’t give away the dog. Teach them how to be responsible. Design a daily schedule that includes rotating responsibilities for walking and feeding the dog. Create penalties for your children if they don’t care for him. Remind them that he is their dog, and they must look out for him. If you make the penalties serious enough -- like no cellphone use or other electronics -- it will get their attention.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)