DEAR HARRIETTE: I want to go on spring break with my friends, but I told them this year I won’t because of the pandemic. They are all convinced that by spring break 2021, the virus will be gone and things will be back to normal. The whole country assumed back in March that it would be over by the summer, but now we are going into winter and the virus is still here.

I have been reading and researching, and I am trying to share my thoughts with them to convince them to not go, but they will not listen. Our college student conduct board could suspend them from campus if it learns they left the country, and I don’t think risking our futures on spring break is worth it. What else can I do to convince them to stay? -- Stop the Spread

DEAR STOP THE SPREAD: Calm down and do some research. Look at infection rates in the places you are considering visiting. If your friends’ idea is to go to a popular spring break spot where many young people gather, definitely discourage that. Show them statistics on infection rates after large gatherings. Go to the Centers for Disease Control website to learn as much as you can about the virus and track its spread: www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-nCoV/index.html. One strong suggestion is not to travel unnecessarily until there is a vaccine. By most indications, one will not be widely available by spring 2021. Tell your friends what you learn, and make your own decision. They will have to make theirs.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This month, I moved across the country for a new job. I work for a nonprofit organization where we focus on rebuilding communities. This is my third placement; I typically live in an area for two years on each job. I work with my team to engage with the community and help the town create and offer better living conditions and support for its people.

The latest town has really taken a toll on me. I think for once I finally understand what it is like to live in a broken community. I have had so many issues with my living situation that I am ready to move a few towns over and commute to work. But the whole point of my position is to engage and relate to the locals, and I can’t do that if I’m not a part of the community. They will just see me as another outsider trying to come in and treat them as charity work, and I do not want that. Do I, as a professional, forgo basic personal luxuries for a job? That's my role and what I have been doing for years in different places, but this time it’s so much harder. I just need some help staying focused and motivated on our goal, and letting go of my superficial wants. -- Lifting Our People Up

DEAR LIFTING OUR PEOPLE UP: Maybe what you need is a break. Can you take a vacation and go visit family or friends where you can enjoy some creature comforts? Tending to yourself is important so that you can maintain the energy to do this important work. Talk to your organization’s leadership for advice. I’m sure this has happened to others before. Seek their guidance. If that still doesn’t work, you may need to move.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: COVID has taken a heavy toll on everything lately. I thought it'd be over already, but unfortunately it's not. I am running out of options as to where to look for child care. My parents are deceased, my child's father is in and out of the military and I don't have much family.

Day care facilities always have incidents, so I am very wary of sending my child to such a place. Where do you think I can find adequate child care services? How can I make it easier to trust day care providers, given the stories I've been hearing? -- A Hand in Need

DEAR A HAND IN NEED: You must be vigilant in shopping for safe and healthy day care. Set aside time to do extensive research. You can call The Child Care Aware hotline (800-424-2246) to find your local child care resource and referral agency, which can refer you to licensed centers and home day cares in your area. Ask your friends and neighbors for referrals. Visit any center that you are seriously considering. Learn their COVID-19 policies and safety practices. Ultimately, you will have to trust your gut, too. If you cannot work from home, you will have to choose the center that best matches your criteria and stay on top of them. For more ideas read: www.babycenter.com/baby/childcare/how-to-find-good-daycare_5924.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have this incredible job I've always wanted, but I’m just not happy. When I was young and people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said I wanted to make clothes. I love fashion. I love to draw new designs, and I know how to sew and bring a drawing to life.

I now have a dream job working with an upscale fashion line adding my taste and ideas to everything and getting to see it come alive. But once I see my ideas in magazines or on TV and in the stores, I no longer have the thrill I thought I would. Now, I am not even sure if fashion is really what I want to do anymore! How did I stop loving the only thing I have ever seen myself doing, and where do I go from here? I want to enjoy my job, but fashion is feeling like robotic work now, and I want more. -- Changing My Design

DEAR CHANGING MY DESIGN: One thing many people have said about being quarantined during COVID-19 is that they have taken time to assess their lives. It sounds like you are doing that right now and feeling the need to make adjustments.

Rather than doing anything rash, start doing research. Figure out where your passions lie now. What interests you? You may want to take a class to learn a new skill to prepare for a different type of work. It’s also possible that you may want to add a hobby to your schedule to help balance your time rather than walking away from your career. Give yourself a timeline of six months to a year to actively assess what’s next for you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two young children who are longing to go trick-or-treating for Halloween. I have told them no. It’s COVID-19 time. I think it would be crazy to let them go door-to-door taking candy from people. That seems like a surefire superspreader to me. They are so sad about this. I want to do something but don’t have any ideas. What do you recommend? -- No Halloween

DEAR NO HALLOWEEN: Why not host a small gathering outside -- in your backyard or another private area -- where you allow your children to invite a few friends? The group should be no more than 10 children. All children should wear masks the entire time, which shouldn’t be hard since children wear masks on Halloween anyway. Do not serve food. That would require the children to take off their masks. Host a few games that allow them to play safely at a distance but with each other, like individual relays or charades. Provide pre-packaged candy bags for each child so that they are not grabbing into the same containers repeatedly. They will appreciate this revised way of getting dressed up and being part of this fun experience while staying as safe as possible.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I suspect that my husband is either having an affair or about to. There’s a woman he talks about a little too much, and it’s making me nervous. We have been married for a long time, but our life is pretty boring. We haven’t been intimate in ages. I imagine that this woman seems exciting by comparison to me. I don’t want to lose my husband. I don’t think accusing him of infidelity will help us any, either, although I have half a mind to chew him out for what I think he may have already done. What do you advise to rekindle my marriage? -- Want Him Back

DEAR WANT HIM BACK: When I first got married, I talked to a woman who had been married for more than 20 years. She told me that one of her secrets for a successful marriage is that she and her husband have a standing Friday night date, no matter what. Sometimes they go out; other times they stay at home. But they always do something together.

Sit down with your husband and tell him that you want to refresh your commitment to each other. Point out that you know you two have fallen into a routine that is pretty boring. Invite your husband to date you again. Think of fun things you can do that you both enjoy. Turn the TV off and talk to each other. Tell your husband that you love him and that you want to work together to ensure that the next days and months are filled with moments that you both genuinely enjoy.

The approach of reclaiming your marriage and being willing to fight for it will likely work better than accusing him of adultery and providing him with an ultimatum. If he chooses not to engage in your recommendation, ask him to tell you why. If he continues to be withdrawn from you, then ask him if he wants to stay married to you and if he is seeing someone else. Good luck.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)