DEAR HARRIETTE: COVID has taken a heavy toll on everything lately. I thought it'd be over already, but unfortunately it's not. I am running out of options as to where to look for child care. My parents are deceased, my child's father is in and out of the military and I don't have much family.

Day care facilities always have incidents, so I am very wary of sending my child to such a place. Where do you think I can find adequate child care services? How can I make it easier to trust day care providers, given the stories I've been hearing? -- A Hand in Need

DEAR A HAND IN NEED: You must be vigilant in shopping for safe and healthy day care. Set aside time to do extensive research. You can call The Child Care Aware hotline (800-424-2246) to find your local child care resource and referral agency, which can refer you to licensed centers and home day cares in your area. Ask your friends and neighbors for referrals. Visit any center that you are seriously considering. Learn their COVID-19 policies and safety practices. Ultimately, you will have to trust your gut, too. If you cannot work from home, you will have to choose the center that best matches your criteria and stay on top of them. For more ideas read: www.babycenter.com/baby/childcare/how-to-find-good-daycare_5924.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have this incredible job I've always wanted, but I’m just not happy. When I was young and people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said I wanted to make clothes. I love fashion. I love to draw new designs, and I know how to sew and bring a drawing to life.

I now have a dream job working with an upscale fashion line adding my taste and ideas to everything and getting to see it come alive. But once I see my ideas in magazines or on TV and in the stores, I no longer have the thrill I thought I would. Now, I am not even sure if fashion is really what I want to do anymore! How did I stop loving the only thing I have ever seen myself doing, and where do I go from here? I want to enjoy my job, but fashion is feeling like robotic work now, and I want more. -- Changing My Design

DEAR CHANGING MY DESIGN: One thing many people have said about being quarantined during COVID-19 is that they have taken time to assess their lives. It sounds like you are doing that right now and feeling the need to make adjustments.

Rather than doing anything rash, start doing research. Figure out where your passions lie now. What interests you? You may want to take a class to learn a new skill to prepare for a different type of work. It’s also possible that you may want to add a hobby to your schedule to help balance your time rather than walking away from your career. Give yourself a timeline of six months to a year to actively assess what’s next for you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two young children who are longing to go trick-or-treating for Halloween. I have told them no. It’s COVID-19 time. I think it would be crazy to let them go door-to-door taking candy from people. That seems like a surefire superspreader to me. They are so sad about this. I want to do something but don’t have any ideas. What do you recommend? -- No Halloween

DEAR NO HALLOWEEN: Why not host a small gathering outside -- in your backyard or another private area -- where you allow your children to invite a few friends? The group should be no more than 10 children. All children should wear masks the entire time, which shouldn’t be hard since children wear masks on Halloween anyway. Do not serve food. That would require the children to take off their masks. Host a few games that allow them to play safely at a distance but with each other, like individual relays or charades. Provide pre-packaged candy bags for each child so that they are not grabbing into the same containers repeatedly. They will appreciate this revised way of getting dressed up and being part of this fun experience while staying as safe as possible.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I suspect that my husband is either having an affair or about to. There’s a woman he talks about a little too much, and it’s making me nervous. We have been married for a long time, but our life is pretty boring. We haven’t been intimate in ages. I imagine that this woman seems exciting by comparison to me. I don’t want to lose my husband. I don’t think accusing him of infidelity will help us any, either, although I have half a mind to chew him out for what I think he may have already done. What do you advise to rekindle my marriage? -- Want Him Back

DEAR WANT HIM BACK: When I first got married, I talked to a woman who had been married for more than 20 years. She told me that one of her secrets for a successful marriage is that she and her husband have a standing Friday night date, no matter what. Sometimes they go out; other times they stay at home. But they always do something together.

Sit down with your husband and tell him that you want to refresh your commitment to each other. Point out that you know you two have fallen into a routine that is pretty boring. Invite your husband to date you again. Think of fun things you can do that you both enjoy. Turn the TV off and talk to each other. Tell your husband that you love him and that you want to work together to ensure that the next days and months are filled with moments that you both genuinely enjoy.

The approach of reclaiming your marriage and being willing to fight for it will likely work better than accusing him of adultery and providing him with an ultimatum. If he chooses not to engage in your recommendation, ask him to tell you why. If he continues to be withdrawn from you, then ask him if he wants to stay married to you and if he is seeing someone else. Good luck.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: COVID has changed a lot for the education system. I just started my freshman year in college, and although I knew things were going to be different than expected, living in a dorm seems pointless. Some schools even deliver your meals. Luckily, at mine, I get to go pick it up and bring it back to my dorm. But there is literally nothing to do here. There are no sports, no gym, no clubs, no events, no parties. You cannot be around friends in computer labs or libraries or common rooms just to watch TV. We are forced into isolation and it is beginning to wear on me.

The transition from high school into college is hard enough, and virtual learning is making it more difficult. I never learn in my room. It is harder to focus, and I don’t feel like I am actually being influenced and learning the material. I just want to move out and go home. It is exhausting, and I feel like there’s nothing I can do here that I can’t do back at home with my family. Is this our new world? -- Sick of COVID

DEAR SICK OF COVID: The emotional toll that COVID-19 is taking on our world is dramatic. Many colleges offered the option for students to be on campus and live in dorms, but out of an abundance of caution, no activities are being held -- as you described. Isolation can wear you down emotionally and physically.

Before you go home, consider whether there are any students with whom you can visit outdoors at a safe distance. Can you connect with anyone in meaningful ways? If not, it may be best to move back home and do your work remotely until a vaccine can rescue us.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been seeing this guy for about a year now, and I have brought up the fact that he has not taken me out on a date yet. He always tells me that he will plan something, but he never does. He comes to see me, but all we do is hang out in his car and eat and talk. It is starting to become predictable and boring. I don’t want to do that all the time.

He complains about not wanting to spend extra money on going out. But not all dates require you to spend money. So I made it clear that if he does not want to go out and do something, then I don’t want to see him. I feel like he is never going to plan anything, and I am just wasting my time. Should I stick it out for a little bit longer to give him a chance, or should I just keep the focus on myself and see other people who are willing to do that for me? -- Need Fun

DEAR NEED FUN: Before dumping him, plan some activities and invite him to participate. He may be happy to do something fun, but he may not have ideas. His attentiveness counts for something. See if he is willing to expand his horizons by following your lead. If he refuses or really cannot afford it, you will have to decide if car dates are enough.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)