DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I live together. He doesn’t like to party or go out, but I do. I like to be with my girlfriends and have fun. All of my girlfriends are in relationships, too. Anytime I tell him that my girls want to go away on a trip, he tells me to go enjoy myself. When the day gets closer, he starts to tell me he doesn't want me to go because he doesn’t know what my friends and I will be doing and he's not comfortable with it. I know if I still go, he will just constantly call and text me and I won't enjoy myself.

At times, I feel trapped. I don't want to spend my life knowing there will never be an overnight trip I can take without him. I want him to be able to trust me, but he makes me feel like he doesn’t. Is this a trust issue or something deeper? -- Don't Want To Get Trapped

DEAR DON’T WANT TO GET TRAPPED: Since all of your girlfriends are in relationships as well, could you plan a couples trip? Perhaps if your boyfriend experiences being with the whole group, he may relax when you are just with the girls. That’s worth a try.

Outside of that, you may want to reconsider if this is the partner for you. If you and your girlfriends are truly just enjoying spending girl time together and he cannot accept that, he may be too controlling for your taste. Now is the time to figure out how compatible you two are -- that includes your values and practices. You need to have shared values in order to enjoy a long-term committed relationship.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I think my girlfriend is taking dieting too far. She has tried multiple different diets. Her whole goal is to lose weight and get in shape. But her drastic diets have caused her to lose sleep and become dehydrated, making her tired and unable to focus. Meanwhile, she does not work out, and she hasn't lost a single pound.

I can see she is straining her health, but there is no reward. She really thinks she feels a difference in her body and that it's for the best, but it's not. I've done research to help her realize she needs to eat healthy and exercise. I need help to guide her in the right direction and convince her to change her mindset. What resources can help her diet safely? -- Concerned Friend

DEAR CONCERNED FRIEND: Suggest that your girlfriend schedule an appointment with her doctor to get a complete assessment of her health. Her physician can refer her to a dietitian, who can design an eating plan that is healthy and low in calories. Be your girlfriend’s advocate and go with her if she allows you to. Encourage her to get professional, medically sound advice on how to move forward. With proper diet and exercise, she should be able to get her weight and health under control, but it is not easy. Do your best not to be judgmental as you encourage her to seek medical help. Be a cheerleader.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was previously a janitor for a school. Though schools are reopening, school days are limited, and I was officially notified that I will not be returning to work because my position was cut from the budget. Unemployment compensation for the pandemic is about to end. I’ve been searching for employment somewhere in my area but have been unsuccessful. I don’t have any degrees or skills.

I used to be so optimistic and applied for jobs knowing that I could sell myself up. But now that we’ve been home for so long, I feel like I don’t know how to get the go-getter attitude back. I feel like the only job I can qualify for right now is fast-food restaurants, and even then, positions are limited because I feel like everyone is trying to take whatever job they can, like me, and I have been unlucky. What else do I do to find a job, and what kind of jobs should I be looking for in this age of COVID-19? -- Struggling Worker

DEAR STRUGGLING WORKER: Times are incredibly tight, and you are right to be concerned. You also know that the winning attitude that you once had is essential for you to maintain to make yourself appealing to potential employers. Remind yourself of your willingness to work hard and your ability to do whatever job is before you. Continue to apply at fast-food restaurants, but expand beyond there. Look around in your neighborhood, at community centers, houses of worship, soup kitchens, nursing homes and other public service organizations. Know that front-line organizations that service people suffering from COVID-19 may have openings for janitors. If you are willing to take the risk, that may be a viable option. Go online and look for labor jobs. Write down the skills you used as a janitor and look broadly to see what companies are hiring. Do not give up.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I gave birth back in June, so my baby is about 4 months old now. The public is beginning to open back up. I have kept my newborn home and have not allowed anyone outside of my family to enter. Now we are transitioning to getting things back to normal. I have to return to work and hire a nanny.

I am terrified. I am nervous about hiring a nanny and not ever knowing what they do or where they go on their own time before and after they come to my home. Sending my child somewhere is out of the question. I know my worries are probably exaggerated, and I need to come to terms with getting back to normal, too. Since this is my first child, I have developed anxiety when it comes to my baby. What extra precautions can I use when I and others come and go from my home, and what can I do to put my mind at ease? -- Safe First Mommy

DEAR SAFE FIRST MOMMY: Stay vigilant. Statistics indicate that COVID-19 is back on the rise this season. The more you can keep your baby away from other people, the safer you will be. Continue to have family members -- and anyone else who comes in close contact with you or your baby -- wear a mask, wash hands thoroughly and keep a safe distance. Limit who can touch your baby.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My father and I haven’t spoken in about two years. I had a baby out of wedlock, and he disowned me the moment he found out. I lost my dad, mom and sisters and was estranged from the family on his orders. He doesn’t allow anyone in the family to communicate with me. The last time I spoke to them was the day he told me to collect my belongings and I had to move in with my boyfriend’s family. They don’t even know my child’s name or gender.

This week, my boyfriend gave me a piece of mail addressed to me that was labeled as coming from my father. My heart sank when I received it, and I have been sick ever since. I haven’t opened it and don’t know if I should. My 21st birthday just passed, so maybe it’s a birthday card. After not seeing or hearing from my family, though, why now? I have been so fortunate and peaceful since being kicked out. I don’t want to see anything that is going to shake my peace. Should I open the letter? -- Excommunicated Daughter

DEAR EXCOMMUNICATED DAUGHTER: Open the envelope. Whatever it is, you can handle it. Not knowing is eating you up. You might as well know. Sit with your boyfriend if you believe he will be supportive, and open the mail together. Whatever your father says, know that you are now an adult with a child and a family. You are already taking care of yourself and making your way without your father’s help. Of course you miss your family and are hurt that you are disconnected from them, but it’s essential that you remember that you have proven yourself capable of fending for yourself without them.

Now, open the letter. If it is conciliatory, you have your opening to reconnect to the family. If it is not, you will decide how to proceed. Do know that children have a way of melting hearts. Even when parents start out judgmental based on religious or other values, connecting to those little angels often can heal. You might want to send photos of your baby to your family with a note saying how much you miss them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I just started dating, and her birthday is coming up. I want to do something special for her. When I asked her what she wanted to do for her birthday, she said not to worry about it. If I have ever learned anything about women, I’m just going to assume she doesn’t actually mean that. I would like to take her word for it, but I just can’t be the boyfriend that actually does nothing.

My girlfriend is an interior designer, so she pays attention to detail and is very over-the-top, but she hates surprises. So I am stuck. Do I go big? Do I do something small? Should I tell her or not? She already gave me an answer, but I feel like her asking for nothing has put me in a more difficult position. How do I know how to give her what she wants? -- I Don’t Speak Girl

DEAR I DON’T SPEAK GIRL: Your effort is noteworthy. I wouldn’t surprise your girlfriend. Instead, invite her to a special socially distanced dinner with you at a local restaurant or invite her to a meal that you prepare with all of her favorite foods. Tell her that you want to do something special for her that she will appreciate and that you hope she will welcome it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)