DEAR HARRIETTE: I am having some work done on my house. I can’t stay there, so I am staying with a friend to save some money toward my home repairs. I appreciate my friend taking me in for a few weeks and not charging me rent for a room. I am trying to remain humble and thankful, but my friend’s home living conditions are outrageous. She constantly blasts music throughout the day and night. She has a ton of old food in her fridge and leaves it out on the counter. She doesn’t take out her garbage regularly in the bathrooms or kitchen, and the dishes are dirty and piled up. I have been cleaning up often to help her out and after myself, of course, but after a few days of her not cleaning up, it's a mess all over again. I do not know how she gets by when I am not there to clean up for her.

I do not feel it's my place to say anything. I want to pack my things and run to a hotel, but I just can't afford it. How can I make this arrangement more viable for myself? -- Stay-at-Home Maid

DEAR STAY-AT-HOME MAID: Maybe you can take this approach: Ask your friend if you can have a chat. Thank her again for allowing you to live with her. Then tell her that you have noticed that she needs some help to keep her home in order. Point out that you have been cleaning and are happy to continue while you are there, but that there are a few things she could do that would help. Suggest that she devote an hour a day working with you in her home.

I say this because she clearly doesn’t have the discipline. If you make it fun and focused, you may be able to teach her a few things that will help to get her on track. Maybe you can work and talk. She needs to get engaged for it to be possible for her to develop new patterns. Gently encourage her to work with you a little bit each day.

No matter what, as long as you live there, you will need to pull more than your weight. You have to be OK with that. It beats rent that you cannot afford.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend and I have been friends for more than 10 years. We have a great relationship, we are always there for each other, we respect each other's decisions and we can have fun with each other no matter what.

When I look at other girlfriend relationships, sometimes I see them fight and talk about each other and then make up and go right back like nothing has ever happened. I know people who said situations like that have made their friendship stronger and have brought them closer. My best friend and I have never gotten into a fight or had any strong disagreements that put us on bad terms.

Is it healthy to have a relationship with no conflict, or is it expected to have at least one big fight? Is our friendship as strong as I think it is? -- Power Buddies

DEAR POWER BUDDIES: Consider your relationship a blessing, and stop questioning it. You are two of the lucky ones!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Gyms have just reopened, and I have returned to my regular schedule of working out every morning and late evening. I am typically the first one in and the last one out most days. Often when I am there, I notice an older gentleman at the gym who uses the machines and never cleans them. Even before COVID, gym etiquette said you clean a machine before and after each use. I’ve told management about this individual not cleaning the machines, but I’m not sure they have really done anything about it. They don’t even instruct staff to clean the machines, either.

I am ready to switch gyms after learning that they aren’t taking care of cleanliness. This is an important time to follow protocols. If this gym isn’t going to hold its staff and members accountable, how can they safely remain open? Is there some bigger action I can take to get them to take this seriously? -- Active Member

DEAR ACTIVE MEMBER: Before leaving the gym, be more assertive with your complaints. Write a formal letter to management about cleanliness. Point out the violator again, as well as the fact that the staff is not actively cleaning machines regularly. Demand that they speak to this man and generally to the membership about vigilance in cleanliness. Put them on notice that you will report them to authorities if they don’t tighten up their act.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is no longer attracted to me. We are not intimate anymore. I’ve tried so many different things to get my husband to notice me. I have changed up my hair and wardrobe. I have even started taking gym classes to slim down. He never compliments me or any of my new changes. When he comes home from work, he turns down intimacy because he is tired. I even tried surprising him with a vacation to get him away from work so we can focus on each other and reconnect. He made me cancel the trip, making excuses about not being able to leave work now and not wanting to leave our kids and dog with our parents. I am at the end of the road here and don’t know how to get my husband to love me again. I feel so lonely. -- Single Wife

DEAR SINGLE WIFE: When is the last time your husband had a physical? It may be that he is suffering silently with some kind of health concern. Many men experience erectile dysfunction as they age. Could he be grappling with that and embarrassed to let you know? Or perhaps he has some other health condition that has diminished his libido. Have you ruled out the possibility that he has another lover? Finally, some people do lose their libidos over time.

Start with a doctor’s visit -- if you can get him to go -- to do a thorough health check. Then, if you can convince him, visit a therapist together to talk about your marriage and your ideas about intimacy. If he won’t see a therapist, try having a direct conversation with him about it. Tell him you miss being with him and want to find your way back to intimacy.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a business partner whom I want to buy out of our business. We integrated our two businesses because they went together hand in hand, and we were both able to offer the other a benefit. My business has been thriving since the partnership, but her business and programs have been plummeting. Enrollment is down, and I believe her increase in prices could be the cause of this. We have had meetings to plan ways to fix the drop in business, but she shoots down all of our ideas and suggestions.

This partnership isn’t working anymore. There is a lot of potential, but she is driving it into the ground. I know that the programs can improve, but my partner is the biggest obstacle. She is behind on rent, and money isn’t coming in. I am in a position where I can take on full ownership and buy her shares from her. She built the company 20 years ago, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings when I tell her this is her best and only option. How do I dump my partner? -- Reviving the Business

DEAR REVIVING THE BUSINESS: This is delicate territory. Do handle it with care. Sit down with your partner. Show her your books and point out the financial realities you're facing. Thank her for the time you have been partners and point out that the time has come for the relationship to change. Offer to buy her shares in a plan to liquidate the company. Give her space to think about it, express her emotions, etc. Ultimately, come up with a deadline to sever ties. Hire a lawyer to provide legal assistance.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. I made mistakes and came clean, but now she has left me. She’s been staying with her best friend, who happens to be the sister of my good friend at work. So now my girlfriend is under the same roof as my male co-worker.

Over the past few weeks, she has come to our workplace to drop off lunch for him. Seeing her with him gets me upset. He’s been bragging about how much she does for him and his sister and how happy he is to have her staying there. I’m sure they are both doing it to make me jealous, and I can’t take it anymore. At this point, I feel he is disrespecting me on purpose, but I don’t want to have a bad reaction at work. How do I tell my co-worker to knock it off with the comments and jokes about my girlfriend staying with him and his sister? -- Jealous Boyfriend

DEAR JEALOUS BOYFRIEND: The best way to handle this is to ignore this guy. If he sees that he is getting under your skin, he will likely continue and may even ramp up his shenanigans.

If you cannot keep your emotions in check, pull him aside. Remind him that he has been your good friend for a long time and that the way he is acting right now is not helpful as you are dealing with the end of a close relationship with your girlfriend. Ask him to keep his comments to himself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)