DEAR HARRIETTE: I went through my boyfriend’s phone when he was asleep because I felt like he was acting suspicious. I know my boyfriend, and this day he just wasn’t being himself. He would lean away from me with his phone and kept it out of sight from me as much as he could. He’s never done that before. So when I had a chance, I looked, expecting to see him doing something like buying expensive sneakers he didn’t want me to know about.
To my surprise, I found text messages that he had gone to the gym with one of his exes. I woke him up to confront him, and we argued to the point where I just left. He keeps calling me, but I don’t know what to think or feel. I won’t stand for him lying to me. Should I just leave now? -- Not Standing for It
DEAR NOT STANDING FOR IT: Your approach was extreme. Waking up your boyfriend to confront him about what appeared to be an indiscretion could only end in an argument. If you care about him, talk to him. Find out what’s going on. Let him state his case. Find out what he wants in your relationship. Decide what you want. You can get over an indiscretion if you both decide to work on it. Staying in a standoff will get you nothing. Talk it out and make a decision after that.