DEAR HARRIETTE: Thank you for your thoughtful message about 9/11, calling for harmony, peace and justice that is inclusive for all.

It brought strong feelings about that horrific event. I had lived in New Jersey for 30 years and was visiting friends there that week in 2001. The morning of 9/11, I drove down the Garden State Parkway to the home of longtime friends Doris and John, who lived in Middletown near the Jersey shore. I was oblivious to what was happening until I walked into their house and saw on their TV that the Twin Towers were on fire and heard the report that two different planes had crashed into the buildings. Obviously, it was a terror attack on the U.S.

I have just now finished talking on the phone with Doris, now age 96, about that day and our time together with her husband and another longtime friend, Ann, who had come from California to have a weekend together at the shore in Stone Harbor, near the tip of New Jersey. We recalled how stunned we were as we continued to watch the unfolding events in NYC, at the Pentagon and in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, on TV and how eerie it felt when we were in Stone Harbor to look north over the water toward New York and not see any planes in the air. When I flew home from Newark Airport to Tennessee the following Wednesday, there were armed police in the terminal and not many travelers. There were only 16 other passengers on the large jet with me. I was on the left side of the plane, so I got a brief view of downtown Manhattan and what was left of the Twin Towers as we took off from Newark. It was shocking to see the change in the skyline.

As you so aptly put it, the “pain of loss remains alive within us” not only because of all the lives that were lost and the suffering of families and of first responders who did so much to help, but because “the world as we knew it changed.”

Thank you, Harriette, for your Sense & Sensitivity column, which I read every day. You always provide practical advice in response to your readers that shows them how to stand up for themselves and also be respectful of others. Good job! -- Remembrance

DEAR REMEMBRANCE: I appreciate your letter along with others who have shared their memories of 9/11. I want to encourage all of us to think about how we live and what we can do as individuals to make our world a safer place. Sometimes when I talk to people, they feel like it’s not possible for one individual to make a difference. I challenge that notion. I believe that the way that we live our lives and how we treat others, especially during times of stress, can make all the difference in how people feel about each other and humanity.

Call me naive, but I firmly believe that if other people think that we value them and their needs and desires as we also value our own, we can create more unity in the world. I love and treasure our country, and I also value people from other parts of the world. I have traveled a lot and seen the struggles and triumphs that others experience. Seeing the ways in which others live has opened my eyes and helped me recognize how much privilege we enjoy in this country. I’m hoping that we all can open our eyes and see each other in our own country and from afar with greater compassion. Perhaps this is one way we can make our world safer and happier.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: Many of you wrote in about the man who was afraid to get a colonoscopy. I am sharing a few of your comments here. Thank you all for your caring and thoughtful comments.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I read your column today in the Bay Area News Group paper. Thank you for addressing the need for people over 50 to get colon cancer screenings and for your compassionate response.

A family member of mine waited too long to get tested. When that person finally did -- keeping in mind that one or two colon polyps can be of concern and definitely should be removed and tested for cancer -- they discovered a veritable forest of them. This person had to stay in surgery much longer than expected to try to save their life, go back again three months later to remove more, then again six months later, and finally again one year later. It worked ... they're alive today. But it was a very close call.

If people think their insurance doesn't cover the procedure, they need to ask. If the answer is that insurance doesn't, they can ask the doctor if it can be coded differently so their insurance will cover it. Or they can switch to a doctor who will, or change insurance providers so it can be. There are always options. You're right -- people are worth it.

The news of Chadwick Boseman's unexpected passing was devastating. I believe because of tragedies like these, medical professionals are starting to advocate for earlier testing, and insurance companies are starting to listen. Again, thank you for encouraging people to get tested.

DEAR SCARED (The man who originally wrote in): I was similar to you, a single male in my mid-50s. I finally gave in to my doctor and got a colonoscopy (which was fully covered by my insurance -- you or the doctor's office can check this beforehand).

The worst part is the prep ... and it's not all that bad, really! A few uncomfortable times in the bathroom, and drinking some horrible-tasting liquid. The procedure itself is a breeze. A small IV, and you go to sleep and wake up with minimal grogginess.

I was glad I did it, because they found a 4-cm polyp, and I had robotic-assisted surgery two weeks later, in which they removed an 8-inch section of small and large intestine (my appendix would have been gone if it hadn't already been removed 18 years before). Luckily, the biopsy results were great, only pre-cancerous inside the polyp itself. I just had a second colonoscopy (a year later), and everything was good. Please don't put off this procedure. It could save your life. -- Glad I Did It

DEAR HARRIETTE: Your response to “Scared” in your column today was incomplete and misleading. Since he is over 50, he surely should have a colon cancer screening, but you did him a disservice by recommending only one possible option (colonoscopy), which he had already rejected because of fear.

Here are the relevant medical guidelines: www.cdc.gov/cancer/colorectal/basic_info/screening/index.htm

Appropriate options for colon cancer screening include stool FIT tests, sigmoidoscopy and colonoscopy. A strategy using stool FIT tests is simple, sensitive and noninvasive. It would be an excellent option for someone who fears colonoscopy and whose insurance may not cover the substantial cost.

The most effective colon cancer screening is one that actually gets done. Someone who is afraid of colonoscopy should be encouraged to proceed with one of the alternative options rather than be told that they must have a test that they fear. -- Doc

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I just moved in together about three months ago with each of our dogs. We have brought our dogs together for playdates before, and they were always playful. Since we have moved in, and they are together all the time, they are fighting and terrorizing our household. We have tried to keep them separate, but it's becoming an inconvenient task to make sure they never see or hear each other, which is quite impossible. They bark and go after each other every chance they get. My boyfriend seems to think we have to get rid of one of the dogs, but how do we begin to even make that decision? I know I do not want to give away my dog and I couldn't expect him to either. Where do we go from here? -- Feuding Dogs

DEAR FEUDING DOGS: I recommend that you two invest in a dog trainer who can take your dogs for a period of time and help them to get acclimated to each other. Trainers can often teach dogs how to behave in a way that can be challenging for owners. The trainer can also come to your home and work with the dogs there to see if you can reach peace in the household.

As far as letting one of your dogs go, that is virtually an impossible decision, certainly not one that I can make for you. If you end up believing that your household cannot survive both dogs together, you may need to find homes for both of them and start over again. Obviously, that would require very carefully finding the right home for each, so that they can prosper. Consider that a last resort.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an assistant manager at my store, with only two other associates. We do not have a store manager at the moment, so it is just us three. One of my co-workers does not respect my role in our store. While working the floor, he tells people that he's "basically" a manager because he handles things when I am not around. When I am around, he constantly makes the wrong decisions and repeats the same mistakes. When he digs himself into a hole that he cannot fix because he doesn't have proper credentials and his customer is now angry, he has to interrupt my customer and me to mend the relationship with his customer and compensate them for the confusion. This co-worker doesn't listen to my directions when I train or correct him. I am at my limit with this employee. I don't know what actions to take or how to inform my district manager. Any suggestions? -- Fed Up

DEAR FED UP: In your engagement with this employee, take the educational approach. Remind him of how you work with customers. Point out that when he has a problem, he must be discreet when he brings it to you, especially if you are working with another customer. Do your best to teach him even if he doesn't want to learn.

When you do get a new manager, privately mention your concerns. Ask for help in being able to do your job and guide this employee. Approach the situation clearly and matter-of-factly. Be strong in your role as assistant manager and ask your manager to help you with solutions. This shows your desire to cultivate your leadership skills.

If you get resistance from your manager, only then lodge your complaint with the district manager, making it clear that you are looking for guidance and are not trying to be a tattletale.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)