DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have begun to struggle with our bills after unemployment was cut back. My job is still closed, and my boyfriend is unemployed. To bring in extra money, I decided to create a private fan page where I share exclusive photos and videos of myself. My boyfriend knows about it and is not happy. He wants me to stop. I have a huge and still-growing following on my page, and it is bringing in a lot more money. I am finally, for once, getting ahead in my bills and able to get more things done. My boyfriend wants me to shut it down. I do not want to. He is threatening to leave me. Should I close my biggest moneymaker app or let him go? -- Moneymaker

DEAR MONEYMAKER: I understand both sides on this one, and it is tough. While it is not a new concept for women, in particular, to use their bodies to make money, it can be difficult for a partner to be OK with it. There are so many issues attached to this -- from your personal safety to shared values to the bottom line.

You two need to talk through everything. In order to survive this moment, you have to get on the same page as it relates to your values. Talk about what's important to you, what you can handle and what you can't. Talk long-term and short-term. Given that you two are in dire straits right now, perhaps you can create a timeline for how long you will do these postings, so that you can keep your home and put food on the table. Talk about strategies for finding work.

Also, know that if a potential employer discovers what you are doing, it could compromise your ability to get that work. Most jobs have ethical guidelines that they follow, and suggestive and/or sexual content is typically not on the accepted list of activities.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I lent my car to my sister so she could take one of her friends out to celebrate their birthday. I have one of those older cars that you have to know how to drive it and it works fine. My brakes sometimes need a little more pressure than average. I told her this before giving her my keys. She ended up getting in a fender bender. She's not on my insurance, and I told her I expect her to pay for the damages. She claims that I put her in a dangerous vehicle and that she shouldn't have to pay for the damages because it is my fault that my car is not drivable. I made her aware and she still took the car and now doesn't want to be held responsible. Am in the wrong? Or should she pay for the damages? -- Loose Brakes

LOOSE BRAKES: You are at fault for letting your sister drive a car when she wasn't protected by your insurance, regardless of the state of the car. Your sister is ethically responsible, as she drove the car and is the one who had the accident. Of course she should pay for the damages. It may be hard for you to enforce, though. Ultimately, you have to take care of it, but you should make it clear to your sister that she is responsible. She knows it. Do your best not to let her get away with it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that an old family friend has come down with prostate cancer. He said he has to have surgery and probably chemotherapy and radiation. He didn't look very good and he was definitely upset when he told me. I learned from his wife that he hadn't gone to the doctor for a long time after he was feeling poorly. She was furious with him. I totally understand how frustrating it sounded, and I am in the same boat in a way. My husband doesn't believe in going to the doctor. He takes herbs and vitamins and exercises a lot, but he is of a certain age and hasn't had a physical in years. Recently, he has had some urinary problems, and I need him to get checked out. I don't want him to wait and then if he does have a problem it's too late to deal with it. How can I get him to get a checkup? -- Go to the Doctor

DEAR GO TO THE DOCTOR: Use the "scared straight" tactic. Tell your husband everything you know about your friend who was just diagnosed, including that he took forever to go see a doctor. Explain that there are many conditions that can be treated successfully if caught early enough. Suggest a complete physical as a way to determine his overall health. If anything needs to be addressed, chances are that one physical will help to figure that out. Offer to set up the appointment and go with him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was in a high-level meeting the other day and made a critical observation of one of the top executives. Turns out that my comment fell flat, in part, because one of the people in the room is very close to the person I criticized. What I said was true, but I fear that it will come back to bite me. How can I smooth things over? I don't want to lie about anything, but I do want to maintain a positive working relationship with the whole team, especially those at the top. -- Foot in Mouth

DEAR FOOT IN MOUTH: If you have any relationship with the executive you criticized, start there. Go directly to that person and admit that you said something that might have ruffled a few feathers. Tell the person what you said and what you meant in the most constructive way possible. At least it won't be a surprise when the other person likely doubles back to report on what you said.

In the future, reserve criticism of executives and others to private meetings. Even then, be constructive. When you have comments that may seem sharp or judgmental, package them in such a way that they have solutions attached to them. When you can see a way out of a potential problem or conflict with a person, frame it that way. It may soften the criticism without losing the impact of your thoughts. `

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a "friend" who watches everything that's going on. I noticed how she was checking me and my husband out all summer. When we would have an argument, she was there, generally being supportive of us, but it was a little weird. She began to anticipate what our issues were and to say things about us, never to criticize us, but it did feel a little creepy because she just seemed to be paying too close of attention to us. We were around each other a lot, because we live in the same area during the summer. I'm not quite sure what to make of her behavior. She is single, but still, why was she checking us out so hard? Should I ask her? -- Crossing the Line

DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: Given that you didn't say anything to this woman in the moment when you noticed her observing you so keenly, my vote is for you to leave it alone. Clearly you two were interesting to her, and she enjoyed observing you. Thank goodness she did not try to stir up arguments or discontent. It sounds like she was solo during your time together, so being able to observe your dynamics fascinated her.

I think you should let it go. If you connect again, that's when you can try to set some ground rules. Pull her to the side and tell her you noticed how much she was watching you and your husband, and you would like to establish a bit of distance this time. It may be awkward at first, but you can reinforce it by stopping her when she begins to state her observations about you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family and I went on a weeklong vacation this summer to the country. We had a great time together just relaxing, mainly. That is, everyone except for me. I resent the fact that I ended up cooking, cleaning, food shopping and otherwise taking care of my husband and teenage children, with very little help from them. I did ask, make rules and otherwise attempt to get them to comply, but for the most part, they blew me off. Like the dishes would get washed a day after the meal was consumed. Or the clothes would pile up in the laundry, and nobody cared to turn on the washing machine. I would end up yelling to get anything done. I hated that. I want my family to know how ungrateful I think they were for taking advantage of me like that -- without sounding whiny. Please help. -- Teamwork

DEAR TEAMWORK: I'm sorry your family took advantage of you. Sounds like they took the notion of vacation to heart without thinking about how their comforts were being maintained. You can have a vacation debrief conversation.

Gather your family. Ask each of them to describe what they loved the most about the vacation and what they liked the least. You do the same. Pick something that made you happy, and then tell them how disappointed you were that they didn't pitch in to help with home maintenance. Point out how this made you more like their servant than mom. Tell them you want things to be more equitable at home and on subsequent vacations.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)