DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a "friend" who watches everything that's going on. I noticed how she was checking me and my husband out all summer. When we would have an argument, she was there, generally being supportive of us, but it was a little weird. She began to anticipate what our issues were and to say things about us, never to criticize us, but it did feel a little creepy because she just seemed to be paying too close of attention to us. We were around each other a lot, because we live in the same area during the summer. I'm not quite sure what to make of her behavior. She is single, but still, why was she checking us out so hard? Should I ask her? -- Crossing the Line

DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: Given that you didn't say anything to this woman in the moment when you noticed her observing you so keenly, my vote is for you to leave it alone. Clearly you two were interesting to her, and she enjoyed observing you. Thank goodness she did not try to stir up arguments or discontent. It sounds like she was solo during your time together, so being able to observe your dynamics fascinated her.

I think you should let it go. If you connect again, that's when you can try to set some ground rules. Pull her to the side and tell her you noticed how much she was watching you and your husband, and you would like to establish a bit of distance this time. It may be awkward at first, but you can reinforce it by stopping her when she begins to state her observations about you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family and I went on a weeklong vacation this summer to the country. We had a great time together just relaxing, mainly. That is, everyone except for me. I resent the fact that I ended up cooking, cleaning, food shopping and otherwise taking care of my husband and teenage children, with very little help from them. I did ask, make rules and otherwise attempt to get them to comply, but for the most part, they blew me off. Like the dishes would get washed a day after the meal was consumed. Or the clothes would pile up in the laundry, and nobody cared to turn on the washing machine. I would end up yelling to get anything done. I hated that. I want my family to know how ungrateful I think they were for taking advantage of me like that -- without sounding whiny. Please help. -- Teamwork

DEAR TEAMWORK: I'm sorry your family took advantage of you. Sounds like they took the notion of vacation to heart without thinking about how their comforts were being maintained. You can have a vacation debrief conversation.

Gather your family. Ask each of them to describe what they loved the most about the vacation and what they liked the least. You do the same. Pick something that made you happy, and then tell them how disappointed you were that they didn't pitch in to help with home maintenance. Point out how this made you more like their servant than mom. Tell them you want things to be more equitable at home and on subsequent vacations.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have gotten into serious arguments with my neighbors and friends about the upcoming election. It has gotten so bad that I wonder if we can survive it. My thing is I am not trying to make you vote the way I plan to vote -- although, of course, I would like that. My thing is I want everybody to register to vote and then to make it their business to vote on Election Day. It seems like such a fundamental thing, and yet there are so many apathetic people out there. I just don't understand it. Here is the one thing that all of us can do to have a personal impact on the future of our country. Why would anyone want to throw that away? My friends say it doesn't matter and their vote isn't going to make a difference anyway. How can I get them to understand that that is not true? -- Right to Vote

DEAR RIGHT TO VOTE: Your friends may not like this, but I would start with a history lesson. The right to vote is a privilege that is not and was not originally guaranteed. It took women and blacks many years to be able to claim the right to vote. Even now, in some areas, minorities are challenged due to gerrymandering, lack of polling stations and staff. It literally took blood, sweat, tears and litigation to earn the right to vote.

Many elections have been decided on the smallest number of votes -- individual votes cast for a candidate. Assure them that their vote counts for president and all of the other offices on the ballot -- roles that directly affect their lives. Ask them if they want to have any meaningful control over the quality of their lives. If so, they should cast their ballot.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I spent time this summer with a group of people who were already friends. Mostly it was fun, but I never quite felt like I belonged, so to speak. I hosted a few gatherings and people came, but then I learned that there were other gatherings that some of them hosted that they didn't invite me to. I think I am being too sensitive, but I did notice that I was never fully included in the fold. I also think I may have tried to dive in too deep with them. I have other friends, but since it was COVID time, I didn't want to add any extra people to the mix. Right now, I'm feeling a little uncomfortable about my place in this group. Should I just let it go? I did have a good summer, and they were nice to me. -- Out of Place

DEAR OUT OF PLACE: This summer was strange for most of us. Because of the pandemic, people were not able to move as freely as in the past. Many people remained completely isolated from others. The good news is that you did get a chance to socialize a bit. Given that you were with new people, it makes sense that you might feel a little less close to them. Further, it could be natural that there would be subsets of gatherings, some of which were not for you. Due to COVID-19 they may have organized smaller gatherings, or the core group may have gotten together on their own.

Don't overthink it. Be grateful for the good times you had and move on. Look for opportunities to connect with your own core friend group -- virtually or in person while social distancing. Evaluate who you want to be around and make that your mission.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on a date with a guy that a mutual friend of ours had set me up with. We had a good time. Everything went as planned until I got home and realized that I had left my cellphone in the Uber with him. I was dropped off first, so I tried calling my phone to see if the driver would circle back after dropping off my date. My cellphone was never answered, so I contacted Uber and met up with the driver, but the phone was nowhere to be found. By that point, I had traced it to an address across town. The driver confirmed that is where he had dropped off the guy I was with. I went there and tried to ring my phone, and it was then shut off.

I contacted my friend about my cellphone, but my date swore that he did not have it and that the driver must have stolen it. The problem with that is that I used GPS to locate my phone, and my friend even confirmed that it was my date's address. I know that he took my phone but just won’t admit it. I’m nervous that this guy is intending to stalk me with my cellphone. My phone will be erased the next time it is turned on. I contacted the police, but they could not do anything. What can I do? I feel concerned about my safety. Am I jumping to conclusions? Maybe he didn’t take it, but what other explanation is there? -- Lost Phone

DEAR LOST PHONE: Let your mutual friend know that you are disappointed and a bit nervous about what happened to your phone. Make it clear that you know your phone was last in your date's possession. Then move on. You can’t prove anything, so don’t allow this to keep you riled up. Just watch your back.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working toward a promotion for the past few months. I have worked in this higher position temporarily on different occasions. Corporate has reached out to me about taking the promotion permanently, but it just hasn’t happened. Every time they need me to fill in this role temporarily, there is no pay raise.

I feel that they have been dragging out the situation for as long as they can to have the job filled without having to commit to giving me the position, which would require the pay raise. I have been with the company for about seven years now and have been waiting two years for this promotion. What else can I do to put my foot down professionally about taking on the responsibility from time to time and never being rewarded? -- Enough Is Enough

DEAR ENOUGH IS ENOUGH: Talk to your supervisor. State how much you enjoy the job that you are regularly invited to fill and that you believe it is time for you to formally fill the role. Ask for the promotion now. Point out that corporate did reach out to you about taking the job permanently but nobody has followed up. Since you are once again being invited to do the job, you would like the company to acknowledge you by making it official. Make it clear that you are ready.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)