DEAR HARRIETTE: After hearing about "Black Panther" Chadwick Boseman’s untimely death due to colon cancer -- at such a young age -- I’m kind of freaked out. I’m in my 50s, and I have never had a colonoscopy. I was afraid of the test since you have to be anesthetized. Plus, I don’t think my insurance covers it. I’m a pretty healthy guy, so I didn’t think much of it -- until now. If somebody who looks so healthy could succumb to this disease, I think I need to get tested. But part of me is too scared to do it. What if I am sick? I am a single dude. I don’t have the support system to deal with an illness. Maybe I should just leave well enough alone. -- Scared

DEAR SCARED: Don’t let your fear paralyze you. Colon cancer can often be successfully treated if you catch it early. Let Boseman’s untimely death serve as a wake-up call to you to get tested. You should have a complete physical and a colonoscopy to learn the status of your entire body. Please know that your fear is normal, especially after learning of this young man’s passing. But let it motivate you, not stymie you. You are worth it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Being quarantined at home with my husband all these months has been tough. I hear other couples talk about how great it is to be with their best friend and how much they have enjoyed each other. That is not the case for me. Don’t get me wrong. Some days have been good, but plenty of others have not. My husband picks at me constantly. Anything I do or say wrong, he immediately pounces on. I always have my back up a little so that if he throws some kind of verbal attack, I won’t be too wounded by what he says. I don’t mean to sound like a drama queen, but it’s hard to have somebody criticize you all day long. What can I do to handle this better? -- Verbal Attacks

DEAR VERBAL ATTACKS: This long stretch of isolation has been difficult for all of us, especially those in abusive relationships. In order to maintain your personal peace of mind and safety, you need to handle this situation differently.

First, think about where you might be able to go if you truly cannot take it anymore. Do you have a friend or family member you can stay with if needed? If not, you can find a shelter that may provide you temporary safety. Check out www.domesticshelters.org.

Before leaving home, consider responding to your husband differently. When he says hurtful things, tell him how his words make you feel. Ask him to speak to you in a kinder way. Or tell him you can’t hear him when he’s yelling or complaining. Tell him you have to leave the room and maybe you two can talk when things aren’t so heated.

Seek out a therapist. Now you can even get one on the phone, though in most states doctors' offices are open. Going outside to a therapist’s visit may be helpful for you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an assistant, and my boss is a mess. He always tries to do everything and multitask; meanwhile, he mixes up details and is forgetful. He hired me to help him keep his business in order, but he makes that difficult for me. He will give me tasks to complete, but if there are any approvals I need, he takes a long time to give them. During our meetings, he does not listen to me and always seems to be doing something else. When I come across some information that he has not informed me of, he tells me he will handle it. Then, when there are things that are wrong or he has forgotten to do something, he tells me that it is my fault and that I am not working hard enough. He is not approachable. He can never admit he is wrong, so I get blamed. My boss’s behavior is our biggest challenge in the workday. What can I do? -- Taken for Granted

DEAR TAKEN FOR GRANTED: Your job, if you choose to remain working for this man, is to create a system that he will consider following to make his life easier. Perhaps you can design a schedule that recommends times when you will handle scheduling questions, approvals, research -- whatever the tasks at hand are. Create a checklist that you both can follow, but you actively check things off and send the list to him daily to show him what has been accomplished.

Set alarms for deadlines so that you can remind him (and yourself) far enough in advance so that nobody is late. Tell him what you are doing so that he can grow to expect it, such as a reminder 10 minutes before a meeting or a project deadline.

Request weekly meetings to review progress. Be organized and succinct so that you have a chance of getting him to pay attention.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My co-worker doesn’t work. She talks a lot and does not have any boundaries. We both are receptionists at a car dealership, and at least one of us is required to be at the front desk at all times, which is usually me. She walks around the workplace a lot and will stop at other people’s desks to chat. She will go off to use her phone often, and when she’s at the desk, she is not quick to pick up the ringing phones, which means I answer almost every call that comes in. I don’t mind the work at all -- I can actually handle things all on my own, as I always have -- but I don’t find it fair that she gets a free pass to come in and hang out at work. Should I say something to her or bring the matter up to my supervisor, or should I say nothing at all? -- Does It All

DEAR DOES IT ALL: Start with your co-worker. Tell her that you would appreciate her help in answering the phones and doing all of the necessary requirements of the job. Be blunt. Tell her that you have noticed that she often is not at her desk and that she leaves much of the work to you. Ask her to do her part. If she balks, speak to your manager.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: It has been 19 years since that fateful day when the world as we know it changed. We all remember where we were and what we were doing when we got wind of the planes flying into the World Trade Center and subsequently other buildings. Many of us lost family members and loved ones. The pain of loss remains alive within us.

And this year, thanks to COVID-19, the commemorative events that have historically occurred to acknowledge this tragedy will not be occurring -- not in full, anyway -- for safety’s sake. And yet, we remember and we mourn.

Every life is precious. And the fact that we lost several thousand souls during that harrowing day gives us pause -- not just for them, but for what it symbolized: Our belief that our country was safe from international terrorism was stripped away.

Since that time, in many ways, we as a nation have been exploring how we can find and cultivate a refreshed degree of harmony and peace in our world -- both on our shores and abroad. In this moment, we are standing at yet a new crossroads, where the cries for racial justice resound loudly as Americans of all backgrounds band together in a call for peace, dignity and humanity for all.

No matter what your political beliefs may be, I would like to think that all of us want our country, our neighborhoods, our homes and our families to be safe. We want to be able to walk down the street, exercise, go to work and enjoy each other’s company without fear of disease or violence.

And yet, we are plagued at this moment with those threats and more. It is incumbent upon us to face our challenges and figure out ways to work together so that we can walk toward freedom, safety and justice for all. Think about it: It cannot be that the remembrances that we stage each year for the fallen of 9/11 only hold onto that aftermath of peace for a moment. It cannot be that we feel stuck in a loop that doesn’t allow us to reach for justice that can be inclusive of all.

I do not accept that it will be only in retrospective moments that we can claim some measure of solace for our loved ones. I want all of us to recall the past and claim the best for our futures. We are a powerful nation, brimming with some of the best minds and hearts in this world. We have the capability to transform the ways in which we engage each other -- in times of conflict and in peace. Let us recall this grave day in history, 9/11, with new resolve for the future. With eyes wide open, let us commit to treating each other better -- here on our shores and worldwide -- because when we do that, we inspire peace among us all.

I offer my love and blessings to everyone during this time of remembrance. I offer my commitment to making those lives lost count as we work to ensure that those who are alive today will be able to safely thrive in the future.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)