DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an assistant, and my boss is a mess. He always tries to do everything and multitask; meanwhile, he mixes up details and is forgetful. He hired me to help him keep his business in order, but he makes that difficult for me. He will give me tasks to complete, but if there are any approvals I need, he takes a long time to give them. During our meetings, he does not listen to me and always seems to be doing something else. When I come across some information that he has not informed me of, he tells me he will handle it. Then, when there are things that are wrong or he has forgotten to do something, he tells me that it is my fault and that I am not working hard enough. He is not approachable. He can never admit he is wrong, so I get blamed. My boss’s behavior is our biggest challenge in the workday. What can I do? -- Taken for Granted

DEAR TAKEN FOR GRANTED: Your job, if you choose to remain working for this man, is to create a system that he will consider following to make his life easier. Perhaps you can design a schedule that recommends times when you will handle scheduling questions, approvals, research -- whatever the tasks at hand are. Create a checklist that you both can follow, but you actively check things off and send the list to him daily to show him what has been accomplished.

Set alarms for deadlines so that you can remind him (and yourself) far enough in advance so that nobody is late. Tell him what you are doing so that he can grow to expect it, such as a reminder 10 minutes before a meeting or a project deadline.

Request weekly meetings to review progress. Be organized and succinct so that you have a chance of getting him to pay attention.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My co-worker doesn’t work. She talks a lot and does not have any boundaries. We both are receptionists at a car dealership, and at least one of us is required to be at the front desk at all times, which is usually me. She walks around the workplace a lot and will stop at other people’s desks to chat. She will go off to use her phone often, and when she’s at the desk, she is not quick to pick up the ringing phones, which means I answer almost every call that comes in. I don’t mind the work at all -- I can actually handle things all on my own, as I always have -- but I don’t find it fair that she gets a free pass to come in and hang out at work. Should I say something to her or bring the matter up to my supervisor, or should I say nothing at all? -- Does It All

DEAR DOES IT ALL: Start with your co-worker. Tell her that you would appreciate her help in answering the phones and doing all of the necessary requirements of the job. Be blunt. Tell her that you have noticed that she often is not at her desk and that she leaves much of the work to you. Ask her to do her part. If she balks, speak to your manager.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: It has been 19 years since that fateful day when the world as we know it changed. We all remember where we were and what we were doing when we got wind of the planes flying into the World Trade Center and subsequently other buildings. Many of us lost family members and loved ones. The pain of loss remains alive within us.

And this year, thanks to COVID-19, the commemorative events that have historically occurred to acknowledge this tragedy will not be occurring -- not in full, anyway -- for safety’s sake. And yet, we remember and we mourn.

Every life is precious. And the fact that we lost several thousand souls during that harrowing day gives us pause -- not just for them, but for what it symbolized: Our belief that our country was safe from international terrorism was stripped away.

Since that time, in many ways, we as a nation have been exploring how we can find and cultivate a refreshed degree of harmony and peace in our world -- both on our shores and abroad. In this moment, we are standing at yet a new crossroads, where the cries for racial justice resound loudly as Americans of all backgrounds band together in a call for peace, dignity and humanity for all.

No matter what your political beliefs may be, I would like to think that all of us want our country, our neighborhoods, our homes and our families to be safe. We want to be able to walk down the street, exercise, go to work and enjoy each other’s company without fear of disease or violence.

And yet, we are plagued at this moment with those threats and more. It is incumbent upon us to face our challenges and figure out ways to work together so that we can walk toward freedom, safety and justice for all. Think about it: It cannot be that the remembrances that we stage each year for the fallen of 9/11 only hold onto that aftermath of peace for a moment. It cannot be that we feel stuck in a loop that doesn’t allow us to reach for justice that can be inclusive of all.

I do not accept that it will be only in retrospective moments that we can claim some measure of solace for our loved ones. I want all of us to recall the past and claim the best for our futures. We are a powerful nation, brimming with some of the best minds and hearts in this world. We have the capability to transform the ways in which we engage each other -- in times of conflict and in peace. Let us recall this grave day in history, 9/11, with new resolve for the future. With eyes wide open, let us commit to treating each other better -- here on our shores and worldwide -- because when we do that, we inspire peace among us all.

I offer my love and blessings to everyone during this time of remembrance. I offer my commitment to making those lives lost count as we work to ensure that those who are alive today will be able to safely thrive in the future.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just settled down in a serious relationship. This is the first woman I have ever felt this way about, and we are talking about marriage. Last week while using my social media, she found some old messages of me flirting with other women back when we first started dating. I tried to explain to her that that was the past and I didn’t feel the way that I feel now. I swore that I would never do that ever again and that I was serious about our future. She has not been returning my calls, and I am not prepared for our relationship to be over. What can I do to prove to her that I am committed to her and ready for the next step in our relationship? -- Sincere and Apologetic

DEAR SINCERE AND APOLOGETIC: If you are serious enough about this woman that you want to marry her, don’t give up now. Why not write her a letter expressing your love and commitment to her? Tell her that when you first started dating, you were not yet exclusive. You would not invite her to use your social media if you had anything to hide. Yes, you dated before. In fact, before meeting her, you never felt that you wanted to settle down. Admit that this is new for you. All you know is that you want to spend your life with her. Ask her to give you a chance to talk through your life before you met her, your ideas for the future and your hopes for the two of you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in New York City. At the top of my street, there is a city police officer crossing guard during most business hours. I go for a walk every morning, and on most occasions I find this particular crossing guard not doing what I would imagine he is there to do: directing traffic. Most days he is standing in the intersection as cars block the streets and honk at each other. He even goes so far as to use his phone while in traffic sometimes. He is not there every day, but I can always tell when he is on duty because this officer does not help. I wonder if I should reach out to the precinct to make a complaint or if it matters at all. Traffic cops may not seem important, but living in New York City, some might agree on how they can be helpful when enforcing laws. -- City Neighbor

DEAR CITY NEIGHBOR: For point of clarity, I wonder if this person is a crossing guard or a transit officer. Those are very different roles. Crossing guards typically work when students are in school, helping to ensure that children -- and others -- can safely cross the street. These people absolutely should be attentive to traffic and children. They should never be using their phones. They are not, however, on post to direct traffic.

Traffic cops serve that purpose. They are assigned to help with traffic flow when necessary. Typically, they are placed at intersections where there are flow challenges.

In either case, you can bring your concerns to the attention of your precinct. Just be clear on who the person is, what his role is and what you think he is doing wrong. Get video if you can to be able to document your concerns.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)