DEAR READERS: It has been 19 years since that fateful day when the world as we know it changed. We all remember where we were and what we were doing when we got wind of the planes flying into the World Trade Center and subsequently other buildings. Many of us lost family members and loved ones. The pain of loss remains alive within us.

And this year, thanks to COVID-19, the commemorative events that have historically occurred to acknowledge this tragedy will not be occurring -- not in full, anyway -- for safety’s sake. And yet, we remember and we mourn.

Every life is precious. And the fact that we lost several thousand souls during that harrowing day gives us pause -- not just for them, but for what it symbolized: Our belief that our country was safe from international terrorism was stripped away.

Since that time, in many ways, we as a nation have been exploring how we can find and cultivate a refreshed degree of harmony and peace in our world -- both on our shores and abroad. In this moment, we are standing at yet a new crossroads, where the cries for racial justice resound loudly as Americans of all backgrounds band together in a call for peace, dignity and humanity for all.

No matter what your political beliefs may be, I would like to think that all of us want our country, our neighborhoods, our homes and our families to be safe. We want to be able to walk down the street, exercise, go to work and enjoy each other’s company without fear of disease or violence.

And yet, we are plagued at this moment with those threats and more. It is incumbent upon us to face our challenges and figure out ways to work together so that we can walk toward freedom, safety and justice for all. Think about it: It cannot be that the remembrances that we stage each year for the fallen of 9/11 only hold onto that aftermath of peace for a moment. It cannot be that we feel stuck in a loop that doesn’t allow us to reach for justice that can be inclusive of all.

I do not accept that it will be only in retrospective moments that we can claim some measure of solace for our loved ones. I want all of us to recall the past and claim the best for our futures. We are a powerful nation, brimming with some of the best minds and hearts in this world. We have the capability to transform the ways in which we engage each other -- in times of conflict and in peace. Let us recall this grave day in history, 9/11, with new resolve for the future. With eyes wide open, let us commit to treating each other better -- here on our shores and worldwide -- because when we do that, we inspire peace among us all.

I offer my love and blessings to everyone during this time of remembrance. I offer my commitment to making those lives lost count as we work to ensure that those who are alive today will be able to safely thrive in the future.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just settled down in a serious relationship. This is the first woman I have ever felt this way about, and we are talking about marriage. Last week while using my social media, she found some old messages of me flirting with other women back when we first started dating. I tried to explain to her that that was the past and I didn’t feel the way that I feel now. I swore that I would never do that ever again and that I was serious about our future. She has not been returning my calls, and I am not prepared for our relationship to be over. What can I do to prove to her that I am committed to her and ready for the next step in our relationship? -- Sincere and Apologetic

DEAR SINCERE AND APOLOGETIC: If you are serious enough about this woman that you want to marry her, don’t give up now. Why not write her a letter expressing your love and commitment to her? Tell her that when you first started dating, you were not yet exclusive. You would not invite her to use your social media if you had anything to hide. Yes, you dated before. In fact, before meeting her, you never felt that you wanted to settle down. Admit that this is new for you. All you know is that you want to spend your life with her. Ask her to give you a chance to talk through your life before you met her, your ideas for the future and your hopes for the two of you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in New York City. At the top of my street, there is a city police officer crossing guard during most business hours. I go for a walk every morning, and on most occasions I find this particular crossing guard not doing what I would imagine he is there to do: directing traffic. Most days he is standing in the intersection as cars block the streets and honk at each other. He even goes so far as to use his phone while in traffic sometimes. He is not there every day, but I can always tell when he is on duty because this officer does not help. I wonder if I should reach out to the precinct to make a complaint or if it matters at all. Traffic cops may not seem important, but living in New York City, some might agree on how they can be helpful when enforcing laws. -- City Neighbor

DEAR CITY NEIGHBOR: For point of clarity, I wonder if this person is a crossing guard or a transit officer. Those are very different roles. Crossing guards typically work when students are in school, helping to ensure that children -- and others -- can safely cross the street. These people absolutely should be attentive to traffic and children. They should never be using their phones. They are not, however, on post to direct traffic.

Traffic cops serve that purpose. They are assigned to help with traffic flow when necessary. Typically, they are placed at intersections where there are flow challenges.

In either case, you can bring your concerns to the attention of your precinct. Just be clear on who the person is, what his role is and what you think he is doing wrong. Get video if you can to be able to document your concerns.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A small group of my friends and I recently got together for one of their birthdays at her apartment. I knew almost everyone there besides a few significant others who attended.

I kept my personal belongings in my friend’s bedroom during the party. When I gathered my things to leave, I noticed my purse kept popping open and wouldn’t close, but I paid it no mind. When I returned home and went through my purse, I realized that my wallet was sitting in my purse upside down. When I opened it, all of my cash was gone. I know how much I had in cash because I had counted it after leaving a nail appointment earlier that day. I called my friend to let her know what happened, and she was alarmed and concerned. We speculated who could have done this, but the only people who went in her room were her, her boyfriend and me. They both swear that they did not steal from me, but there’s no way for me to know if it was one of them or if we missed someone else going into her bedroom. Ever since, I have been uncomfortable being her friend; I have tried not to blame her, but it is that feeling of uncertainty that I cannot seem to move past. How do we continue a friendship when I no longer feel a bond of trust? -- Violated Friend

DEAR VIOLATED FRIEND: You need to trust that your friend is telling the truth. Though you didn’t see anyone else go in the room, it’s likely that some other person at the party was the culprit.

This is a tough situation because many of us put our bags down when among friends. It can seem awkward to hold onto your purse when in the company of close friends. In the future, you may want to hang your bag on your chair or keep it close to you, rather than in another room.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve just received two job offers for the same position, same pay and equal commute. I’m not sure how to decide which company to choose. I am more than qualified for both jobs, but these companies are paying fairly lower than average for this type of job. I’ve considered looking for a higher-paying job, but they all require a longer commute. I feel that I will take my chances to negotiate for higher pay for the positions offered and accept whichever is best. I haven’t done this before and don’t know how to approach the hiring manager. I know my worth, and I know what this job entails, so I think that they should be willing to offer more pay. How do I express this in a professional manner? -- Raising the Bar

DEAR RAISING THE BAR: Given that both jobs offered the same lower wage for the same job, it could be that the rate for that position has decreased, at least in your area. So tread lightly. Choose which company you would prefer if you had to choose. Then go to the other company and tell them that you received two offers and are interested -- but only if they will make a higher bid. If they come back with a sweeter deal, go to your favorite and do the same. Why I suggest holding out on your preferred company is that this plan could backfire. If the other company walks away, you will still have a company that welcomes you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)