DEAR HARRIETTE: A small group of my friends and I recently got together for one of their birthdays at her apartment. I knew almost everyone there besides a few significant others who attended.

I kept my personal belongings in my friend’s bedroom during the party. When I gathered my things to leave, I noticed my purse kept popping open and wouldn’t close, but I paid it no mind. When I returned home and went through my purse, I realized that my wallet was sitting in my purse upside down. When I opened it, all of my cash was gone. I know how much I had in cash because I had counted it after leaving a nail appointment earlier that day. I called my friend to let her know what happened, and she was alarmed and concerned. We speculated who could have done this, but the only people who went in her room were her, her boyfriend and me. They both swear that they did not steal from me, but there’s no way for me to know if it was one of them or if we missed someone else going into her bedroom. Ever since, I have been uncomfortable being her friend; I have tried not to blame her, but it is that feeling of uncertainty that I cannot seem to move past. How do we continue a friendship when I no longer feel a bond of trust? -- Violated Friend

DEAR VIOLATED FRIEND: You need to trust that your friend is telling the truth. Though you didn’t see anyone else go in the room, it’s likely that some other person at the party was the culprit.

This is a tough situation because many of us put our bags down when among friends. It can seem awkward to hold onto your purse when in the company of close friends. In the future, you may want to hang your bag on your chair or keep it close to you, rather than in another room.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve just received two job offers for the same position, same pay and equal commute. I’m not sure how to decide which company to choose. I am more than qualified for both jobs, but these companies are paying fairly lower than average for this type of job. I’ve considered looking for a higher-paying job, but they all require a longer commute. I feel that I will take my chances to negotiate for higher pay for the positions offered and accept whichever is best. I haven’t done this before and don’t know how to approach the hiring manager. I know my worth, and I know what this job entails, so I think that they should be willing to offer more pay. How do I express this in a professional manner? -- Raising the Bar

DEAR RAISING THE BAR: Given that both jobs offered the same lower wage for the same job, it could be that the rate for that position has decreased, at least in your area. So tread lightly. Choose which company you would prefer if you had to choose. Then go to the other company and tell them that you received two offers and are interested -- but only if they will make a higher bid. If they come back with a sweeter deal, go to your favorite and do the same. Why I suggest holding out on your preferred company is that this plan could backfire. If the other company walks away, you will still have a company that welcomes you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: There is a creepy guy who follows me on social media. I have known him since before there even was this way of communicating, but I haven’t spoken to him in years. Then out of nowhere he started commenting on my posts. After that, he began to send me long, mostly nonsensical emails. I’m not quite sure what to do. He writes to me as if my postings on social media were written directly to him. He expects me to answer him and is very insistent. But I swear I haven’t talked to him in years, and we were never close anyway. How can I get him to back off? -- Stalker

DEAR STALKER: Putting yourself out there in the public has its risks, including being vulnerable to the overtures of strangers or people you do not know well. The good news is you can control it -- a bit, anyway. You can block this person from accessing you. That will stop you from receiving his overtures. If he attempts to reach out to you in person, contact the police.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter wore braces for nearly two years, and it cost me a pretty penny. She was supposed to wear her retainer every night afterward, which she assured me she would do. We are now at two years later, and she says her retainer doesn’t fit anymore -- presumably because some molars have come in. When we went to the orthodontist, I was assured that the reason the retainer doesn’t fit is because my daughter stopped wearing it and her teeth shifted. I am so mad. To have another retainer made will cost $1,000. I think my daughter should be penalized for this irresponsible behavior. Am I overreacting? -- Ill Fit

DEAR ILL FIT: We all need to discover that there are consequences to our actions. Your daughter made an expensive mistake. To penalize her might help to reinforce the importance of following up on agreements that you make. As much as I would like to say that you should forgo the retainer, I do know that if your daughter doesn’t get a new one, the chances are great that her teeth will begin to shift back to their original state, and all of your investment will be for naught.

What kind of punishment might work? Figure out something your daughter can do around the house or for others that would be worth $1,000 over time. It could be a community service project. It could be additional weekly chores at a particular rate that she works off over time. Whatever you choose should be measurable so that it's clear when she has completed her tasks. Of course, one part of this should be actually wearing the retainer every night, or she loses some of the money she’s accrued.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been enjoying a bit of socializing this summer -- at a distance -- with people in my beach community. We have had two couples over for dinner, and we all made sure that we were never too close to each other, especially when we were eating, since we had our masks off.

The other day, my friend said she wanted to host an event that is slightly larger to end the summer. Since it would be right after Labor Day, she thought it would be all right to have more people -- like 20. I’m so nervous about this. Even though I know the people, I worry that bringing that many people together could be dangerous. How should I handle this? -- Social Distancing

DEAR SOCIAL DISTANCING: Trust your gut. If you feel that the group in question may be too large, pare it down a bit. Talk to your friend about your concerns, and discuss a compromise or other ways to configure the event.

For example, can everything be done outside? Perhaps you can serve individual-size drinks and food items so that nobody has to touch things twice. Space out seating so that people are at least 6 feet apart. Place hand sanitizer in clear view. Put wipes in the bathroom, and instruct guests to wipe down the sink and seat with each use. If you can remain vigilant throughout the party, you may be able to host an ode to summer safely -- even if it is smaller than the original vision.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is so nervous about starting school that she has developed hives. She is normally a late sleeper, but recently she has been waking in the middle of the night freaked out because her face, neck and arms are covered with hives. I have applied calamine lotion to her skin and sat and rocked her like I did when she was a baby, but it takes hours for them to die down. I haven’t wanted to disturb her doctor since this is not a dire emergency, but I’m at my wit’s end. What should I do? -- Hives

DEAR HIVES: Call your daughter’s pediatrician immediately and describe what is happening. For the hives, there is likely a topical or internal medication that can be prescribed to neutralize them.

Beyond that, have your daughter talk to the doctor and explain what’s going on. Is she having nightmares? What is inhabiting her thoughts? What are her concerns about school? As you listen, think about what you can do to support her. Has her school determined whether it will have remote learning or a hybrid? What do you feel comfortable with? Listen as intently as you can so that you can determine how best to calm your daughter and plan for the school year. This is a time of tremendous uncertainty. Be honest about what you don’t know, but also reinforce that you will do all in your power to protect her.

Her doctor may want her to speak with a mental health specialist to help her navigate her feelings. Support whatever recommendation the pediatrician has as you begin this new chapter.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)