DEAR HARRIETTE: I am pregnant with my first child. My husband is African American, and I am white. We have been having conversations about raising a biracial child. My husband knows the sorts of conversations he plans to have with our child about race, but I want to be a part of the conversation as well. As a white woman, what are important conversations I should have with my biracial child? What challenges will we face, and how can we prepare and support each other as a family? -- Biracial Family

BIRACIAL FAMILY: This is where it is essential for you and your husband to talk. It cannot be just him having conversations with your child. You two chose each other. Now you need to choose together to decide what is important for your children to know -- and why. You probably need some educating yourself. Talk to your husband about his experiences growing up, his concerns for the safety and well-being of the children you bring into the world, and what he plans to talk to them about. Tell him what your thoughts and concerns are as well.

Talk it out today and in an ongoing manner. Though we are in 2020, racial tension and conflict remain at a high point in our country. We all need to be talking about our history, our personal experiences and the fate of our children.

As a white woman, think about what privileges you have enjoyed and what challenges you have faced. Then remember any racially charged experiences you have had since you have been with your husband. Acknowledge them. Talk about them with him. Make a plan for the future -- together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My new neighbor is a nightmare! I usually mind my business and do not judge others on my street. I like to have parties and barbecues, so when others have theirs, I do not mind. But the neighbor who moved in this summer takes parties to a whole other level. The parties can happen on any day of the week. They start before noon and last until sundown. There is music, which is OK, but the amount of profanity is a bit much. Cars fill up their front lawn and up and down our street.

I do not want to be that neighbor who takes action, so I have been raising the issue to other neighbors, hoping that someone else knocks on the door to say something before I have to. I feel evil for this. I do not want to involve police because this is not a crime, but after three months of constant parties, I have become desperate. I never imagined there could be a neighbor like this with no limits. Any other suggestions? -- Not a Narc Neighbor

DEAR NOT A NARC NEIGHBOR: Noise pollution actually is considered a misdemeanor and can be addressed by local law enforcement when needed. Before you get to that point, it would be great if a coalition of neighbors reached out to this person to express your concern that the partying has gotten to be a distraction for the neighborhood. As a group, or with one designee, approach the neighbor to ask if they would be more mindful of their surroundings. Make a grievance list -- or at least a request for what you want from them -- and see if they will willingly comply. If not, call 311.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My father is a recovering alcoholic; he was six months sober. Last week, I lent him my car to go to work. When he didn’t arrive back home following his shift, I called his phone and learned that he had been in an accident while intoxicated. He broke his arm, and my car was totaled. I am drowning in bills and have a family to take care of. I’m so angry. I am thankful that he is safe, but he needs help and care. I want to support him through his addiction, but I can no longer risk my family situation. I want to check him into a rehabilitation facility to protect him and get him the help he needs. How can I explain this to him without upsetting him? -- Help My Dad

DEAR HELP MY DAD: Your father has to help himself. As much as you love him, you cannot enable him anymore. He will get upset when you recommend that he get help for his addiction. But you should recommend it anyway. Tell him how saddened and compromised you are because of his actions. Of course you are grateful that he is alive, but at what cost? Be frank with him. Tell him that you need him to get help because his addiction is taking over his life and the lives of you and your family.

You should consider going to Al-Anon (alanon.org), an organization that supports the families and loved ones of people who are suffering from alcoholism. Your father’s addiction directly impacts you -- and I’m sure it has for a long time. Perhaps talking to others who are having a similar experience may help you to gain some tools for your own sanity.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a twin sister, and we will be going away to different colleges in a few weeks. This is our first time being separated for more than a few hours. We have always done everything together, and I fear not being around her.

We planned to go to the same school, but she changed her mind and chose a different school at the last minute. I feel a bit of panic every time we speak about school and see her excitement to be somewhere I am not. I feel betrayed. I want to switch schools and go with her, but I do not want her to feel like I am following her or taking away her shine. I am just scared to be without her. Can I follow her to school to be near her, or should I face my fears? -- Twins

DEAR TWINS: Separating from your sister is clearly frightening for you -- and understandably so. Think of this as an opportunity for you to step more fully into yourself. Yes, it may be scary at first, but now is the time to trust that you are a strong and interesting individual who deserves to discover who you are independent of her. At your own school, you will meet new people, cultivate friendships and find your own rhythm. You will never lose your sister, but you will gain new allies if you allow yourself to do so.

You may want to get some mental health counseling in the beginning to help you transition into college life on your own. Your new school should offer that service. Good luck to you. You can do it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work for my family’s business. My father is the head of our company. Staff whisper the typical stigma about me: If I weren't his son, I would not have my job or would not keep my job, and the only reason that I have succeeded in moving up in the company is because of, as a co-worker said, “my birthright.” It is tough having to prove my worth to my co-workers every day just to be accepted by them because they feel we are different and they will never move up in the company like I have. I don’t find that to be true. I know that if I were bad at my job, my father would remove me and give the job to someone else. At the same time, yes, this company is my family’s legacy, and I deserve the chance to succeed. I do not want to feel guilty for this fact; I just want everyone else off my back. -- Singled Out

DEAR SINGLED OUT: You cannot control what people say about you, but you can control yourself. Make sure that your work is excellent -- always. Show up early, do your very best, be kind to your co-workers and exhibit your leadership skills. Encourage your co-workers to strive to be their best. And do your best to ignore their comments.

You can also talk to your father about the infrastructure of the company and opportunities for growth for other employees. If he believes there is a chance for anyone to rise up in the company, suggest that he make it known that there is room for growth. If he promotes someone other than you, it will demonstrate to the staff that he is fair -- even as he continues to groom you to run the business.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was asked to find a speaker at the last minute for a civic event that I am helping to host. I called in a favor and got a big-name person. That’s great, but the details are kind of messy. And now my contact is frustrated. She is getting paid. How can I calm her down and keep things moving in the right direction without looking unprofessional? -- Rocky Start

DEAR ROCKY START: Be strategic and honest with this woman. Tell her how much you appreciate her willingness to participate in this event, and apologize for the challenges she has faced. Assure her that you will do all within your power to make sure that things go as smoothly as possible -- including getting her paid in a timely manner.

Then go back to your event people and reinforce the need to be professional. Remind them that you have used your personal contacts to help them secure this speaker and that it is important for you and the organization to handle the speaker and the event with professionalism. Ask them what you can do to help things to move more smoothly. Remind them that you need the speaker’s check cut by the day of the event. Continue to be the liaison to ensure that you can handle whatever glitches may come. Do not discuss those details with your speaker. Keep internal machinations to yourself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)