DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently had to euthanize my dog. He was about 13 years old -- very old for a dog. When I would get home from work, he laid in the same spot and didn’t move. He stopped eating and was soiling himself. I tried to get him to stand up, but he would nip at me and cry out in pain.

My family and I managed to get him cleaned up and moved into our van to take him to the vet. The vet said he had lost a majority of muscle mass in his legs and recommended putting him to sleep rather than spending thousands of dollars in surgery to try to repair the little muscle left. We decided to put him to sleep, but now all I feel is guilt and regret, like I gave up on him. How do you come to terms with having made a decision for your family pet like this? -- We Miss Him

DEAR WE MISS HIM: Saying goodbye to a family pet can feel like saying goodbye to a family member, especially when the pet has been part of the family for so long. It is natural for you to feel a range of emotions. Because these days there are so many options to keep pets alive, it is understandable that you might think that you should have done more to extend your pet’s life. But the reality is that sometimes you have to let your pet go. Trust that your vet would not have suggested that it was time to euthanize your dog unless he was certain that there were no other viable options.

Now is the time for you to mourn your loss and to be grateful for the time you shared together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother and I are super close; he is my best friend. We want to get our own place together 200 miles away from home. We never had arguments or issues growing up. He is not messy, he works hard, he always does what he has to do and I know that I can always count on him. He is just as eager to move as I am.

Now that we are house hunting, it seems that I am doing all the work and he is dragging his feet with applications. I know that he and his girlfriend are discussing whether she will be coming with us, but I have a feeling he’s getting cold feet about moving because of her. I have everything ready to go, and I found the perfect place, but I need to know if he is living with me. Should I wait to see what he plans to do or just decide to find a different place fit for myself and move without him? -- Packed and Ready

DEAR PACKED AND READY: Consider your brother’s behavior to be a blessing in advance. If his level of interest is waning because of the distraction of his girlfriend, you want to know that in advance. Sit down with your brother and have a heart-to-heart discussion. Ask him what he wants to do now. Point out that you need to know if he is committed to sharing an apartment with you. You also want to know if he intends for his girlfriend to move in. If so, she should accept some of the financial responsibility for the apartment. Get crystal-clear about the plan with him. You may need to move on. Let your frank conversation with him guide you to next steps.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom is in her 60s and has compromised lungs. For the past few months, my sister and I have been taking her groceries and having what she needs delivered to her house. Growing up, we had a constant flow of lost souls going in and out of our house. We never knew who was going to be camped out on our driveway or sleeping on our couch for weeks at a time.

We have really high rates of COVID in our state, and my mom has a casual friend camping on her driveway who is not practicing social distancing. The last time my kids were at my mom’s house, this person yelled at them for doing something wrong (she was incorrect). She also made them roll in the gravel after they had her dog do a trick in the gravel. My kids are middle and late elementary school-aged and are good kids. When I approached my mom about this, she got defensive and made excuses for the friend’s behavior. We don't feel comfortable going to her house with this person there, and my sister is on the same page and has the same concerns.

Do you have any suggestions on how to go forward? My sister and I are both going to keep delivering groceries, but it has put a big wrench in our relationship. My oldest son tried talking with his grandma and came away frustrated and hurt. -- Family Drama

DEAR FAMILY DRAMA: Given that your mother has always welcomed lost souls to her home, you are not likely to get her to ask this person to leave. What you can do is draw the line for yourself and your family. Let her know that you will continue to have food delivered to her home, but that you and her grandchildren will no longer come by. Explain that you are concerned about being exposed to COVID-19. Since the person is not practicing social distancing and has exhibited untoward behavior, you want to protect your family from them. Suggest that your mother reconsider who she allows to be near her, given her condition. In the end, you have to put your foot down to protect yourself and your children.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In regard to the person who has only a fan during videoconference calls and wants to stay cool, I have a couple of suggestions for how to keep cool from personal experience. One thing to try is to put a tub of water and ice in front of the fan so the fan blows over the tub of water and you get the cool air. Put damp towels in the fridge overnight, and place them on your body where they can't be seen during the call, like your thighs and stomach, while the fan is blowing. Also, take a quick, cool shower before meetings. Keep a wet towel nearby, and wet your arms, legs, chest and stomach so when the fan blows on you, it cools you off. Repeat as needed. Hope this helps! -- Stay Cool

DEAR STAY COOL: Thank you for these practical tips. Another reader suggested putting your feet in a small tub of ice water -- again, out of the eye of the camera -- to help you stay cool during these super-hot days.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a restaurant manager. I recently had to let go of one of my servers who continuously got complaints for being rude. I had trouble with her arriving late and creating issues with other staff during work hours. It was actually a relief to have her gone.

About a month later when I was dropping off my 4-year-old at day care, I was introduced to a new teacher’s assistant who had just started. It was my former employee. Our last interaction did not go well, and I am confident that she is not a genuinely nice person. How does a person like that get a job caring for children? I am concerned about her working in the same classroom as my child. I always felt my child was safe there, but now I’m not sure. Should I say something to the day care director or move my child? -- Should I Speak Up?

DEAR SHOULD I SPEAK UP: You should speak to the management of your child’s day care center. Request a private meeting, and express your concerns. Be direct but not inflammatory. Describe your relationship with this woman, including the reactions that customers had to her that led to her eventual firing. Suggest that management observe her carefully to ensure that she treats the children, staff and parents well.

She may be better with children than with adults. Her poor fit at a restaurant might become a good fit in this different environment -- but who knows? As her former employer, you absolutely should alert the day care center director about what you know as a fact about her behavior.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I agreed to allow my sister to come stay with me to visit my daughter. My sister and I do not get along, but I remain civil for my daughter's sake. Anytime we get into an argument, she goes way too far and says things about me as a mother. My sister can’t have kids, and I feel like she judges my parenting skills, from the job I pick to where I live to what I cook or wear. When she is in town, I feel like I have to tiptoe to protect my self-esteem from her. I don’t know how to handle her. She does not have kids, but I don’t want to say something unforgivable about that. I’ve encouraged her to adopt, but she always drops the topic and says she has her niece, my daughter. I am super uncomfortable around her. How should I tell her to back off? -- Back Off, Sister

DEAR BACK OFF, SISTER: Take a step back and evaluate what’s happening here. Why do you give your sister a pass to come into your home and enjoy your daughter, treating you with disrespect all the while? That doesn’t make sense. It is time for you to stand up for yourself.

While your sister is with you, sit down and have a talk with her. Tell her that you have gone out of your way to be sensitive to her situation and to accommodate her desire to stay close to your daughter, but you have had enough.

Point out how she treats you. Give her several examples of the things she has said and how she said them. Tell her that you do not appreciate her criticism and that you have had enough. If she cannot find it in herself to stop her critical conversation, you will not invite her to stay with you anymore. Regardless of what she says, don’t give in. Otherwise, your child will unconsciously learn that your sister’s behavior is acceptable and may take on some of those qualities.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)