DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been looking to hire a part-time assistant to help me get a project off the ground. Considering how many people are out of work, I figured if I posted the position on my social media, I would get a few candidates. I did, and a few people responded, but nobody seemed eager to work hard. For example, when I wrote back to people to set up interviews, it took them days to respond. One woman sounded interesting, but she wasn’t willing to work enough hours. Another man I gave a chance, but he never could show up to our morning meetings on time. I think I may need to go to one of those services that has already vetted people in order to feel confident. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned work ethic? -- Work Ethic

DEAR WORK ETHIC: Amend your job description to include the personality and shared values that you need your assistant to have, including being proactive, timely, well organized, enthusiastic, etc. Using a service may help you with vetting, but know that, either way, it may take a while to find a perfect match. Don’t give up and don’t lower your standards. It’s better for you to be without help for a while than to pay for substandard help. I’d also recommend you stop searching on social media and start looking at dedicated job boards.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After reading your response to When to Give, I need to chime in and suggest you do more research.

While there is incredible unemployment currently, and it appears kind to give money to panhandlers, your suggestion to continue to give is completely off base. Being in an area with significant homelessness -- San Diego -- the challenge with panhandlers, especially aggressive ones, is a daily issue. Providing funds to panhandlers rarely helps them in a productive way; the money goes to their addiction and encourages increasingly aggressive methods. Most advocates encourage that money be given to organizations that actually assist the homeless, such as providing shelter, food and rehab.

Again, most money given to a panhandler generally will go into their arms or to buy alcohol. There have been several articles in this area with interviews from panhandlers; they state the same thing and have suggested a good street corner can net them $50+ an hour, tax free. This has even given rise to fake panhandlers.

Please do not encourage your readers to support panhandlers. Encourage support of organizations that actually contribute to assisting the homeless through programs to either make their lives easier or help them escape the cycle.

I do not work for a nonprofit in this area. I am just a resident of a city with a huge homeless problem that has had to deal with it for 20 years. Panhandler do make it scary to be a woman leaving the house alone, so the reader was very valid in her letter. -- Experienced

DEAR EXPERIENCED: Thank you for your recommendation. I normally follow exactly the advice you have recommended. It has not been my practice to give people money on the street. I admit that seeing so many people in need since the pandemic hit prompted me to feel the urgency to give in the moment.

I will add to your suggestions that I have noticed restaurants in my neighborhood being set up as food kitchens to support the additional need. So, your point is well taken. Giving to establishments and entities that are organized around serving people in need may be more efficient than the one-off gift.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My high school-aged daughter is taking an accelerated college class this summer. I am excited for her to stimulate her brain and get some good extra credit on her resume. I am also worried that she isn’t applying herself enough. The class operates at a quick pace. She started out gung ho, but her enthusiasm has dwindled. How can I keep her motivated? This class was expensive, but besides that, it is important for her to excel. -- Keeping Her Motivated

DEAR KEEPING HER MOTIVATED: Sit down with your daughter and establish a work schedule with her. Discuss her responsibilities. Have her explain what she is required to do and what the deadlines are. Help her to create a calendar that includes deadlines for each assignment. She should also add in breaks for relaxing. After she commits to the schedule, tell her you will help her to monitor it. Acknowledge that you know this is a lot of work at an intense pace. Encourage her to have confidence in herself that she can get it done. Be her cheerleader AND enforcer. In this way, you can keep her attitude positive even though it is a grind.

Since the academic schedule was off this past semester for all students due to COVID-19, your daughter probably lost her academic rhythm several months ago, which makes this new class that much more challenging to engage in fully. She can do it. Cheer her on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been going down memory lane a lot these past few months that we have been at home. I keep remembering all kinds of things that I regret. Decisions that were stupid that I didn’t think through have come back to kick me in the butt now. I can’t believe how short-sighted I was in my youth. Now I am reaping the fruit of my bad actions. The worst of them are about poor money management. I can’t turn back time to fix any of it, and I keep waking up at night regretting how I handled things. How can I get out of this head space? It’s not doing me any favors, but the nightmares keep coming. -- End the Nightmares

DEAR END THE NIGHTMARES: You may not be able to do anything about the past, but you can face the present and map out the future. If your major issue revolves around money, get some help. You can go online and find a money management app that can help you keep track of your spending. Mint is a good app for tracking every dollar. Credit Karma can help you to stay on top of your credit rating. It also makes suggestions for how to raise your credit score. Acorns helps you invest very small amounts of money so that you can build your savings. And there are many more.

You may also want to take an online course about money management, hire a bookkeeper to help you keep track of your resources and potentially engage an investment adviser who can help you look at the future and make a plan to lead you to financial freedom.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: What do you do when you hurt the one you love? I recently had a fight with my partner and lashed out at him in a way that deeply hurt his feelings. I feel incredibly guilty, but I know that won’t do anything to help the situation. What can I do now that I’ve acknowledged that I was wrong and said I’m sorry? He is obviously still very upset. How do I approach him during this time, given that we live together and I’d like to do my best to make him feel better? -- Making Up

DEAR MAKING UP: Sometimes things have to run their course. You may need to give your partner his space for a while. He may need time to get past the sting of the argument and all that occurred in the midst of it.

You can call a “family meeting” and tell him again that you regret the way you handled the argument. Commit -- to the best of your ability -- to keeping the content of arguments specifically to the topic at hand rather than piling on or dredging up old stuff, as that only hurts people and doesn’t help to resolve the issue.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Two of my friends are in an argument, and I don’t know what to do about it. I understand points from either side and have been a listening ear for both of them. However, as things escalate, I am worried that they’ll want me to pick sides, and I don’t want to cause conflict since I’ve been hearing both of them out and agreeing to some extent with each of their concerns in private. I care about both of these people, and I don’t want to lose the friendship of either, even if the two of them don’t want to be friends. How should I approach this situation? -- In the Middle

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: Tell each of them that you want the best for them, but you no longer want to be the sounding board for them in this situation. Explain that you are in an extremely awkward position. You love them both and want to stay friends. Your greatest wish is for them to get past their argument and mend their relationship, but if that doesn’t happen, you do not intend to pick sides. You want to remain friends with both of them.

When you are asked about your opinion about their positions in this argument, reserve the right to abstain from commenting. Tell them that you realize that they have to work this out on their own. You do not want to be caught up in the middle of their drama. Refuse to give your opinion. You may also need to stop talking to them when they start elaborating on their issues. The only way to stay out of it is to extract yourself from the conversation as soon as it begins.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)