DEAR HARRIETTE: I just had a telehealth call with my primary care physician, and he grilled me about how I have been taking care of myself during this period of quarantine. I didn’t want to admit that I have gained 10 to 15 pounds. I am embarrassed that I haven’t been more disciplined. I was already supposed to be losing weight, but instead I gained. He cautioned me that I have to lose weight because obesity is one of the factors that can make one more susceptible to complications from COVID-19. I know he’s right, but I didn’t appreciate hearing that from him. It’s almost time to go back out into the world. Now he has me scared all over again about getting sick and dying. It’s not like I can reverse this weight gain with a blink. What should I do? -- Target

DEAR TARGET: Your doctor was right to caution you about your health during this time. Sadly, the risk of getting ill has not yet passed. You should be extremely cautious based on what the medical community recommends.

That doesn’t mean you have to stop in your tracks, though. What you need to do is move your body. The easiest thing you can do is walk for 45 minutes to an hour each day. Put on a face covering, grab a bottle of water and walk in your neighborhood. If you are up for it, you can turn on an exercise video and do an at-home workout.

Beyond that, it’s time to change your diet. Cut out the sugar and fat. Choose to eat lean meats and plenty of vegetables. Drink lots of water and fewer (or no) sweet drinks, including alcohol. Track your weight. You can come down significantly if you are vigilant about what you eat and how you move.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom has planned a lovely baby shower for me in a couple of weeks. Now she is worried that it may not be safe enough for people to come to our home. The plan was for people to be in the backyard as socially distant as they can be, but since there is a surge happening, she is worried that she may expose me and the baby to the virus inadvertently. She wants to change it to a drive-by party where people honk horns and drop off gifts. That makes me sad. We have been holed up for so long, and I want to be with people. What do you think? -- Baby Shower

DEAR BABY SHOWER: Your mother is right to be overly cautious. Medical professionals do not know yet what the status of the virus’s spread will be in the coming weeks. We do know that there is a surge happening in many parts of the country. You may want to host a hybrid event. Invite most guests to participate in the outdoor drive-by so that you get to see your loved ones and they can see you and your blossoming belly.

Later, you can host a much smaller barbecue -- still outdoors -- where you can practice social distancing. You will need to stay at least 6 feet away from everyone at all times. But in this way, you can talk to guests and interact with them a bit more. Everyone should wear facial coverings except when they are eating or drinking, and plentiful hand sanitizer should be made available.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am doing things at work that are not part of my job description, and I’m not getting paid for them. I’m well respected at my job, which is why people trust me with these tasks, and while I don’t mind doing favors once in a while, I’m not getting paid for these favors. It’s becoming a pattern. I work for a small business, and I’m very close to everyone. There’s a sense of loyalty among all of the co-workers. How should I approach this situation without burning bridges or causing conflict? Should I ask to get paid, or should I just stop doing the tasks entirely? -- Drawing the Line

DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: On one hand, especially in small offices, people tend to pitch in and handle functions that need to be addressed simply because there is a need. On the other hand, these duties should either be shared by office mates or assigned to a particular person as a job responsibility.

This is a tricky situation. I recommend that you observe and evaluate it carefully. Make sure you are not being too sensitive. Are these extra duties so far beyond your scope of work that they should be handled by another? Or should your job responsibilities expand to include these tasks? Do you believe you deserve additional compensation to do them? Or are they distracting you from completing your job? Does anyone else have random additional job functions to fulfill?

After your evaluation, speak to your supervisor. Explain that you are a team player, but you feel uncomfortable having to take on these functions that are outside your scope of work. Point out that only you are being asked to do these things -- if that is true. What seems fair is for extra tasks to be evenly divided if there is no set person to handle them. Just know that pitching in is considered an asset at a job, as long as it isn’t abused by your employer.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a 38-year-old woman, and I think one of my friends may be in an abusive marriage. I noticed these patterns in the last couple of months when I would sometimes see bruises on her after they had big conflicts. He has always been controlling of what she does and where she goes, but it has started to get even worse. She always seemed to put up with his controlling behavior, though I occasionally pointed out that it was a bit much. I am particularly worried now that they are in quarantine together and I am not able to see her as often. I try to call her, but it’s hard to communicate with her while he’s in the house. How can I help my friend? -- Friend in Need

DEAR FRIEND IN NEED: Next time you talk to your friend, suggest that if she is ever in need of rescue, she can use a keyword that sounds natural as an indicator to you that she is asking for help. She can call you, text you or otherwise reach out to you and say that word -- like “pineapple” or “dance class,” anything that would not be a natural trigger for her husband but that would indicate to you that you should come pick her up or call the police to rescue her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My stepfather, who has been with my mother for the last three years, has been making insensitive comments about the Black Lives Matter protests. For example, saying that the protests are all about looting and violence, and dismissing the concerns of African Americans in this country. How do I approach the topic so that I can try to educate him and change his perspectives while being respectful since I am trying to build a friendly relationship with him and don’t want to cause any family tension? -- Black Lives Matter

DEAR BLACK LIVES MATTER: Now that the looting and violence have died down but the marching continues, you can point out that the true protesters remain -- people who are fighting for equity. You can give him articles and books to read, point him to reports about racial disparities in our country and encourage him to open his eyes to the fullness of what is happening in the nation today. There are many reading lists that you can access. Here’s one with a broad range of ideas: nytimes.com/2019/05/29/books/review/antiracist-reading-list-ibram-x-kendi.html.

Beyond making suggestions to your stepfather, you might want to back down a bit. Arguing about the rising tide of awareness of racial inequity will not likely change his mind. Instead, insert comments when you feel he is able to hear them. Watch movies -- in his company -- that shine a light on race relations. Subtly bring up the subject, but do your best not to argue.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex reached out to me a month ago. He sounded drunk, but he was also clear in what he was saying. He told me that he thought he had made a huge mistake breaking up with me a couple of years ago, and he knows I am the woman for him. He went on and on. I let him talk because he seemed pretty riled up. I didn’t say much.

I called him the next day to talk when I thought he might be sober. What did I get? Crickets. It has been four weeks now, and I still haven’t heard from him. I know that he was probably drunk when he did all of that talking about how much he loves me, but come on! Should I chalk it up to a random drunken moment, or should I pursue him and get him to talk to me? I have never stopped loving him. If there’s a chance for us, I don’t want to let it go. -- Does He Love Me?

DEAR DOES HE LOVE ME?: Listen to yourself, and look at the situation soberly. It’s interesting -- while your ex may have been inebriated, you also sound like you are not of sober mind. The way you can evaluate what to do next is based on what is happening now. Sure, your ex may have stammered through telling you he still loves you when he was intoxicated, but if he is running away now, he clearly is not ready to step up and own his feelings.

Don’t chase after him. That’s not the type of relationship you want or deserve. If he cannot be honest with his feelings and desires for the future, you have no chance at happiness with him anyway. Sounds like it’s time for you and your heart to move on.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)