DEAR HARRIETTE: Even during these times when so many people are out of work, I am seeing that some young people do not want to work hard. Am I wrong to say that? I have hired two recent college grads in the past two months. And -- can you believe it? -- they don’t show up to work, meaning to a Zoom call, on time. They arrive 10 to 20 minutes late to meetings without even an acknowledgment that they were late. I don’t want to seem like a crotchety old boss, but I don’t get it. I am giving them a chance to work at a time when I need their undivided attention and focus, and I’m not getting it. How can I motivate them? -- Unmotivated

DEAR UNMOTIVATED: Now is the time to teach. You say your employees are recent college grads. The transition from school to work may be more of an adjustment than they imagined. They also may not know things that you consider basic -- such as how important it is to show up on time.

Write up office rules that outline specifically what your expectations are for your employees. Review them with your staff, and have them sign the document to say that they understand and accept the rules. Point out to them that in the virtual work environment, you have specific expectations, and you need them to be honored.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m the mother of 17- and 20-year-old sons who’ve both gone through non-bathing phases. I agree wholeheartedly with the mother of the 22-year-old who suggested not pushing the issue too much because it could tip him over to suicide. Our oldest lost his best friend to suicide his senior year. Being a teenager is rough in ordinary times, but now they are really struggling. Bathing may be one of the few things he can control in a world that feels out of control. Not bathing won’t kill him. Eventually he’ll come around. In the meantime, let him make his own decisions about his body. -- Another Parent of Teens

DEAR ANOTHER PARENT OF TEENS: I am so very sorry for your loss. Teen suicide is a real issue in our community, something we must all take seriously. Of course, bathing or not doesn’t hold a candle to the much bigger issue of mental health.

Emotions are running high for many people during this elongated period of sheltering at home. I have heard from many families who are trying to figure out how to support their children, particularly teenagers, during this time. I know the restrictions that my own teenage daughter now has to endure are the exact opposite of the freedoms we once allowed her. As a blossoming young adult, she was able to go out and be with her friends -- with appropriate curfew considerations -- but that has ended due to COVID-19, at least for now.

I agree that we need to listen carefully and closely to our children and do all that we can to keep them mentally, spiritually and physically healthy during this time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just graduated from college, and my partner moved in with me at my parents’ house because of quarantine. This has deepened our relationship and brought us closer, but it has posed challenges and shown incompatibilities that have me questioning if I want to continue the relationship.

Since we both just graduated college, we are on the job hunt. He seems to be planning his future around me and is suggesting we move to the same city. However, since I am now considering breaking things off at the end of the summer, I feel bad that he may make a choice based on me when I am uncertain about the future of our relationship.

I don’t want to break things off right now because, all things considered, I am really enjoying spending the summer with him. Also, he doesn’t have anywhere else to stay right now. What should I do about this situation, if anything? -- Next Steps

DEAR NEXT STEPS: Put yourself in your boyfriend’s position for a moment. I understand that you don’t want him to feel awkward staying with you if you don’t think the relationship will last. But imagine how he will feel at the end of the summer if you cut him off suddenly.

I think you should take a mature posture and have an honest talk with him. If you would like to enjoy the summer with him, say that. Tell him you are not sure of your next steps; you both have just finished college, and your plans for the future are uncertain. Admit that you don’t know if this relationship is your forever bond, but add that you believe the two of you are enjoying each other now. Ask him if he will agree to make the most of this time as you also tell him that you do not want him to plan his life around what you do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Just about every time I walk outside, someone asks me for money. I know that millions of people are out of work, and I want to help, but people are getting kind of aggressive. If I don’t have money to give every moment, how can I remain kind but firm? Some people have rushed up on me and taken me by surprise, coming close enough to touch me. I feel really uncomfortable, but I don’t want to be rude. -- When To Give

DEAR WHEN TO GIVE: The number of unemployed has surpassed 46 million. Naturally, there are more people in desperate straits because of the lack of resources. What you can do is give when you can, and be firm when you can’t. Pay attention when you go outside, which you should be doing anyway. Notice if people are coming into your personal space, and move away. Sometimes when people are feeling desperate, they can make poor choices. You don’t want to find yourself in the middle of a confrontation that you could avoid. That said, you can look people in the eye and greet them. You can speak to the humanity in each person who encounters you and see them, even if you cannot give them money. That way you avoid being dismissive and cruel. Be aware. Be kind. Be firm about your personal space. Be a citizen of the world, which means continue to care about your fellow humans.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents are getting divorced. They announced it to me, their only child, after we were already hunkered down at their house during quarantine. Now I’m faced with a decision I don’t need right now. My dad is moving out of our family home and into his own house. I love both my parents so much, and I don’t want to pick sides in this fight. But I am now faced with having to make a decision as to where I will live. I am still in college, but I would have the summer off anyway. Because of the coronavirus, I don’t have any idea when I will physically go back to school, so I will be living with my parents indefinitely. How do I decide who I am going to live with? -- Split Decision

DEAR SPLIT DECISION: Divorce is always hard on a family. Divorce in the midst of this pandemic exacerbates an already difficult situation. It is good that you do not want to take sides. Make that clear to your parents. Tell them how much you love them both and do not want to get caught up in their pain.

Realize, too, that you will need to figure out how to balance your time between them. At your age, you are in a position to choose where you want to live. Consider the classic relationship -- splitting your time between the two of them. You may want to help your dad move out and into his new home, since that is a big job. That means in the early days, you may end up living with him as you help him set up his home. Ideally, you should set up a rotating schedule so that you manage expectations. Good luck.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My twin sister is always showing me up. When we were children, she was always the more vocal sister. She would often use my clothes without asking and steal my ideas. Though we are very close and I know that she meant no harm when we were kids, this pattern has continued in more subtle ways now that we are older. For example, she will usually choose where we go for our birthday celebration, which we enjoy doing together. She usually forgets the importance of my input in the decision. I’ve also seen trends like this seep into much more important decisions and family conflicts. We are home from college during quarantine, and now that we are older and spending so much time together, I feel like it’s the perfect time to talk to her about how her actions sometimes hurt me. Is this really the right time, considering we’re all locked up together? And how should I approach this? -- Twin Time

DEAR TWIN TIME: Now is the time for you to gather up your courage to stand up to your sister. You have allowed her to be the leader since you were children. She may not realize that you want to be more of an equal participant in your relationship. You need to tell her. Yes, use this time at home to have a serious conversation with her about your relationship -- including how much you love each other and how important it is for you to have a voice. Be brave.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)