DEAR HARRIETTE: I just graduated from college, and my partner moved in with me at my parents’ house because of quarantine. This has deepened our relationship and brought us closer, but it has posed challenges and shown incompatibilities that have me questioning if I want to continue the relationship.
Since we both just graduated college, we are on the job hunt. He seems to be planning his future around me and is suggesting we move to the same city. However, since I am now considering breaking things off at the end of the summer, I feel bad that he may make a choice based on me when I am uncertain about the future of our relationship.
I don’t want to break things off right now because, all things considered, I am really enjoying spending the summer with him. Also, he doesn’t have anywhere else to stay right now. What should I do about this situation, if anything? -- Next Steps
DEAR NEXT STEPS: Put yourself in your boyfriend’s position for a moment. I understand that you don’t want him to feel awkward staying with you if you don’t think the relationship will last. But imagine how he will feel at the end of the summer if you cut him off suddenly.
I think you should take a mature posture and have an honest talk with him. If you would like to enjoy the summer with him, say that. Tell him you are not sure of your next steps; you both have just finished college, and your plans for the future are uncertain. Admit that you don’t know if this relationship is your forever bond, but add that you believe the two of you are enjoying each other now. Ask him if he will agree to make the most of this time as you also tell him that you do not want him to plan his life around what you do.