DEAR HARRIETTE: I really want to go out and participate in the Black Lives Matter protests, but I also have been taking quarantine very seriously as I believe it saves lives. How do I balance these conflicting principles and decide whether I should protest or stay home? -- Black Lives Matter

DEAR BLACK LIVES MATTER: Public protest is clearly bringing attention to issues of racial inequality in this country. Protests are making a difference, especially because they are ongoing and include people of all ages, ethnic groups and gender identities. They are inclusive. They are appealing. And I applaud the peaceful marchers who have worn their masks and walked for freedom.

Protesting is not the only way to make your voice heard. You can write to your member of Congress and demand change. You can pay attention to what’s happening in local and national government and be a voice for change. You can write a check to an organization that is working to effect change in our country. You can read the myriad books that illuminate the roots and realities of racial injustice in our country so that you are educated on where we are, and so you can participate in helping to form where we are headed.

Back to the marches for a moment. In some cities, you can find safe zones where people can come to participate but stand on the periphery with your signs, wearing a mask, but with fewer people gathered. You can participate in ways that make you comfortable, where you are conscious of your health and of the state of our world.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in my 20s, and one of my roommates is exhibiting signs of an eating disorder. She is fixated on her weight and barely eats. How do I bring up my concern for her health and well-being without crossing any lines? I want to make sure she feels supported. At the same time, I think it would be irresponsible of me to say nothing. I am concerned for her life. -- Eating Disorder

DEAR EATING DISORDER: Thank you for caring about your friend so deeply. She is lucky to have you. It is understandable that this is a difficult topic for you to broach. And yes, you should say something.

Health professionals recommend that you do your homework in advance. Learn as much as you can about eating disorders so that you come to your friend with some knowledge, but do not try to act like an expert. Ask your roommate if you can schedule a time for the two of you to meet. Tell her your concerns -- preferably things you have practiced so that you can say them without fear. Express your observations about her eating habits, and suggest that she get some support.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I broke up with my boyfriend about six months ago, but he still lives in my apartment. I know it sounds crazy, but I needed a roommate to split the rent with me; when we broke up, it just seemed easier for him to stay -- at least for a while.

Last weekend, while I was sitting in the courtyard of my building enjoying a socially distanced gathering with my neighbors, I saw him approach our building with another woman. It freaked me out. This isn’t the first time he has brought a woman to the apartment; he’s even had a few of them spend the night. I realize that we aren’t a couple anymore, but I think it is so disrespectful for him to do that. I don’t know what to do. This is my apartment that I own. I suppose I should ask him to leave, but I do need the financial help. What should I do? -- Mad at Ex

DEAR MAD AT EX: I’m so sorry you had to experience that. Even though you and your ex are no longer a couple, clearly you have lingering feelings -- either for him, or at least for the memory of what you had. I am curious as to why you decided he could stay with you after the breakup. You speak of the money, and that’s understandable on a certain level. But you must know that you can get another roommate.

Consider the deeper issue: You may not be ready to let this man go. You have to face that and come to terms with what you want and deserve. Invite him to find a new place to live, give him a deadline for moving out and look for a new roommate so that you can make a smooth transition.

If you are not ready to do that, establish rules. Since it is your house, request that he not bring guests to your home. He won’t like that, and it may prompt him to move on his own. Tell him that it hurts your feelings when he brings his dates to your home. Admit that you thought it would work for him to remain your roommate, but you realize that it just won’t.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother is losing her memory, and it is so scary. We have had her checked out by a doctor who said she doesn’t have dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. That’s good, but it doesn’t change the fact that she forgets everything. I talk to her on the phone, and five minutes later she may not remember what we talked about. What’s worse is that she is living in a nursing home, so we still cannot go to visit her. Ever since COVID-19 started, she has deteriorated so much. I am worried about her. Being alone with nothing to do is terrible for her. But her doctor does not think that we can take her out of the facility because we don’t have the skills to care for her. -- Save Mom

DEAR SAVE MOM: Many doctors are encouraging family members to keep their elderly loved ones safe by keeping them in these facilities. Some nursing homes are offering drive-by visitation with family members so they can at least see each other. Do that if you can. Weekly interaction may spark your mother’s hopefulness. Call her regularly. Use FaceTime or some other videoconferencing feature if you can. Many facilities are helping by providing this service. Ask her to tell you stories that may jog her memory. Stay in close touch as you wait for the day when visitation opens up.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: Happy Independence Day! This is the day so many years ago when our country proclaimed its freedom. For many, it was a happy day. For some, freedom remained elusive. Today, in 2020, our country is grappling with this notion of independence and what it actually means for all citizens. The contemplation is worthwhile even if it can be difficult.

At times like these, I think of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. He said: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” He added, “No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

Isn’t that precisely what we have been witnessing in these past few weeks?

A change began with the sheltering in place that the threat of the insidious disease of COVID-19 brought to our shores, homes and families. For three months, we have had to be still, to take refuge in our homes and in each other. During the stillness of the quarantine, I have spoken to many people who have said that this has been a time for deep reflection and soul searching. These questions -- "What is important to me?" and "What do I truly value?" -- have resonated in many hearts.

And then, just as the quarantine began to be lifted, the deep scar of racism once again showed its ugly head. But this time, people from coast to coast and the world over stood up and said, “Enough is enough.” The outcry for human decency is the shot that rang around the world this time. The call for the end to racial injustice and the senseless profiling and killing specifically of black people has punctured the hearts and minds of most, if not all of us.

As Dr. King said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” This time, "everywhere" is literally a global experience. So, what are marchers seeking? What are corporations, educational institutions, community centers and families hoping to accomplish as they look with greater scrutiny at the way we treat each other? If you listen closely, you will hear that they are rethinking their policies, evaluating the ways in which they engage their employees and customers, reconsidering curricula to be more inclusive, and refreshing their human resources policies. I believe that at the core of these discussions is common decency and respect for humanity. Simple yet profound. I believe that this notion of independence that our country was built upon is the promise of respect for all at the very depth of our being.

Yes, it pulses in the streets and boardrooms right now as “Black Lives Matter.” That makes some people uncomfortable. But the reason it is a rallying cry is because black lives have been considered expendable since the founding of our country. That needs to end. The new vision that can guide us into the future is one where everyone is valued. Everyone is considered worthy of enjoying life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. To get there is going to require an unmasking of inaccurate beliefs and deeply ingrained false narratives, as well as an openness to truly seeing each other for who we are.

Justice is rolling down like waters, as Dr. King said. It’s time to learn how to ride the waves into a space of freedom for all.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)