DEAR HARRIETTE: Being able to spend more time with my family during quarantine has been great. However, as time wears on, we are all beginning to get on each other's nerves, and fights between family members have increased. I don’t want our home to be a hostile environment or family tensions to rise during this time. How can we work with this limited space and these restrictions to make a more civil and understanding home environment? -- Making Space

DEAR MAKING SPACE: You are singing the song of our times! As much as family members may love each other, too much togetherness can be too much. I recommend calling a family meeting and talking it out. Key word: talking. Agree not to yell or hurl accusations. Set the engagement terms so that everybody knows you are meeting to figure out ways to keep the peace during this incredibly stressful period.

Designate times and areas in the home that can be reserved for each family member -- to create space. Agree that you don’t always have to talk. Establish usage rules around common areas and technology, particularly the TV and the bathroom. Give everyone chores so that keeping the house clean doesn’t land on one person’s shoulders. Figure out safe ways to venture outside for fresh air and alone time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got rejected by someone I am in love with because he had to move across the country for work. He said that “maybe in a few years” we can be together, but he doesn’t want a long-distance relationship right now. Is there such a thing as wrong timing, or was this just an excuse for him to turn me down? Should I try to get over him, or should I hold out for the possibility that we may be together in the future? -- Doomed

DEAR DOOMED: Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” As hurt as you are now, you must look at this situation for what it is. The man you love so much is not ready to love you back in the way that you deserve and need. He has told you as much. You need to believe him.

To answer your question, yes, there is such a thing as bad timing. Indeed, it is remarkable to me how rare it is for two people to find each other, fall in love and build a life together. That might sound nuts, but think about it. How often do we know of stories where one person was in love and the other was not? Or something stood in the way of the fulfillment of a relationship? I don’t say this to invoke gloom and doom, but to point out that it is rare and wonderful when the stars align and you experience true acceptance from someone who wants to partner with you in life at the very time that you want to do it.

Now doesn’t seem to be the time for you and this person. Don’t run after him or allow your heart to be bound to him after he leaves. Instead, accept the sad truth that this relationship is not meant to be. Pivot and move on to the life you are living. Keep your eyes open. Your partner may be standing in front of you, but you have to open your eyes in order to see.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a politically active 27-year-old woman. My younger brother, who is just about to enter college, informed me that he wants to join a fraternity. I actively protested against fraternities during my time in college, as I believe they promote toxic masculinity and are spaces of sexual harassment. I also have several friends who were harassed by fraternity members during their time at college. I don’t want my brother to be influenced by this toxic environment, so how should I dissuade him from joining? Or should I allow him to make his own mistakes and simply talk to him about his experiences while in the fraternity as they come up? -- Open His Eyes

DEAR OPEN HIS EYES: You may remember when you were his age that it was hard to listen to your elders as you were trying to become independent. Tread lightly as you talk to your brother. Your goal should be to get him to listen to you. You can suggest that he do some research on the fraternity that interests him. Encourage him to find out about the fraternity’s history on campus and in the broader community. Suggest that he watch out for any fraternity that has the reputation of extreme hazing, sexual harassment or excessive drinking.

Tell your brother that you want him to have a great college experience, and as his sister you want to ensure that he is safe and that he is making smart decisions. Point out what you know about some fraternities. I emphasize “some,” because not all Greek-letter organizations are reckless, irresponsible or dangerous. If you resist lumping them all into one category, your brother may be able to hear your concerns better. If he does join, keep the lines of conversation open. Do your best to stay in touch with him during the pledge process so that you can step in if he seems to be in danger. But know that you cannot live his life for him. You can be of support, but don’t try to tell him what to do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been struggling financially for years. Recently I got a job that pays more than I have made in more years than I want to count. I want to take my family on a vacation. We hardly ever get to go anywhere because the money is so tight. I also know that I should put away some money for retirement. Right now, that pot is empty. Do you think it’s wrong for me to want to do both? Am I being foolish in trying to splurge a teeny bit for my family when I know I need to save? -- Want a Vacation

DEAR WANT A VACATION: Your desire for a little spark of joy and change of locale is certainly understandable, especially during these times when we have been cooped up at home for so long. Before making your decision, take a look at your finances. Are you up to date on your bills? Prioritize your expenses so that you have a clear sense of your situation. Figure out what you can save right now. Then look at what’s left. It may be possible for you to plan a modest and safe getaway with your family while putting money away for the future. Airplane tickets are super-affordable now, as is gasoline. Research nearby getaways that might make your family happy without breaking your budget.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I am ready to get married and have kids, but I’m only 19. I am still in college, but I think that is what I’d rather be doing. Most of my family members started their families very young, and I feel like it’s the right thing to do. I know I am young and that’s very discouraged nowadays, and I also know that these are important years for growth and self-discovery. Should I go with my heart and try and start a family after graduation, or should I wait? -- Ready for Marriage

DEAR READY FOR MARRIAGE: It’s good to be clear about your intentions for your life. It’s also wise to consider your circumstances and evaluate the timing of your next steps. If your soul is telling you that you want to make a family now, go a step further and imagine what that looks like. Do you have a partner now? If not, what are the qualities that you want in a spouse? Make a list. Attracting the right person for the life you want to build is important. Your list will help you notice people who fit the profile of someone with shared values and interests.

Since you are still in college, can you focus on completing your studies and mapping out what your work life may become? Most people have to work whether they are single or not. It is smart for you to plot a course for how you can support yourself. If you do marry soon, this plan will also have you poised to help support your family.

There’s nothing wrong with getting married and starting a family when you are young. Set yourself up for success by taking the time to envision your future and doing all you can to enable yourself to make it happen.

DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I set boundaries with my dad who wants to reconnect with me? I am 20 years old, and my mom and dad divorced when I was 2. I was raised by my mom, who told me he was really abusive to her. My mother has been controlling and abusive throughout my life, so I don’t know whether or not to trust my dad because I’ve only heard my mom’s perspective. How do I figure out how much to trust him, and whether I should work to reintroduce him into my life in a healthy way? -- Rediscovering Dad

DEAR REDISCOVERING DAD: Take some time to talk to your dad so you can figure out if his intentions are genuine and whether he’s reformed since your parents' divorce. Eighteen years is a lot of time for someone to grow, so cautiously give him a chance, but set boundaries on the amount of time you talk so that it doesn’t end up taking up too much of your life. In this way, you have a set amount of time and space in which you can get to know him and learn whether or not you see the relationship as something you would like to continue.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)