DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to work in TV production, and I loved my job. A few years ago, when the economy was down, I lost my job, and I have been foundering ever since. I now work with a temp agency doing clerical work. I hate this job, but I haven’t been able to find anything else. I think my attitude is getting in my way. Because I really don’t think I should have to be doing this, I sometimes get mad when my boss -- whoever it is on a job -- piles on lots of administrative work. I just don’t like doing it, and I can get snippy. Or sometimes I don’t complete assignments on time. I realize it’s not because I have too much to do. I think it’s because I resent having to do it. This probably sounds crazy, but I can’t seem to shake my negative mindset. Any ideas? -- In a Slump

IN A SLUMP: Most people attach personal value to their jobs. When those jobs change, it can be extremely difficult to feel good about yourself. Losing a job is hard enough, but not being able to find something to do that you love can make the work experience that much harder.

Now that so many people have lost their jobs -- more than 40 million -- your story will soon be similar to countless others. I think the solution may be to rethink the meaning of work. Instead of longing for your job to equal your value, do your best to consider your job as your source of income. Period. This will make it easier for you to be efficient at those administrative functions without feeling crippled because you would prefer not to do them.

Give yourself permission to explore other pursuits that interest you creatively -- on the side. Connect with family and friends, and carve out time to enjoy one another -- even if it’s virtually these days. If you aren’t fully reliant on your job to fulfill you, you may be able to do it better.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been so busy lately that I have not been able to rest well. I feel like I have to take on every odd job that comes my way because I don’t know if I will have work tomorrow. That mentality made sense to me until I started to feel frazzled. How can I decide what to let go of, or should I just keep this up for now, given how precarious the job market is? I’m afraid I am going to burn out. -- Burned Out

DEAR BURNED OUT: Step back and evaluate what you are doing, how much time and energy each project takes, and what income is attached to each project. Ask yourself what you can afford to let go of. Be honest with yourself. If you trust that the universe has enough abundance for you even when you don’t do every single thing that comes your way, you can grow to be more discriminating with your choices.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: For the past few weeks, my apartment has been the focus of somebody’s wrath. Someone has been running up to my door and crashing into it. The sound is frightening, but I have yet to see who’s doing it. By the time I get to the door, the person is long gone, and we don’t have security cameras. Recently, someone spray-painted my door, and on another occasion, someone sprayed what looked like fire extinguisher fluid all over it.

I am getting a security camera to see if I can catch the person. Meanwhile, I thought it was a guy in my building who is always lurking around. I had a neighbor speak to his mother, and he came down to tell me that he hasn’t done anything. I feel bad if I have accused the wrong person, but I don’t know what to do. I do know for a fact that this young man has harassed other neighbors. So I’m not sure if he is telling the truth. -- Vandalized

DEAR VANDALIZED: It’s good that you are getting a security camera. Now you will be able to see firsthand who the culprit is if he or she does it again. Keep your eyes open. Be extra-vigilant when you go outside. If someone is targeting you, it’s important to pay attention to everything and everyone around you. You should call the police and report the incidents as well. But without evidence of who may be doing it, the police will not be able to help you very much.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I want to share my two cents with the reader who was upset that her son wasn’t bathing much. You had suggested taking away electronics, but I’d argue that the current generation is not like we were in the ‘70s and ‘80s. Back then, my son would shrug and not care. Now, cutting him off from his support network -- if he has one -- might be just the thing to tip him over to suicide. Have a conversation. Ask nicely. Ask if something is wrong. Talk about the current situation. Ask if he would like to go anywhere and what you can do. Explain that you all live together, and it would be considerate for him to be clean. Find out if there is something he would like -- less tofu for dinner (for example) -- where you can compromise.

Strongarm techniques don't work on 3-year-olds, and they don't work on older kids either. You don't motivate someone by punishing them. You find something they want and inspire them to get there. -- Mother of a 22-Year-Old

DEAR MOTHER OF A 22-YEAR-OLD: You have said a lot of things. I will add that talking to your family members, of all ages, during this time of quarantine is essential. It is tough to be cooped up at home, and both habits and behaviors can be extreme during this time. Communicate.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother and brother both live in my house with me. I told my mom last year when they moved in that I was going to run the air conditioning all summer, and I did not want the windows or doors open -- period. My mom likes to have her window wide open all year. We ended up arguing about the windows being open while the air conditioning is running pretty much all summer long. I told her this year that I'm going to run the air, windows shut, no discussion about it. She already has been arguing that it shouldn't affect the temperature in the house and has opened her windows anyway. I have a ranch-style house, so it's not like she is in an upstairs bedroom where it is particularly hotter than the rest of the house. I keep the air at 70 degrees.

I don't want to fight with her, but I feel disrespected by her blatant disregard for my simple request. And as far as my brother is concerned, I asked him not to stink up his room with smoking, and his room now reeks of stale cigarette smoke. He has a nice deck attached to his room, so this is really irritating. Am I wrong for feeling this way? How can I ask them both to move out without causing World War III? -- Follow My Rules

DEAR FOLLOW MY RULES: For your brother, you should put your foot down -- hard. No smoking in your house, period. Tell him that if he continues to smoke, he will have to move. I don’t think you should even allow him to smoke on the deck because the smoke will still waft back into the house. Secondhand smoke is deadly.

It’s trickier with your mother. Some people aren’t comfortable without fresh air. Instead of trying to force her to close her window, request that she keep her door closed at all times. In this way, the air conditioner won't be working so hard to cool off her room.

I say the deal breaker is the cigarettes, not the open window.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Your advice to the woman who was concerned about drinking too much during the quarantine was spot on! I'd like to add that it is not necessary to admit you are an alcoholic in order to attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting (online or in person): “The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking." Additionally, there are open AA meetings, which are available to anyone, regardless of their drinking situation, and closed AA meetings, which are for those who want to stop drinking.

Many folks need what these meetings have to offer but may not be ready to consider themselves alcoholics or addicts. I know when I first walked through the doors of AA 15 years ago, I couldn't yet say those words -- "I'm an alcoholic." Ironically, when I finally said out loud what others had known for years, it was quite liberating. -- Recovering Alcoholic

DEAR RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC: Thank you for your welcoming clarification. For anyone who feels drawn to get support with their drinking, AA is immediately available to help you -- even online. Go to aa.org.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)