DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom lives in a retirement community, and she has been quarantined for more than two months now. She can’t come out of her tiny apartment for any reason. They drop off food packages to her each day and pick up the trash every week. We hired an attendant to organize her meds and to give her a shower, so there is one person who puts her eyes on my mom. But she is deteriorating. When we talk on FaceTime, we can see that she’s not doing well. She no longer puts on street clothes. She doesn’t fix her hair or put on makeup. I am so worried that if we aren’t allowed to see her soon, she will perish. But the community is strict, and they will not allow my family to enter the building. What can I do? -- Saving Mom

DEAR SAVING MOM: Contact her doctor and ask for advice. In most cases, medical professionals are saying that it’s safer to keep elders sequestered -- even though they are bored during this period -- because they are isolated from the virus. That said, the risk of depression due to extended social isolation is real. Schedule an in-person doctor’s visit so she can get checked both physically and mentally. If you can take her, that would be one time you can see each other.

Talk to the attendant you’ve hired. If possible, arrange for that person to stay a little longer each day and keep your mother company. Have that person get your mother to tell stories and reminisce. Do the same when you call your mother. Ask her stories that will jog her memory about her life. For more ideas, go to homecareassistance.com/blog/activities-to-keep-seniors-engaged-during-covid-19.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m worried that my best friend is going to be homeless soon. She lost her job at the beginning of the pandemic, but she wasn’t making much money and had very little savings. She did get the stimulus check, but that only bought a few groceries one single time. Right now, she is safe because the governor has suspended evictions, but what happens this summer?

I am wondering if I should invite her to come and stay with me. I have a small house with very little room, but it would put a roof over her head. Obviously, that isn’t ideal, but I can’t watch my friend be put out on the street. If I do bring her into my home, I feel like I have to establish house rules. She and I live very differently. I don’t want to strain our friendship or drive us crazy. What do you think? -- Rescuing a Friend

DEAR RESCUING A FRIEND: Now is the time to be generous with our loved ones. If you can bring your best friend in, that would be a blessing. Talk to her about the idea. Be honest: You know it won’t be easy, but she is welcome. If she wants to come, talk about how you run your home and what your expectations of her would be. Agree that you will talk through any questions or issues as they arise. Establish a month down the line when you will revisit how long she will stay.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been staying at home for weeks, only venturing out occasionally to go to the grocery store, although I have mostly organized that for delivery. Now that things are loosening up, I’m still concerned about how much I should go outside. I have a couple of medical conditions, and I am very worried that if I catch this disease, I won’t survive. I haven’t told anyone in my neighborhood or my job that I have these health challenges. I don’t want people to look at me with pity. I manage my life just fine, thank you. But I don’t know how well I will do if I put myself out in the general population.

One neighbor keeps asking me to take a walk with her. She has been great about walking a few miles every day. I, on the other hand, have sat around for weeks, and my body is not happy about that. I do need to get more exercise. I’m just not sure what to do. How should I handle this? -- Weighing the Odds

DEAR WEIGHING THE ODDS: Schedule a call with your doctor and discuss your health and your activities to determine what he or she recommends. Review your health challenges and how you have been taking care of yourself during this period of quarantine. Talk about your lack of exercise. Share any details you know about your job and the plan to reopen. Provide all of the facts so that your doctor can give you advice based on a clear picture of your life.

What I have read is that doctors are continuing to recommend that people wear masks the entire time they are out of the home; that they keep a distance of at least 6 feet from others; that they avoid touching their faces; and that they regularly wash their hands for at least 20 seconds. If you do that every time you go outside, you will reduce the chances of contracting the virus. If you get the green light for walking with your neighbor, remember to keep your distance. Be vigilant.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My father passed away a few years ago, and we just got around to packing up the rest of his belongings because my mother decided to sell her house. While we were going through the things in his office, we found a box with letters in it that turned out to be from another woman. It turns out he had an affair for an extended period of time, as detailed in this pack of letters. My mother immediately took the letters away and has refused to talk about it, but she seemed visibly upset. Should we press her on this? I am curious about this new discovery, and I wish I could actually read the letters, but she has them now. Should my siblings and I query her on this situation, and would it be wrong for me to ask if I can read them? -- Troubling Discovery

DEAR TROUBLING DISCOVERY: Your father’s affair is none of your business. You should not ask to read the letters. You should not press her about this at all. If she wants to talk about it, she will open up to you. For now, leave it alone.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend the other day. He was pressing her to take topless photos to send to him. They are seniors in high school, and I know that they have engaged in some degree of intimacy. I’m not so happy about it, but I know this is true. But sending nude pictures is a bad idea and will likely lead to embarrassment -- or worse -- for her. How can I get her to listen to me when she already thinks she is grown? -- Drawing the Line

DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: Ideally you should be in constant conversation with your daughter about life choices and cause and effect. As she is growing up, she needs to have your family’s values repeated to her often so that when she makes decisions, she can hear your voice in her head.

In this case, be direct. Tell her that you overheard her conversation with her boyfriend. Point out that you weren’t snooping, but you did hear it, and you are concerned. Explain to her that sending nude pictures via the phone or computer can be dangerous for a number of reasons. For starters, once the photos leave her device, she no longer has control over them. Anyone may potentially see them, leaving her vulnerable to ill-meaning people. If discovered sometime down the line by the wrong people, it could hurt her chances to get into the college of her choice or the internship or job she has been longing for.

She probably doesn’t know that it is also considered child pornography if she is under 18, and both she and her boyfriend could get arrested if it were ever discovered by the police. Strongly suggest that she not take this action. It will be bad for her and her boyfriend in the long run.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m really concerned about how much I drink. Ever since we have been quarantined at home, I have been drinking more than ever. I know it’s too much, but I can’t seem to stop myself. I have even taken to ordering from my local liquor store and having them deliver once a week. I know it’s because I’m bored and lonely, but I need to stop. What do you recommend, given that I am stuck in my house? -- Alcoholic

DEAR ALCOHOLIC: Congratulations on taking the first step to helping yourself. It takes a lot to admit your vulnerabilities. By stating what you know to be a problem and asking for help, you are setting yourself up for success. The good news is that there are online resources that can support you. A trusted source is Alcoholics Anonymous, an organization of people who are working to become sober and stay that way by talking to each other about their lives and their challenges. They now offer virtual meetings. Go to aa.org/pages/en_US/options-for-meeting-online to sign up. You can also call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration Helpline at 800-662-HELP, or go to their website for support, samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline. Good luck to you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)