DEAR HARRIETTE: Some of my friends have been trying to get me to participate in virtual cocktail parties with them. It just seems silly to me, sitting around at home looking at my computer screen and drinking remotely with a group of people. Yuck! My best friend keeps urging me to try it. She reminded me that we used to have regular get-togethers with our friend group, and this will be as close as we can get to that. I see her point, but I don’t think it will be fun. It seems contrived to me. How can I back out of this without hurting her feelings? -- Grouchy

DEAR GROUCHY: I often talk about the need to strike a balance between technology and humanity. Here is a time when I actually love the fact that we can see each other and enjoy each other’s company from a distance through technology. I strongly disagree with you on this one. You should try it. You can start by attending a pre-planned party with friends who are going to get together. You can set yourself up with food and drink, or just be present and sit and talk with them. Choose to have an open mind and cherish being "together" as it exists today.

Like any other time, if you decide to do it again, you should choose your friend group well. Curate a party that features an eclectic group of people you would like to engage, and put your all into it. I think you will be surprisingly pleased.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A woman I know and care about very much just lost her father to COVID-19. I am so sorry for her. He lived in a nursing home, so she couldn’t even see him for the past month when he was doing poorly. He was an elderly man, but his daughter is young and vital and very popular. So many people want to go to his funeral to honor his life, but they can’t. The law says that only 10 people can gather. This is so depressing. How can we support our friend during this time of loss? Under any other circumstances, there would have been hundreds of loved ones in attendance. -- Mourning During COVID-19

DEAR MOURNING DURING COVID-19: Loss during this period is extremely tough because it is impossible to grieve in the ways that we once did. Hugging, crying, touching, physically consoling -- they cannot happen at this time. It is true that the survivors are the ones who need that consolation. Your popular friend would surely appreciate having more than 10 people present at her father’s homegoing.

There is a chance that you can join remotely. Reach out to your friend and tell her that you and many other friends want to be there for her. Ask her if there is a chance, through the funeral parlor, that the service can be live-streamed. This is a popular option right now so that loved ones can complete the bond of love and release for a life well-lived. If this is possible, spread the word to friends. If not, invite friends to send notes and greeting cards that express your sadness about her father’s passing.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just received the call that I have been waiting for all my life. The man I have loved more than any other called me to profess his love for me. He told me I was his family, for real. That all of his family knows about me. That he loves me from the depths of his being. I have loved him since I was in college, but he was a player and never made time for me to be his partner. He was respectful and did not dog me the way he did some of the women in his life, but he also never committed.

I don’t know what to do with this new information. I am married and have been for many years. I have a decent marriage, but nothing compares to what I feel for my true love. Should I find out if this is real? And, if so, then what? Part of me wonders if that call was a drunk dial, though he didn’t sound drunk. I am afraid to believe what I heard, but I did hear it. -- True Love

DEAR TRUE LOVE: Ever heard of too good to be true? I’m sorry to tell you, but that’s what this sounds like. Or you could go with another saying -- "too little, too late." On one hand, it’s lovely that you got to hear what you have hoped to hear for so long. On the other, how selfish. He knows you are married. He knows that you are unavailable. He likely knows that you have loved him for years.

I would question why he is declaring his love at this time. Is he ill? Is he lonely? Is he now an elder needing your care? Also, ask yourself what you intend to do with this information. Would you leave your husband if this man told you he is ready for you to be in his life as his partner? Do your best to think through all of the scenarios as real-life options. Evaluate the risks and realities. Ask him why he is telling you this now. If you are unable to fully commit to your husband because you still care for him, then you might want to walk in his direction, but do so with caution. Chances are tremendous that your feelings will get hurt.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am so tired right now. Ever since we have been working from home because of the stay-at-home orders, I feel like I have worked twice as hard. I am constantly on teleconferences in which I have to talk for hours and be seen thanks to the video feature. I am so tired of talking that I can hardly find my voice to speak to my husband when the day is finally over. There is no balance, and no end in sight. I don’t think I can keep this up. Before, I at least had time to stand up and walk around for a few minutes. How can I draw the line now? I know I should be grateful for my job -- and I am. But this is unsustainable. I need to talk to my boss, but what should I say? -- No End in Sight

DEAR NO END IN SIGHT: Talk to your boss. Explain your state of mind and body. Ask how your boss is doing. Chances are, you are not alone. Ask for some guidelines on working in this new reality. Your question may end up helping your entire team.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two roommates, but both of them took off after the illness started spreading in our town. We live in Brooklyn. Now that a lot of time has passed and they are staying with their parents, they want to sublet their rooms so that they will not have so many bills. I am nervous about this. I can’t afford to pay for the whole apartment, but I don't want to bring unknown people into what is currently a coronavirus-free space. I want to make them get tested before they move in if I have to take them. I’m not sure how that works, though. I don’t think there are any laws on this yet. But do you think it’s worth asking? -- Testing

DEAR TESTING: Appeal to your roommates’ humanity. Point out that they left the city in order to flee the virus. Even though it exists everywhere, it is concentrated in New York City, and even more specifically in Brooklyn. Ask them to require any potential new roommates to get tested before being allowed to move in. Though it is not easy to get tested, there are testing sites being set up in the city. Research where these people can get tested, and share that information with your roommates. Further, speak to your landlord about any requirements that the building may have put in place to keep you all safe. You may find backup right there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My birthday is coming up, and I’m feeling kind of sad. I usually host a big party, but I wonder if I can do anything at all this year. I live by myself and feel nervous about hosting a party. I think the rules say that we can have up to 10 people together as long as we practice social distancing. But my gut says that’s a bad idea. How can I make sure that people will stay far enough away from one another? -- Birthday Celebration

DEAR BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION: First, be happy and grateful that you are reaching another year. As you know, tomorrow is not promised. That said, be creative and find your joy. Yes, you can host a gathering of 10 people, but is the space big enough for everybody to practice safe distancing the whole time? I doubt it. It’s not worth it to put your friends and loved ones -- and yourself -- in harm’s way just to have an in-person party.

Instead, consider using technology -- like FaceTime, Skype, Zoom or another video streaming service -- to connect to friends remotely. You can plan a party where people serve themselves treats and where you all get to talk to each other and share stories and love from a distance. Ask your friends to write you notes that they send via email or text. Use social media to host a virtual party. You can have fun and engage with your loved ones safely. You just have to decide that you will adjust to life as it is now and celebrate accordingly.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)