DEAR HARRIETTE: I just received the call that I have been waiting for all my life. The man I have loved more than any other called me to profess his love for me. He told me I was his family, for real. That all of his family knows about me. That he loves me from the depths of his being. I have loved him since I was in college, but he was a player and never made time for me to be his partner. He was respectful and did not dog me the way he did some of the women in his life, but he also never committed.

I don’t know what to do with this new information. I am married and have been for many years. I have a decent marriage, but nothing compares to what I feel for my true love. Should I find out if this is real? And, if so, then what? Part of me wonders if that call was a drunk dial, though he didn’t sound drunk. I am afraid to believe what I heard, but I did hear it. -- True Love

DEAR TRUE LOVE: Ever heard of too good to be true? I’m sorry to tell you, but that’s what this sounds like. Or you could go with another saying -- "too little, too late." On one hand, it’s lovely that you got to hear what you have hoped to hear for so long. On the other, how selfish. He knows you are married. He knows that you are unavailable. He likely knows that you have loved him for years.

I would question why he is declaring his love at this time. Is he ill? Is he lonely? Is he now an elder needing your care? Also, ask yourself what you intend to do with this information. Would you leave your husband if this man told you he is ready for you to be in his life as his partner? Do your best to think through all of the scenarios as real-life options. Evaluate the risks and realities. Ask him why he is telling you this now. If you are unable to fully commit to your husband because you still care for him, then you might want to walk in his direction, but do so with caution. Chances are tremendous that your feelings will get hurt.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am so tired right now. Ever since we have been working from home because of the stay-at-home orders, I feel like I have worked twice as hard. I am constantly on teleconferences in which I have to talk for hours and be seen thanks to the video feature. I am so tired of talking that I can hardly find my voice to speak to my husband when the day is finally over. There is no balance, and no end in sight. I don’t think I can keep this up. Before, I at least had time to stand up and walk around for a few minutes. How can I draw the line now? I know I should be grateful for my job -- and I am. But this is unsustainable. I need to talk to my boss, but what should I say? -- No End in Sight

DEAR NO END IN SIGHT: Talk to your boss. Explain your state of mind and body. Ask how your boss is doing. Chances are, you are not alone. Ask for some guidelines on working in this new reality. Your question may end up helping your entire team.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two roommates, but both of them took off after the illness started spreading in our town. We live in Brooklyn. Now that a lot of time has passed and they are staying with their parents, they want to sublet their rooms so that they will not have so many bills. I am nervous about this. I can’t afford to pay for the whole apartment, but I don't want to bring unknown people into what is currently a coronavirus-free space. I want to make them get tested before they move in if I have to take them. I’m not sure how that works, though. I don’t think there are any laws on this yet. But do you think it’s worth asking? -- Testing

DEAR TESTING: Appeal to your roommates’ humanity. Point out that they left the city in order to flee the virus. Even though it exists everywhere, it is concentrated in New York City, and even more specifically in Brooklyn. Ask them to require any potential new roommates to get tested before being allowed to move in. Though it is not easy to get tested, there are testing sites being set up in the city. Research where these people can get tested, and share that information with your roommates. Further, speak to your landlord about any requirements that the building may have put in place to keep you all safe. You may find backup right there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My birthday is coming up, and I’m feeling kind of sad. I usually host a big party, but I wonder if I can do anything at all this year. I live by myself and feel nervous about hosting a party. I think the rules say that we can have up to 10 people together as long as we practice social distancing. But my gut says that’s a bad idea. How can I make sure that people will stay far enough away from one another? -- Birthday Celebration

DEAR BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION: First, be happy and grateful that you are reaching another year. As you know, tomorrow is not promised. That said, be creative and find your joy. Yes, you can host a gathering of 10 people, but is the space big enough for everybody to practice safe distancing the whole time? I doubt it. It’s not worth it to put your friends and loved ones -- and yourself -- in harm’s way just to have an in-person party.

Instead, consider using technology -- like FaceTime, Skype, Zoom or another video streaming service -- to connect to friends remotely. You can plan a party where people serve themselves treats and where you all get to talk to each other and share stories and love from a distance. Ask your friends to write you notes that they send via email or text. Use social media to host a virtual party. You can have fun and engage with your loved ones safely. You just have to decide that you will adjust to life as it is now and celebrate accordingly.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was scheduled to have surgery to repair a hernia when the COVID-19 virus broke out. Every elective surgery was canceled, including mine. I was going to have this surgery because where the hernia is feels uncomfortable, and the doctor recommended it. This isn’t like a boob job or something -- not to put anybody down for what they do. But this seemed essential for me. In my town, they are now allowing elective surgeries. I need to have this hernia repaired, but I am worried about going into a hospital with COVID-19 possibly lurking. How do you know when it’s safe to go? -- Elective Surgery

DEAR ELECTIVE SURGERY: Talk to your doctor. Express all of your concerns, and find out what his or her recommendation is under the circumstances. Also, do your own research. Find out if the facility where you will have the procedure has seen cases of COVID-19. If so, are there still coronavirus patients?

Know that elective surgery is the way that doctors make money, so they are likely eager to reopen their practices and offer as many elective surgeries as they can safely handle. With that in mind, you will need to weigh the risk versus the need. Ask your doctor how long you can safely put off this surgery. It could be that there is little risk if you delay it for a few months. On the flip side, if you do it soon, your recovery time won’t be a problem for work since you have to stay home anyway.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I haven’t gotten my stimulus check from the government for COVID-19 relief yet. I started asking around to see if any of my friends had gotten theirs yet, only to get embarrassed. Most of them blew me off, saying they make too much money to be eligible. I have a good life and all, but I don’t make a lot of money. That never seemed to be an issue within my friend group, but this simple question put me in an awkward situation. Now my friends know that I am broke. I feel embarrassed in a way that I never did before. At the same time, I need that check. How should I handle this? -- Embarrassed

DEAR EMBARRASSED: While many Americans have received their stimulus payments, there are still millions of people who are waiting. You can go to the IRS website to find out your status at irs.gov/coronavirus/get-my-payment. Be aware that while it seems simple, the website is automated, so you can’t ask questions. If you are unsuccessful in figuring it out, you can write to your member of Congress to ask for assistance.

As far as your friends go, chances are, you are more embarrassed than they were. Your reality of needing that money made you hypersensitive to the differences between you and your friends. It is likely that they haven’t given it a second thought. Stop worrying about what they think about you, and focus instead on taking care of yourself. If these people are true friends, they aren’t going anywhere just because they learned that you need some cash.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)