DEAR HARRIETTE: I was scheduled to have surgery to repair a hernia when the COVID-19 virus broke out. Every elective surgery was canceled, including mine. I was going to have this surgery because where the hernia is feels uncomfortable, and the doctor recommended it. This isn’t like a boob job or something -- not to put anybody down for what they do. But this seemed essential for me. In my town, they are now allowing elective surgeries. I need to have this hernia repaired, but I am worried about going into a hospital with COVID-19 possibly lurking. How do you know when it’s safe to go? -- Elective Surgery

DEAR ELECTIVE SURGERY: Talk to your doctor. Express all of your concerns, and find out what his or her recommendation is under the circumstances. Also, do your own research. Find out if the facility where you will have the procedure has seen cases of COVID-19. If so, are there still coronavirus patients?

Know that elective surgery is the way that doctors make money, so they are likely eager to reopen their practices and offer as many elective surgeries as they can safely handle. With that in mind, you will need to weigh the risk versus the need. Ask your doctor how long you can safely put off this surgery. It could be that there is little risk if you delay it for a few months. On the flip side, if you do it soon, your recovery time won’t be a problem for work since you have to stay home anyway.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I haven’t gotten my stimulus check from the government for COVID-19 relief yet. I started asking around to see if any of my friends had gotten theirs yet, only to get embarrassed. Most of them blew me off, saying they make too much money to be eligible. I have a good life and all, but I don’t make a lot of money. That never seemed to be an issue within my friend group, but this simple question put me in an awkward situation. Now my friends know that I am broke. I feel embarrassed in a way that I never did before. At the same time, I need that check. How should I handle this? -- Embarrassed

DEAR EMBARRASSED: While many Americans have received their stimulus payments, there are still millions of people who are waiting. You can go to the IRS website to find out your status at irs.gov/coronavirus/get-my-payment. Be aware that while it seems simple, the website is automated, so you can’t ask questions. If you are unsuccessful in figuring it out, you can write to your member of Congress to ask for assistance.

As far as your friends go, chances are, you are more embarrassed than they were. Your reality of needing that money made you hypersensitive to the differences between you and your friends. It is likely that they haven’t given it a second thought. Stop worrying about what they think about you, and focus instead on taking care of yourself. If these people are true friends, they aren’t going anywhere just because they learned that you need some cash.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have quite a few cashmere sweaters that I wear in the winter. Even as we have been at home, I keep wearing them, and it’s time to get them cleaned. But the dry cleaners near me are all closed. It is still cool enough where I live to continue wearing them, but they are soiled. I have heard that you can hand-wash cashmere, but I’m nervous. I would be so mad if they shrank or lost their color. Even if I’m not going to wear them anymore this season, I don’t want to put them away dirty -- they will be sure to be eaten by moths. What do you recommend? -- Sweater Cleaning

DEAR SWEATER CLEANING: I have good news for you: In most instances, you can safely hand-wash cashmere. In fact, by doing so, you may even prolong the life of the garment. Use cold water and a very gentle soap. Do not wring the item so that you avoid stretching it out of shape. Do not put the garment in the dryer. Instead, lay it flat and block it in its natural shape. While you do not need to wash sweaters frequently in general, you can keep cashmere clean by following this simple method. For more details, go to realsimple.com/beauty-fashion/clothing-care/how-care-cashmere.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every year since I have had a job -- which is more than 20 years -- I have taken a trip out of the country for my birthday. I was not even able to go down the street this year, thanks to the virus. I am so mad and sad. I save all year long for this trip, and I usually go by myself. It’s my way of seeing the world and getting out of my daily routine.

This year, I did say a prayer of gratitude that I am healthy and made it to another birthday. But it also made me so sad. Life as we know it seems to be gone. I don’t know what to do. How can I find joy when we are living in quarantine? It didn’t feel like a happy birthday at all. -- How To Celebrate

DEAR HOW TO CELEBRATE: Blessings to you for completing another journey around the sun. You have lived to see another year! Many people cannot say that. Patience is what you need now. If you take a look at history, you will see that disease, natural disasters, famine and other tragedies have hit the world and left. With each wave of disaster, some people die, most people’s lives change, but life goes on. Today it seems like the world has come to a screeching halt, and life seems to be on hold.

Consider it more like a pause. This will not last forever. People will begin to travel again. Will it be different? I’m sure it will, and we will all adjust. Have faith that your journey is not over. You will soon see what is in store for your life. During this time when you are not free to travel, get your house in order -- both your actual house and your inner house. What can you do now to improve your life? Focus on that -- on the inner journey -- until such time as you are able to explore the outside world again.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who posts on social media regularly. Over the past few months, he has lost about 40 pounds. He works out every day and looks amazing. I am inspired by him -- but not enough to actually get up and do anything for myself.

When I saw his picture today with what looks like a burgeoning six-pack where he used to have pudge, I nearly lost it. Yes, I am jealous. I don’t mean to be, but I am not motivated at all to get up and do anything. I can’t figure out how he got so pumped to work out and I didn’t. Now that I am stuck at home, it’s only gotten worse. I probably have gained 20 pounds as he continues to lose. What can I do to turn myself around? -- Need Motivation

DEAR NEED MOTIVATION: Go stand in front of the mirror. Look closely at yourself, and ask if you deserve to be healthy. Look long and hard at yourself. The motivation has to come from within. Something happened in your friend’s life to jump-start his fitness routine. What can it be for you? Ask yourself if your life is worth saving and strengthening. Really. Encourage yourself to do one thing each day that will benefit your health. Even now when you are at home, you can choose to make smarter choices that will be good for your body. That may include drinking more water and fewer sugary drinks; getting up and stretching before you sit down; or putting on a mask or face covering and taking a 15-minute walk in your neighborhood. Start small and safe. You can begin to improve your health.

You may want to contact your friend. Ask him what happened to get him started. His personal story may inspire you. To learn some easy at-home exercise routines, check out active.com/fitness/articles/20-minute-bodyweight-workout-for-weight-loss.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend was just diagnosed with diabetes. He was very sick but is on the mend now. I have been talking to him a lot, kind of like a cheerleader. What I haven’t done yet is reveal that I, too, have diabetes. I am a very private person, and I don’t talk about it at all. I take my medicine and follow directions to the best of my abilities. Am I being a hypocrite by not sharing that part of my story with him? I have been a good listener for him. He sounds like he appreciates my attentiveness, but deep inside I know that I have left out a pretty significant detail in my own story. Should I tell him? -- Keeping Secrets

DEAR KEEPING SECRETS: You can support your friend without talking about your own health. That is your prerogative. Being a good listener is invaluable, and I bet he appreciates you. What you may also want to do is ask yourself why you have chosen not to tell your story. It can be helpful to talk with other people about your health journey. When times get tough, having someone who can also hear your side of things may inspire you to be more vigilant in your health regimen. Explore why you have chosen to remain silent. Even if you decide not to tell this friend, you should find another confidant. When you talk about your challenges, you can grow stronger.

By the way, that confidant could be the social worker from your health care provider’s office. Next time you get a check-in call from them, answer the phone!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)