life

Reader Needs Sweater Suggestions

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | May 8th, 2020 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have quite a few cashmere sweaters that I wear in the winter. Even as we have been at home, I keep wearing them, and it’s time to get them cleaned. But the dry cleaners near me are all closed. It is still cool enough where I live to continue wearing them, but they are soiled. I have heard that you can hand-wash cashmere, but I’m nervous. I would be so mad if they shrank or lost their color. Even if I’m not going to wear them anymore this season, I don’t want to put them away dirty -- they will be sure to be eaten by moths. What do you recommend? -- Sweater Cleaning

DEAR SWEATER CLEANING: I have good news for you: In most instances, you can safely hand-wash cashmere. In fact, by doing so, you may even prolong the life of the garment. Use cold water and a very gentle soap. Do not wring the item so that you avoid stretching it out of shape. Do not put the garment in the dryer. Instead, lay it flat and block it in its natural shape. While you do not need to wash sweaters frequently in general, you can keep cashmere clean by following this simple method. For more details, go to realsimple.com/beauty-fashion/clothing-care/how-care-cashmere.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for May 08, 2020

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | May 8th, 2020 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every year since I have had a job -- which is more than 20 years -- I have taken a trip out of the country for my birthday. I was not even able to go down the street this year, thanks to the virus. I am so mad and sad. I save all year long for this trip, and I usually go by myself. It’s my way of seeing the world and getting out of my daily routine.

This year, I did say a prayer of gratitude that I am healthy and made it to another birthday. But it also made me so sad. Life as we know it seems to be gone. I don’t know what to do. How can I find joy when we are living in quarantine? It didn’t feel like a happy birthday at all. -- How To Celebrate

DEAR HOW TO CELEBRATE: Blessings to you for completing another journey around the sun. You have lived to see another year! Many people cannot say that. Patience is what you need now. If you take a look at history, you will see that disease, natural disasters, famine and other tragedies have hit the world and left. With each wave of disaster, some people die, most people’s lives change, but life goes on. Today it seems like the world has come to a screeching halt, and life seems to be on hold.

Consider it more like a pause. This will not last forever. People will begin to travel again. Will it be different? I’m sure it will, and we will all adjust. Have faith that your journey is not over. You will soon see what is in store for your life. During this time when you are not free to travel, get your house in order -- both your actual house and your inner house. What can you do now to improve your life? Focus on that -- on the inner journey -- until such time as you are able to explore the outside world again.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

life

Reader Needs Motivation To Get in Shape

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | May 7th, 2020 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who posts on social media regularly. Over the past few months, he has lost about 40 pounds. He works out every day and looks amazing. I am inspired by him -- but not enough to actually get up and do anything for myself.

When I saw his picture today with what looks like a burgeoning six-pack where he used to have pudge, I nearly lost it. Yes, I am jealous. I don’t mean to be, but I am not motivated at all to get up and do anything. I can’t figure out how he got so pumped to work out and I didn’t. Now that I am stuck at home, it’s only gotten worse. I probably have gained 20 pounds as he continues to lose. What can I do to turn myself around? -- Need Motivation

DEAR NEED MOTIVATION: Go stand in front of the mirror. Look closely at yourself, and ask if you deserve to be healthy. Look long and hard at yourself. The motivation has to come from within. Something happened in your friend’s life to jump-start his fitness routine. What can it be for you? Ask yourself if your life is worth saving and strengthening. Really. Encourage yourself to do one thing each day that will benefit your health. Even now when you are at home, you can choose to make smarter choices that will be good for your body. That may include drinking more water and fewer sugary drinks; getting up and stretching before you sit down; or putting on a mask or face covering and taking a 15-minute walk in your neighborhood. Start small and safe. You can begin to improve your health.

You may want to contact your friend. Ask him what happened to get him started. His personal story may inspire you. To learn some easy at-home exercise routines, check out active.com/fitness/articles/20-minute-bodyweight-workout-for-weight-loss.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for May 07, 2020

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | May 7th, 2020 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend was just diagnosed with diabetes. He was very sick but is on the mend now. I have been talking to him a lot, kind of like a cheerleader. What I haven’t done yet is reveal that I, too, have diabetes. I am a very private person, and I don’t talk about it at all. I take my medicine and follow directions to the best of my abilities. Am I being a hypocrite by not sharing that part of my story with him? I have been a good listener for him. He sounds like he appreciates my attentiveness, but deep inside I know that I have left out a pretty significant detail in my own story. Should I tell him? -- Keeping Secrets

DEAR KEEPING SECRETS: You can support your friend without talking about your own health. That is your prerogative. Being a good listener is invaluable, and I bet he appreciates you. What you may also want to do is ask yourself why you have chosen not to tell your story. It can be helpful to talk with other people about your health journey. When times get tough, having someone who can also hear your side of things may inspire you to be more vigilant in your health regimen. Explore why you have chosen to remain silent. Even if you decide not to tell this friend, you should find another confidant. When you talk about your challenges, you can grow stronger.

By the way, that confidant could be the social worker from your health care provider’s office. Next time you get a check-in call from them, answer the phone!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

life

Reader Wants To Purge Wardrobe

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | May 6th, 2020 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: Now that we are not going out at all, I am realizing that I have way too many clothes. I do love fashion, but since I have nowhere to go, I have been taking a visual inventory of my wardrobe, and it’s ridiculously large. I want to purge. There’s absolutely no reason anybody should have all of this stuff. Part of me just wants to dump it. The practical side says I should hold on to essentials because when the world does open up, I will need some basic things. I don’t want to give away too much and have to end up making new purchases. How can I figure out what to discard? -- Let It Go

DEAR LET IT GO: A tried-and-true recommendation for figuring out what clothing to keep and what to discard is to first try it on. If it doesn’t fit, let it go. Don’t trick yourself into waiting until you lose weight to wear it again. Second, if you haven’t worn the item in over a year, it no longer serves you. If you want to follow the wisdom of master organizer Marie Kondo, you can thank your clothing for serving you well as you fold it and put it in a container to donate. Expressing gratitude for the garment’s service in your life may help you to release it for someone else to enjoy.

I strongly suggest that you give yourself a timeline to complete this task. If you tackle a little every day, you will make progress.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for May 06, 2020

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | May 6th, 2020 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: My next-door neighbor is a hairdresser. Even though hair salons are officially shut down, I have noticed a steady stream of people -- men and women -- going into his house to get their hair done. I am appalled. As I sit in my house trying to follow the rules, I’m sure this is unsafe. I think I should report him to the authorities, but I’m not sure. I never see more than one person going there at a time -- and I have sat and watched for hours. (I have nothing else to do!) I have also seen him wearing a mask and gloves. But still, it’s just wrong that he is doing something that we were told is unsafe. Should I turn him in? -- Busted

DEAR BUSTED: While it is true that your neighbor is not supposed to be doing hair right now, it sounds like he has set up the safest way of handling his business. Let me be clear: I am not condoning his behavior, nor do I recommend that anyone take a cue from him and open any kind of personal service at home. But I don’t know that you need to report him to the police.

Our frontline service people, who include police officers, are stretched thin in many cities across the country because they are supporting the needs of keeping our country healthy. That includes breaking up large gatherings, taking care of petty crimes, ensuring people remain in check as they lose their jobs, and making it possible for sick people to get to health care professionals when needed. If you notice that your neighbor stops following the precautions you mentioned -- wearing a mask and gloves -- then you should call the police. Otherwise, you may want to stop obsessing over him. Close the curtain.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Next up: More trusted advice from...

  • Last Word in Astrology for May 20, 2022
  • Last Word in Astrology for May 19, 2022
  • Last Word in Astrology for May 18, 2022
  • Father Not Certain How to Reconnect with Daughter from First Marriage
  • Recession Worries Makes LW Fearful of Starting a Family
  • LW Worried Sister's Sharp, Stubborn Personality Will Ruin a Good Thing
  • Aiding Animal Refugees
  • Contented Cats
  • Pale Gums: What They Mean
UExpressLifeParentingHomePetsHealthAstrologyOdditiesA-Z
AboutContactSubmissionsTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy
©2022 Andrews McMeel Universal