DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who posts on social media regularly. Over the past few months, he has lost about 40 pounds. He works out every day and looks amazing. I am inspired by him -- but not enough to actually get up and do anything for myself.

When I saw his picture today with what looks like a burgeoning six-pack where he used to have pudge, I nearly lost it. Yes, I am jealous. I don’t mean to be, but I am not motivated at all to get up and do anything. I can’t figure out how he got so pumped to work out and I didn’t. Now that I am stuck at home, it’s only gotten worse. I probably have gained 20 pounds as he continues to lose. What can I do to turn myself around? -- Need Motivation

DEAR NEED MOTIVATION: Go stand in front of the mirror. Look closely at yourself, and ask if you deserve to be healthy. Look long and hard at yourself. The motivation has to come from within. Something happened in your friend’s life to jump-start his fitness routine. What can it be for you? Ask yourself if your life is worth saving and strengthening. Really. Encourage yourself to do one thing each day that will benefit your health. Even now when you are at home, you can choose to make smarter choices that will be good for your body. That may include drinking more water and fewer sugary drinks; getting up and stretching before you sit down; or putting on a mask or face covering and taking a 15-minute walk in your neighborhood. Start small and safe. You can begin to improve your health.

You may want to contact your friend. Ask him what happened to get him started. His personal story may inspire you. To learn some easy at-home exercise routines, check out active.com/fitness/articles/20-minute-bodyweight-workout-for-weight-loss.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend was just diagnosed with diabetes. He was very sick but is on the mend now. I have been talking to him a lot, kind of like a cheerleader. What I haven’t done yet is reveal that I, too, have diabetes. I am a very private person, and I don’t talk about it at all. I take my medicine and follow directions to the best of my abilities. Am I being a hypocrite by not sharing that part of my story with him? I have been a good listener for him. He sounds like he appreciates my attentiveness, but deep inside I know that I have left out a pretty significant detail in my own story. Should I tell him? -- Keeping Secrets

DEAR KEEPING SECRETS: You can support your friend without talking about your own health. That is your prerogative. Being a good listener is invaluable, and I bet he appreciates you. What you may also want to do is ask yourself why you have chosen not to tell your story. It can be helpful to talk with other people about your health journey. When times get tough, having someone who can also hear your side of things may inspire you to be more vigilant in your health regimen. Explore why you have chosen to remain silent. Even if you decide not to tell this friend, you should find another confidant. When you talk about your challenges, you can grow stronger.

By the way, that confidant could be the social worker from your health care provider’s office. Next time you get a check-in call from them, answer the phone!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Now that we are not going out at all, I am realizing that I have way too many clothes. I do love fashion, but since I have nowhere to go, I have been taking a visual inventory of my wardrobe, and it’s ridiculously large. I want to purge. There’s absolutely no reason anybody should have all of this stuff. Part of me just wants to dump it. The practical side says I should hold on to essentials because when the world does open up, I will need some basic things. I don’t want to give away too much and have to end up making new purchases. How can I figure out what to discard? -- Let It Go

DEAR LET IT GO: A tried-and-true recommendation for figuring out what clothing to keep and what to discard is to first try it on. If it doesn’t fit, let it go. Don’t trick yourself into waiting until you lose weight to wear it again. Second, if you haven’t worn the item in over a year, it no longer serves you. If you want to follow the wisdom of master organizer Marie Kondo, you can thank your clothing for serving you well as you fold it and put it in a container to donate. Expressing gratitude for the garment’s service in your life may help you to release it for someone else to enjoy.

I strongly suggest that you give yourself a timeline to complete this task. If you tackle a little every day, you will make progress.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My next-door neighbor is a hairdresser. Even though hair salons are officially shut down, I have noticed a steady stream of people -- men and women -- going into his house to get their hair done. I am appalled. As I sit in my house trying to follow the rules, I’m sure this is unsafe. I think I should report him to the authorities, but I’m not sure. I never see more than one person going there at a time -- and I have sat and watched for hours. (I have nothing else to do!) I have also seen him wearing a mask and gloves. But still, it’s just wrong that he is doing something that we were told is unsafe. Should I turn him in? -- Busted

DEAR BUSTED: While it is true that your neighbor is not supposed to be doing hair right now, it sounds like he has set up the safest way of handling his business. Let me be clear: I am not condoning his behavior, nor do I recommend that anyone take a cue from him and open any kind of personal service at home. But I don’t know that you need to report him to the police.

Our frontline service people, who include police officers, are stretched thin in many cities across the country because they are supporting the needs of keeping our country healthy. That includes breaking up large gatherings, taking care of petty crimes, ensuring people remain in check as they lose their jobs, and making it possible for sick people to get to health care professionals when needed. If you notice that your neighbor stops following the precautions you mentioned -- wearing a mask and gloves -- then you should call the police. Otherwise, you may want to stop obsessing over him. Close the curtain.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have three grown children, and we have all been living together again since the government issued a stay-at-home order. In some ways, it has been nice having them around. We are getting to talk about all kinds of things that didn’t ever come up on our short check-in phone calls before. On the other hand, it has been tough with all of the personalities. My husband and I don’t get much quiet time like we used to enjoy since the kids moved out. I feel like we need to enforce a few more house rules so that we don’t end up driving one another crazy. Do you have any ideas? We live in a small house, so it is hard for us to be completely separated. -- Family Time

DEAR FAMILY TIME: Draw upon your children’s creativity. Have a family meeting that you call a brainstorming session. Tell your family how grateful you are that you are together and healthy. Point out what you are enjoying about being in their company. Then state that you believe that it is also hard at times because it can feel like too much togetherness. Tell them you want to come up with some ideas that allow you to each have a bit more space and privacy. Ask them if they can think of any ideas.

Some suggestions include: scheduling bathroom time so that each person can enjoy the bathroom alone; rotating meal preparation and cleanup; observing quiet time with no audible TV or music (you can use headphones); reserving an area for alone time, and scheduling it for each person.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is graduating from high school this year, and I feel so sad for him. He has worked really hard to be a good student. Plus, he has been involved in student government and other activities at his school. He was an all-in kind of student leading up to the quarantine that has shut down his school until next year.

My son will not have a graduation ceremony, and he is moping a bit. This is only exacerbated by the uncertainty of whether college will start next year as planned. He had considered taking a gap year, but there’s nowhere to go now. Without a clear path for the future, he is becoming depressed. How can I help him? -- Uncertain Future

DEAR UNCERTAIN FUTURE: Plan a Zoom graduation party for your son. Have him help you with the plans. Make an invitation list. Decide on activities that will occur, including him wearing his cap and gown (if he has it already) and giving a speech. Invite loved ones to give him presents. You can encourage financial gifts, which students always appreciate, and let them know how to send it electronically.

As far as the future goes, encourage your son to reach out to his college to find out what the plan is for the fall. If the school hasn’t decided yet, encourage him to stay in touch. He needs to become proactive. This will keep him engaged even though times are tough.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)