DEAR HARRIETTE: A family member called to ask if he could borrow some money because he lost his job and doesn’t have enough money to pay his rent. I know this is happening everywhere, and I feel so sorry for him. I’m concerned, though, that if I lend him money, it will just weigh on both of us when he can’t pay it back. Part of me feels like I should just give him what I can afford to give, even though it’s not his whole rent check. But in that way, he won’t owe me anything and I won’t be upset that I extended myself too far and begin to resent him for it. Am I overthinking this? I love my cousin so much, but I don’t want the added financial or emotional stress of having to deal with a likely disappointment. -- Financial Gift

DEAR FINANCIAL GIFT: You are on the right page. Decide how much you can give your cousin without need for reimbursement. Offer that to him. Tell him that this is the gift you can give to him -- no need to pay you back. If he counters that he really needs more, respond that this is what you have to give. Your clarity should make it easier for him to accept that reality. Don’t apologize for not being able to afford more. State the truth: This is what you can give.

You can also ask him if he knows how to file for unemployment. Find out if there is any other service he may need help accessing. Perhaps you can help him in other ways. But draw the line regarding money.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband constantly complains about everything. In the past few weeks, he has ramped up his complaints. From the time he gets up in the morning, he finds something to pick at. We are all stuck in the house together, and I’m going crazy. I know that times are tough. I’m living in them, too. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. But listening to him moan about every single thing all day long is too much for me. How can I get him to change his attitude? -- Dark Cloud

DEAR DARK CLOUD: Even though we are required to quarantine, I wonder if it might be worth it for you to put on a mask and take a walk every day. Experts have said that if you can maintain physical distancing while you walk wearing a mask, you can go outside. Getting fresh air and time to yourself may help to clear your head and help you to deal with the stresses of home.

Be pleasant to your husband. Choose to cultivate your personal joy, even if he can’t muster it right now. Tell him you love him and that you know times are difficult. Ask him to consider looking at whatever you are discussing in a different way. Point out that it is possible to find happiness even now when things seem so dire. Tell him you need him to be more optimistic for you and the family. Finally, put in some earphones and listen to music when you need to tune him out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am friends with a few social media influencers. They are my real friends, but random people I know will call me to try to get in touch with them. They want a hookup for a public appearance or an album or whatever. I do not feel comfortable connecting people like that, for the most part. When it makes sense, I will introduce people, but I’m tired of always being asked. How can I put my foot down on this? These are my genuine friends. I don’t want them to think that I am “pimping” them off to my contacts. -- Drawing the Line

DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: You should speak to your friends and get a read on what works for them. Often, people in the public eye are interested in having their work promoted. What you should figure out with them is what they would appreciate hearing about from your contacts. Be honest with them. Tell them that sometimes people reach out to you because they know you are friends, and you want to protect their privacy and still make introductions when appropriate.

You should get your friends’ professional representatives’ information. That way, you keep your friends -- “the talent” -- out of it. You can refer your inquiring associates to the agents or managers of your friends. If you like the idea, you can make that clear to the representative. If you are neutral but think it’s worth considering, say that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a colleague who is constantly competing with me for ideas. She and I are on the same level at our job, and over the past year, I have watched her listen to the ideas I pitch in meetings, then rush to plan what I just mentioned. Then she takes credit for it as if it was her idea. She has done this countless times, and for some reason, my boss lets her get away with it. How can I suggest my ideas when there’s somebody at work who is so hungry to steal them? I am so upset by her, but I can’t figure out how to share my ideas without her taking them from me. -- Owning My Ideas

DEAR OWNING MY IDEAS: You may want to wait to pitch ideas until you are clear that you can deliver them swiftly. Be more strategic when you share your inspirations. Consider having one-on-one meetings with your boss where you present your ideas, and find out if you can move forward with your boss’s blessing. Without complaining about your colleague, you should attempt to establish a rapport with your boss that allows you to get your ideas across more privately. If that doesn’t work, be more sparing in the meetings when you speak your ideas out loud.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been giving my kids an allowance since they were little -- not a lot of money, but consistent money. Now that I have lost my job and unemployment has not kicked in yet, I’m worried about how to keep up this simple practice. Obviously it’s more pressing to make sure there is enough food to eat, but I don’t want to walk away from the stability that I created in the family. Should I lower the amount but still give them something that shows my good intentions? My kids are 10 and 12. They know about the coronavirus, but do I tell them about what it means that I have lost my job? I don’t want to scare them, but I do need to manage their expectations. -- What To Say

DEAR WHAT TO SAY: Everybody has to deal with reality. That includes your children. They don’t need all of the details, but they are old enough to learn that you have lost your job and that resources are tight. You can let them know that you do not have income right now, so they don’t have income either. When unemployment begins, you may choose to give them a much-reduced allowance. Explain why it is at a lower amount, and talk to them about how they can be part of the family unit during this time. Encourage them to avoid spending money on unnecessary items. Assign them to household tasks and other duties so that they see how their focused action helps to support the family. If you behave as if you all are in this together, they will gain a clearer view of reality and understand the circumstances better.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am being bombarded with phone calls from all kinds of companies promising to give me a low-interest loan or suggesting I refinance my house or lower my auto insurance. All of these things sound great, given what’s going on in the world right now, but I am nervous about responding to them. I can’t tell which of these calls are real and which are fake. I have heard that there is a lot of fraud going on. How in the world do I figure out what is fraud and what might be a legitimate way for me to save some money? I am not internet savvy or even phone savvy. I use the computer, but I’m a senior citizen. My grands used to help me with all of this stuff, but they can’t visit now, and I don’t know how to use the smartphone. -- Avoiding Fraud

DEAR AVOIDING FRAUD: You do have to be extremely careful now with random callers and emails that offer deals. Fraud causes are up exponentially, according to many reports.

For starters, if you want to reduce the cost of any of your bills, you should initiate the call. Find the phone number on your bill, and call that. Or look for the email address on your bill. That should get you directly to the source. Do not trust a random caller. Never give your date of birth, Social Security number or address to anyone who calls you. Don’t believe a deal that seems too good to be true, because chances are it isn’t real.

To get help, you can reach out to the AARP. Call its fraud helpline at 877-908-3360. Or go to its website at bit.ly/34BJehI.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)