DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been giving my kids an allowance since they were little -- not a lot of money, but consistent money. Now that I have lost my job and unemployment has not kicked in yet, I’m worried about how to keep up this simple practice. Obviously it’s more pressing to make sure there is enough food to eat, but I don’t want to walk away from the stability that I created in the family. Should I lower the amount but still give them something that shows my good intentions? My kids are 10 and 12. They know about the coronavirus, but do I tell them about what it means that I have lost my job? I don’t want to scare them, but I do need to manage their expectations. -- What To Say

DEAR WHAT TO SAY: Everybody has to deal with reality. That includes your children. They don’t need all of the details, but they are old enough to learn that you have lost your job and that resources are tight. You can let them know that you do not have income right now, so they don’t have income either. When unemployment begins, you may choose to give them a much-reduced allowance. Explain why it is at a lower amount, and talk to them about how they can be part of the family unit during this time. Encourage them to avoid spending money on unnecessary items. Assign them to household tasks and other duties so that they see how their focused action helps to support the family. If you behave as if you all are in this together, they will gain a clearer view of reality and understand the circumstances better.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am being bombarded with phone calls from all kinds of companies promising to give me a low-interest loan or suggesting I refinance my house or lower my auto insurance. All of these things sound great, given what’s going on in the world right now, but I am nervous about responding to them. I can’t tell which of these calls are real and which are fake. I have heard that there is a lot of fraud going on. How in the world do I figure out what is fraud and what might be a legitimate way for me to save some money? I am not internet savvy or even phone savvy. I use the computer, but I’m a senior citizen. My grands used to help me with all of this stuff, but they can’t visit now, and I don’t know how to use the smartphone. -- Avoiding Fraud

DEAR AVOIDING FRAUD: You do have to be extremely careful now with random callers and emails that offer deals. Fraud causes are up exponentially, according to many reports.

For starters, if you want to reduce the cost of any of your bills, you should initiate the call. Find the phone number on your bill, and call that. Or look for the email address on your bill. That should get you directly to the source. Do not trust a random caller. Never give your date of birth, Social Security number or address to anyone who calls you. Don’t believe a deal that seems too good to be true, because chances are it isn’t real.

To get help, you can reach out to the AARP. Call its fraud helpline at 877-908-3360. Or go to its website at bit.ly/34BJehI.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter keeps asking to go out and hang with her friends. I have been strict, requiring her to stay at home with me each day during our stay-at-home order. I have followed the guidelines to the letter. But one of her best friends goes out with another friend almost every day. They visit each other’s homes. They take walks. And they end up having a lot of fun. We do not live near them, and I don’t think that’s a good idea anyway, but my daughter is furious that I am so strict. What do you think about my rules? -- Limitations

DEAR LIMITATIONS: Your strictness may just be what will save your daughter’s life -- and your own. You may want to acknowledge that you know you are being particularly strict about her movements, but remind her why. Point out the reality that this virus is spread by human interaction and contact, though it is invisible and, therefore, impossible to know if you are encountering it. Apologize to your daughter for keeping her from what might surely be fun times with her friends. Remind her that you are looking at the big picture. You want her to have years of fun, and you are willing to make the sacrifice of a few weeks or months of quarantine if it will gain you many healthy years to come. Encourage your daughter to use social media and other forms of interaction to stay in touch with her friends.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed that petty crimes are increasing in my neighborhood in New York City. I have the Citizen app, which reports incidents in your neighborhood. For the past few weeks, there have been lots of muggings, robberies and people held at knifepoint. I’m not exaggerating. I feel nervous to go outside, especially to go to the bank. In my friend’s building, they established a neighborhood watch kind of thing, where you can ask someone to walk with you to the bank to minimize your risk of being robbed. The people in my building are not that friendly, but I’m wondering if it might be worth it to try to organize something like that. Do you have any suggestions? -- Neighborhood Watch

DEAR NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH: It is a good idea to create some kind of coalition in your building or among friends who live nearby. To get the group going, post a sign in your building and schedule a Zoom or Skype call to discuss the idea. Create an email group with friends where you consider the logistics. Take action and see how it develops.

If you organize with your building, make sure you confirm that the people who sign up are legitimate tenants. You may want to create time periods when people are available to go outside, or it could be a more fluid system where folks reach out when they need to make a run.

Walking in pairs -- with proper physical distancing -- is a smart way to protect yourself and complete your chores. Do your best to keep your money and telephone out of view. Do not carry large, cumbersome bags. Keep your eyes open.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I go outside once a week to buy food and go to the pharmacy (when necessary). I don’t spend much time outside, and I’m happy to report that there aren’t a lot of people outside. What I am noticing, though, is an increase in the number of people who are begging. Many of the people look no different from me or my friends. The other ones are out there, too -- more seasoned beggars who ask for change or a dollar. I am conflicted about what I should give to these people. I know that life is getting tougher for many people, but it’s true for me, too. How can I share with some of these people and stay true to my belief that they should figure out how to take care of themselves? -- When to Give

DEAR WHEN TO GIVE: I want to advise you to soften your eyes and your attitude. Whether or not you give people money, it is important for you to gain a better understanding of what you are seeing. Through no fault of their own, millions of people are out of work. Statistics show that most Americans have only a few weeks’ worth of savings, which means that many of the more than 12 million people who recently lost their jobs are penniless already. They need food and medicines, just like you. I can only imagine that it is horrifying for many of them to find themselves outside asking for the kindness of strangers at a time when it’s scary to be outside at all.

Please look upon them with compassion. That includes the ones who have been hustling for a longer period of time. They deserve our positive energy and sense of humanity.

Who you share your resources with and how much is up to you. Consider walking with a bit of food you can give away or loose change that you can offer when you feel inspired. But also, a kind smile and acknowledgment that you are encountering another human being counts for a lot -- even if you can’t give anything more.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I talked to a good friend who told me that almost a dozen people in his life have died in the past couple of weeks due to COVID-19. He had been trying to stay positive and follow directions, but he was really down when we talked that day. I offered to pray with him, which we did. I then told him that as bad as it is, he has to be grateful that he is alive. He got mad at me for saying that. I didn’t know what to say, honestly. Nothing like this has ever happened before. But I do know that if you get depressed, it will be harder to get through this sadness. What else can I say to him? -- Grieving Friend

DEAR GRIEVING FRIEND: Forgive your friend for not being able to receive your message at this dark moment in his life. Continue to pray for him. And reach out to him soon and often. Check in to learn how he is feeling and what he is doing. Share something positive that you have read or seen. Encourage him to do something uplifting. Stay in touch and be a good listener, even when he is insensitive.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)