DEAR HARRIETTE: Two of my friends have been at a standoff for years, and I’m sick of it. I told each of them that I think it’s time to resolve their disagreement. Whatever they do, I don’t want to have to listen to them talking about each other’s faults anymore. It’s like they are stuck in the past, back when they hurt each other’s feelings, and they can’t let go of that. I know that it can be hard to forgive when bad things happen, but I would hate to see them go to their graves without getting over this. They were very close friends for more than 40 years. A big hiccup in their friendship has led to years now of tight lips. What can I do to help? -- Forgiveness

DEAR HARRIETTE: Have an old-fashioned “talking-to” with each of your friends. Tell them how much you love them and remind them that they used to love each other. Point out your concern that they could leave the planet without making up and how sad that would be. Suggest that they get over their disagreement and decide to forgive each other and move on. Beyond that, tell them that you are unwilling to be in the middle of their feud anymore.

Part of forgiveness starts with the person. They should try to forgive themselves first for whatever bad things they have done in their lives, for any hurt they may have caused others, for any unkind words they have expressed, for any inappropriate actions they may have taken without considering others' welfare. Doing this may soften them, allowing them to forgive each other for whatever transpired between them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been cleaning out my apartment, and I have come across so many books that my family and I no longer need. I don’t want to throw them out, though. Some of them are really good children’s books. Others are history books and art books that somebody might find interesting. We just don’t need them anymore. Since libraries aren’t open, I don’t know what to do with them. I don’t want to keep looking at them in a pile by my door. I live in an apartment building with a bunch of tenants, but I’m not really friends with anyone. Any ideas? -- Book Club

DEAR BOOK CLUB: Books sometimes find their own friends. Why not make a sign that indicates that the books are free for anyone who might want them, and put them in a common area in your building? Wipe them down to ensure that they are not dusty or dirty, and put them in a box or set them up so that the titles are easily visible. If you place them where people can see them -- near the front entrance or by the elevator -- you increase the chances that they will be seen and collected.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have watched just about every show on TV, it seems. Even though there are lots of options now, what with cable and those other streaming services -- and we have them all, it feels like -- I can’t find anything I want to watch. We are bored out of our minds. We live in a high-rise apartment building, and we have no backyard. We have nowhere to go during this quarantine. What can we do that will bring us joy? -- Boredom

DEAR BOREDOM: My father used to call the television “the idiot box.” Though he enjoyed watching it, he believed that it sucked away our energy and time with few positive results. His recommendation would be to read a book. Have you considered that? If you have books in the house, choose something to read. Make it a shared activity. You can both read at the same time, and talk about what you read with each other.

If you don’t have books, go online. You can buy an audiobook to listen to together. Books can transport you into faraway worlds and spark interesting conversations that can bring you closer as they also stimulate your brain. Try it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I have a distant relationship -- to put it nicely. When we were kids, she always picked on me. Even after we became adults, she would take her jabs at every possible turn. It got so bad that I stopped calling her. She and I don’t live in the same town, so it is only by choice that we talk to each other now. I got tired of her always berating me, so I talk to her only at family get-togethers or on her birthday. That’s pretty much it. I’m wondering if I should try to mend that fence now that we have no idea when we will see each other again. I am married with children. She is single and alone. I imagine that she is feeling lonely. How can I mend the fence when so much time has gone by? -- Crossing the Divide

DEAR CROSSING THE DIVIDE: The first step is often the hardest. When a lot of time has gone by, it can seem impossible to get close to someone, even a family member. But that first step is often the hardest, and once you take it, the next will seem easier.

Set an intention for your connection with your sister. Remember that you are adults now, and you do not have to slip into old behaviors. There is absolutely no reason why she should have any dominion over you. Speak to her the way you speak to anyone else, with your own confidence and personality. Do not feel the need to dredge up old feelings. Instead, just be in the moment. Call her and ask her how she’s managing. Ask her how she is spending her days. Get her talking. You should also share with her some highlights of your time in quarantine. If you miss her, say as much. Be honest and kind about wanting to have a closer relationship with her. Suggest that you speak more regularly. See if she likes that idea. Take baby steps. And if either of you slips back into old behaviors, take a breath and remind yourself that you are no longer children. You have the power to choose how you will react to whatever is happening before you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have contributed to a number of charities over the years. I feel good about that, because I want to support causes that I believe in. But I am uncertain as to what I can give right now that I have been laid off from my job. I am single, and I live on my own. I have no idea when I will get another job. I feel horrible that I cannot be generous right now, but I worry that if I continue to pledge to the 10 charities that I normally give money to that I won’t have enough for myself. What should I do? -- Dry Well

DEAR DRY WELL: Your generosity over the years counts for a lot. Whenever you have been able to give, you have done so. During this period, many people are finding it challenging to extend their generosity to charity when they find themselves lacking in their own lives. Striking a balance is what may give you comfort. Rather than eliminating all of your charities, consider choosing one that you continue to support, for now, as you re-establish personal stability. You may want to lower the amount you give, but if you give something, this may ease the emotional burden that you are feeling.

You might also look at the charities’ websites to learn what their essential needs are during this time. As you build more resources, give to specific efforts. Also, look to see if you can give something other than financial resources. Can you volunteer your time to help a charity? Can you donate some of your possessions for their benefit? Get creative.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been married for a long time, and my husband and I have come to terms with where we stand on lots of things. Now that we are dealing with a health crisis, it’s different. I am overly cautious, and he is nonchalant. He says we are all going to die, so why worry about it? He goes out when he wants and pretty much does what he wants, though it’s not usually that much or too far. We live in a suburban neighborhood.

Still, I’m nervous. I see the news. Everything says that we are in danger if we leave our homes. How can I get my husband to stay home? Both of us have high blood pressure and a few other things that are on the health risk list. I need him to take this seriously. -- Stay Home

DEAR STAY HOME: With your husband, review the guidelines for going outside, including covering his face and washing his hands thoroughly upon return. Remind him how much you love him and want him -- and yourself -- to stay healthy. Point out that your health challenges make you more vulnerable to the ravages of the disease.

If he balks at your entreaties, tell him that he will have to sleep on the sofa, because you want to live.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)