DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in New York City in a big apartment complex. Even though I try to stay in my home as much as I can, I do have to go outside to get groceries and sometimes just to get a little fresh air. The problem I’m having -- which is not new -- is that one of my neighbors seems to wait for me to go outside so that he can stalk me. He always seems to be around when I go outside, trying to help me or talk to me. I don’t want him near me -- especially now -- but he doesn’t get the hint. I have been backing off from him for years. What can I say now to get him to stay at a safe distance? -- Back Off

DEAR BACK OFF: Now is not the time for subtlety. You have to be strong, clear and direct with this neighbor. Remind him of the rules of interaction as a result of the new coronavirus. You are supposed to stay a minimum of 6 feet away from anyone you encounter at all times. That includes him. It should even include loved ones, by the way.

If you see him approaching you, put your hands out in the gesture of NO, and state loudly that he should not come any further. Ask him to honor the rules of social distancing. Keep moving. Do not talk to him. If you move with haste, he may get the message.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Since we have to stay at home, my husband and I have been purging big-time. We are doing the ultimate spring cleaning. A lot of the stuff we are discarding can just go in the trash, but other things might be of value to others. I just don’t know what to do with it. In the past, I would contact the Salvation Army, Goodwill or a local consignment store. What should I do now when most businesses are closed? -- Giveaways

DEAR GIVEAWAYS: My research suggests that you have to check in your hometown to see which of these charitable organizations are accepting donations. Apparently, in some cities, people have been dropping off their belongings in the wrong places, thereby creating dumping grounds that will be of no use to people who need the items. Call any of the organizations to ensure that you can give them your items and how to coordinate. Include local houses of worship. In some instances, there are drop-off times and locations posted. You really do need to check before delivering anything.

You also need to verify with your trash service to ensure that if you decide just to throw the items away that you aren’t overly stretching the capacity there either. A solution if you are only allowed a certain amount of trash each day is to spread out your purge so that you don’t overload your trash removal, but you still have the opportunity to throw out quite a few things.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am at home with my kids, like everybody is supposed to be. One of the challenges we are having is with the computer. My kids have been doing distance learning, which means that they have to go online to join Zoom classes or other “face-to-face” classes with their teachers, but we have only one computer. That means that sometimes one kid can go to class while the other can’t. Plus, I have to do my work from home. I am missing some deadlines because I’m competing with my kids for use of the computer. This is an impossible situation. I need my kids to learn, and I need to work to be able to keep a roof over our heads. What do you recommend? -- One Computer

DEAR ONE COMPUTER: School systems across the country are navigating this new educational front the best they can, but it does have glitches. Many families don’t even have one computer in the home or the Wi-Fi necessary to access online classrooms. Some school systems have been providing computers for students, but as you point out, that has not typically meant a computer per child if there is more than one child in a household.

Get in touch with your children’s school(s) and share your challenges. I am sure you are not alone. The more data the schools gather about computer usage and needs, the more able they will be to make adjustments that work for the student body and families.

Similarly, you should speak to your supervisor and explain what you are facing with computer use -- and likely internet capacity. Talk about your situation and ask for some flexibility. As long as you are communicating openly, you have a chance of getting everyone to work with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an event planner. As you might imagine, I have lost all of my contracts because nobody is allowed to have gatherings right now. Since it is unclear when events will be allowed again, I have to figure out what to do to earn a living. I am so worried, it is hard for me to think. I know that people are still going to get married, so eventually weddings will come back. Maybe the corporate events, too. But right now I need to think of something else. Do you have any ideas? -- Pivot Plan

DEAR PIVOT PLAN: In extreme times, we need our creativity more than anything. Think about your clients. Beyond the weddings -- which do need to be delayed -- do any of your corporate clients have the need to create virtual engagements? That seems to be the wave of the future. Spend some time envisioning your clients’ needs and how they might be fulfilled by designing events that can occur by using technology to connect others. Develop a proposal that illustrates how you can bring these events to life for them. The more focused and organized you are in your visionary presentation, the more poised you are to keep your clients.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was in the middle of dealing with a significant tax problem when the coronavirus pandemic hit. I see that we are getting an extension to file, but I’m worried that any day now I could get a lien in the mail because I owe the IRS a lot of money and have not filed yet. I was already feeling paralyzed by this. Now it’s worse since I can’t really work with my accountant right now. This is my fault, but I don’t know how to get out of it. -- IRS Blues

DEAR IRS BLUES: The good news is that the federal government announced that they are suspending tax liens -- for now. It is unclear how long this extension of grace will last, though. You should get in touch with your accountant and make a plan for finishing your taxes. Find out if your accountant can facilitate a conversation with the IRS to talk about your situation. If possible, you should have the professional on the phone with you, but if you can’t figure that out, make the call yourself. Making a focused effort to handle your situation will show you doing your due diligence even during this crisis. For the latest information on taxes, go to Taxpayer Advocate Service at taxpayeradvocate.irs.gov/taxupdates.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in a weird position. While most of my friends have lost their jobs, I have seen an uptick in how much work I have to do. My job is secure. My company provides services that are important now, and I am incredibly grateful for this. The problem I am experiencing is that since most of my friends are at home and not working, they want to talk throughout the day and complain about how awful their lives are. I totally get how devastating it is to lose your job, but I do not want to subscribe to the pity party. I don't want to come off as an insensitive friend, but I have no space for endless droning about who did them wrong and how horrible and unfair this is. How can I be there for my friends and maintain my sanity? -- Pariah

DEAR PARIAH: Lead with compassion and clarity. Let your friends know how much you love them and want to support them. Tell them your reality, namely that your company is working now, and your schedule is overflowing. Explain that you cannot talk to them during the day, but you will check in when you can in the evenings and on weekends -- as was likely your routine pre-coronavirus.

Because you already know that your friends are feeling down right now, use technology to send positive messages. Send them group texts featuring fun gifs or emojis. Forward an uplifting quote or funny message that will make them smile. Choose to be positive whenever you communicate with them. Remind them that you love them and want the best for them. If, when you speak, they cannot rise out of their negativity, limit your conversation time. Share your love and words of support, and get off the phone.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)