DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle passed away recently -- of old age, thank God. But he lived in my hometown, which is hundreds of miles away. I am unable to travel now, like most people these days. I want my aunt to consider postponing his funeral and making a memorial instead that could happen after we are allowed to travel freely again. She does not like that idea. She wants to host an open-casket funeral, the way that her whole family has done it for generations. Her daughters told me that she just wants closure. She is old and not of the mindset to postpone her grief. Am I being selfish to want her to delay the service? -- End of Life
DEAR END OF LIFE: First, my condolences for your loss. What a blessing it was to have your uncle for so long. Clearly, you loved him and want to be there to send him off. Yet, you have to take his widow’s wishes to heart. Many people in mourning experience a level of closure when they have a funeral service for their loved ones. If your aunt wants to host a funeral, do not stand in her way. You can ask her if she would allow the service to be live-streamed so that you can see it. You can ask a younger family member who is comfortable with technology to use a streaming service, like Facebook or Instagram, to record the service so that you can be included.