DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating this guy for about a year, and I recently learned that I am pregnant. I am so scared. We are in a good relationship, but nothing close to permanent. We used protection, but clearly that didn’t work. I don’t believe in abortion, but I also don’t have a job. I’m in school. My parents will kill me if I have to drop out. I know that adoption could be an option, but I hear horror stories about how kids can feel lost when they are given up for adoption. I haven’t told my boyfriend or my parents. I don’t know what to do. -- Next Steps

DEAR NEXT STEPS: You cannot keep this to yourself. Since you intend to give birth to the baby, you will need to have proper health care and nutrition to ensure that you will deliver a healthy baby. If you are on your parents’ insurance, that will be extremely helpful. You will need to find a doctor who can support you through your pregnancy.

Learn more about adoption. You can read about it and research agencies in your area that you can interview to see if there is a good fit for you. Many reputable agencies are successful in placing children in loving homes where they get opportunities that birth mothers may not be able to provide. One avenue to research: bit.ly/2WKBsjw.

Talk to your parents and explain what is happening. Ask for their wisdom on the subject. They may think adoption is a viable option. Or they may offer to support you in rearing your child while you are completing school.

You must also speak to the baby’s father. He has a right to know that you are pregnant and to state his position on the future of the child.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a person who goes to church twice a week, sometimes three times -- for worship and for service. I’m in the choir, and I help out with the soup kitchen. Everything is closed right now because of the quarantine in my city. I am at a loss for how to stay connected to the people in my church community. Plus, I’m concerned about the people we normally serve. Not giving them food could mean they won’t get any. I want to help, but I’m not sure what I can do. -- Want To Help

DEAR WANT TO HELP: Reach out to your pastor to learn if the church will be starting online streaming of the service. That is a popular option across the nation. In this way, at least you can view your service from the safety of your home. Find out if your church is going to continue your food kitchen and if there are opportunities to help. In some instances, organizations are streamlining their outreach but not shutting it down. Perhaps you can be part of a smaller team of people who prepare and offer food to your community.

Finally, there are many organizations that provide virtual volunteer opportunities for people. It is possible to help others from the safety of your home. For a curated list of businesses to consider, go to gma.abc/2QLN2ah.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents used to talk about hiding money in their mattress. It was very old-school thinking, but now I understand the value of their thoughts. I am closer to retirement today than I was before the markets started crashing. My 401(k) has tanked in recent weeks. What I thought was a decent retirement is worth pennies now. I wish I had stashed some money in my house. Now I’m not sure what to do. What is your advice? -- Dwindling Retirement

DEAR DWINDLING RETIREMENT: Talk to a financial professional. Lay your finances out as transparently as you can. Explain your plan for retirement, including when and how. Look at your resources to see what you believe you will have to support yourself when you get there. It is true that the stock market’s recent falls have negatively impacted most 401(k) plans. Unless you are retiring very soon, it is unlikely that you will be encouraged to take money out of the stock market. In most cases throughout history, the stock market has improved after dropping, but that happens with time. The best thing you can do is to work with an investing professional who can help guide you through this tumultuous time to make smart choices for your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Like many people, I am working from home now and for the foreseeable future. I’m having trouble keeping my routine in order. I have been late a couple of times for Zoom meetings, and I’ve been caught off-guard with video meetings because I wasn’t dressed appropriately. I have just been rolling out of bed and doing my work. Do you think I should get up, shower and get dressed the way I used to when I was leaving the house to go to the office? I thought that was overkill, but now I’m not so sure. -- Playing the Part

DEAR PLAYING THE PART: I am a big believer in “acting as if.” In this case, that means getting up in the morning, taking a shower, getting dressed for work and starting your day on time. In this way, you are ready for whatever comes at you. Keep your calendar in the same way as you did before. Your commute time may be much shorter, but the principle remains the same: To be early is to be on time.

During this period of self-isolation, you should be ready to be seen on video conference. By dressing as you would if you were in the office, you can easily join a video call. Being dressed, even when you aren’t seen, may support your overall focus on being professional and fully present on the job, even when you are working from home.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in New York City, and the disparity between the haves and have-nots is so real, it’s scary. We are an average family, but we see now that being middle class almost equals being poor these days. Many of my neighbors packed up and shipped out as soon as news of the pandemic hit our city, which has more cases than anywhere else. It was like a Friday evening in the summer, when everybody goes to the Hamptons or to wherever their country homes are. We don’t have a country home.

A lot of my kids’ friends have left. As they are talking over Snapchat, my kids now realize that most of their friends who once seemed equal to them are actually way better off in their fancy second homes.

How do I keep my kids calm and deal with everything that’s going on when part of it is hard to discuss, including why the disparities are so different from family to family? Suddenly I feel poor and disadvantaged. -- Haves and Have-Nots

DEAR HAVES AND HAVE-NOTS: Continue the conversation that I hope you have been having already, namely that people’s means vary widely, but their value as individuals is not reflected by their bank accounts. Without being envious, it is OK to say that it’s great for those who can afford it to own second homes. There’s nothing wrong with that, nor is it “less than” to have only one home.

Explain to your kids that your family lives based on its means, which may be different from some of their friends. Ask your children to tell you what they feel is important in life. Encourage them to talk about what they care about, what they value and what they are willing to fight for. Point out that these core points are more important than how much money they have.

Also be sure to encourage them to learn to admire what others have without feeling jealous. We are all different.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend told me that she is going to try to get pregnant during this time that we are all sequestered at home. She got married last year, and she and her husband had planned to wait until they got their finances in order. Then she said, “What the heck? We are home all day. Why not make a baby?”

She asked my opinion, but I’m afraid to tell her how bad an idea I think that is. Who knows if either of them will be employed in the coming months? Should I tell her my thoughts or just stay quiet? -- Solicited Advice

DEAR SOLICITED ADVICE: Since your friend specifically asked you what you think about her idea to get pregnant now, you have permission to tell her the truth. You are right to want her to pause before making such a pivotal, life-altering decision. Having children is a huge responsibility that comes with financial requirements. In the best of worlds, your friend will be in the most secure position possible before deciding to get pregnant. No need to pass judgment, but do share your feelings -- only because she asked. Whatever her decision, be sure to support her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)