DEAR HARRIETTE: I just went to the doctor and had to speak to an administrator. When our meeting was over, she reached out to give me a fist bump. I was so surprised, I wasn’t sure what to do. At least she wasn’t offering me her hand to shake -- but seriously? She works at a health institution, and we have been told that we need to practice “social distancing,” including not touching one another. A fist bump is still two hands touching. I quickly offered her my sweater-covered wrist to bump her hand, but I thought it was ridiculous. What should we do in social or business situations now when people try to shake hands or otherwise touch you without thinking? -- Social Distancing, Please

DEAR SOCIAL DISTANCING, PLEASE: People are so accustomed to touching one another that it is taking time for us to come to terms with our new reality.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, it is a life-or-death decision to stop touching. The CDC says that the virus can live on your skin for a long period of time, so it is simply not worth it to touch anyone’s skin for the foreseeable future. That medical administrator made a mistake. She should have just said goodbye.

In the future when you are in the company of other people, smile at them, say what you are feeling and what you are about to do, offer an elbow if anything at all -- but do not touch. I like the Asian practice of bringing your hands together and bowing in front of the person before you as a greeting. Honestly, you just need to avoid touching. If someone aggressively reaches out, step back and speak up to stop the encounter.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is having a baby. I am old-school, so I don’t love the fact that she is having a baby without being married, but she is an adult, and she has made her choice. I am coming to understand, in my old age, that not everyone shares my values. I am certain that she will be a good mother. She is a lovely young woman. She has invited me to her baby shower. I have been close to her since she was a child. I am thinking of attending. My only worry is that I still have some funny feelings about her not being married. I don’t want to say anything wrong. Can you suggest ways that I can be sure to be a good guest? -- No Judgment

DEAR NO JUDGMENT: Your worries may be for naught as it relates to going to the shower. Right now, only very small gatherings are being encouraged, so this event may be canceled. Check in with her to see.

Whether you see her in person or talk to her on the phone, focus on the positive. Congratulate her on the pregnancy. Ask her how she feels. Listen to her about how she’s managing. Pregnancy can be daunting for women the first time around. There is so much to consider. Since you have known her for all of her life, reserve your comments to words of encouragement. Keep your opinions to yourself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed more and more homeless people on the streets. And I feel like they are getting more aggressive in asking for -- demanding, really -- money. I went in to get something from a convenience store, and a woman waiting outside asked me for money. When I did not give her anything but continued along my way, she began to yell at me and follow me a few steps down the street. I am not numb to the realities of homelessness in our country, but I also do not feel like it is my duty to give money to every person who demands it. How can I handle this without being rude or disrespectful? -- Dealing With the Homeless

DEAR DEALING WITH THE HOMELESS: Sadly, the homelessness crisis in our country is growing dramatically. Depending on where you live, chances are, you will see many homeless people in your neighborhood who are trying desperately to get by. That does not mean that you are obligated to give each person money. Right now, as our economy is in freefall due to the COVID-19 scare, many people are in peril of losing their jobs and potentially ending up homeless themselves.

With that backdrop, you still have the reality of walking on the street and being pressed for cash. My recommendation is to remember that the people asking are human and desperate. Even when you cannot or choose not to give them money, say hello. Look them in the eye and tell them to be safe or have a good day. Say something that humanizes the moment, including, “Sorry, I don’t have anything to give you.”

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started seeing a guy who is really smart, nice and beautiful to look at. I am surprised that he is into me. I am smart, but I’m not what you would call “cute.” I’m an average woman whom handsome guys don’t usually notice.

My boyfriend and I met at the coffee shop I visit sometimes after class, and we struck up a conversation. We enjoy talking to each other, and it has grown from there. Part of me is afraid that if we take this to the next level and start going out with his friends, he won’t like me as much. This is new territory for me. I’m not normally so insecure, but I think I am out of my league. How can I boost my confidence? -- Real Beauty

DEAR REAL BEAUTY: My mother used to say, “Beauty is as beauty does.” She emphasized that physical beauty is transient, while inner beauty -- the way that you behave, how you treat other people, what makes you you -- is what really counts. It sounds like your guy sees you for who you are. Who knows what his dating experiences were before meeting you? You two have chosen each other; find confidence in that. The more you believe that you deserve to be happy right where you are, the easier it will be for you to stand by his side as an equal in whatever company you find yourself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an African American woman working in a largely white corporate institution. There are only two black women in my division of about 50 employees. She and I look nothing alike. Specifically, I am tall, with dark skin and short hair; she is at least 6 inches shorter than me, with light skin and long hair. And yet, regularly, co-workers mistake us for each other. It is blatantly racist to me. They don’t make that mistake with one another, even when they may be referring to two blonds of similar height and stature. I don’t get it, and it’s so annoying. What can I do to be seen in my company? -- Invisible

DEAR INVISIBLE: Your job is to educate your co-workers -- to the best of your ability -- without a chip on your shoulder. It doesn’t make sense that people who work directly with you would not be able to discern who is who, especially if there are only two black women on the team.

Before you present to your group, start by introducing yourself. Literally say, “I am (fill in your name).” Follow that with your presentation. If you do that every time you speak, chances are, someone will ask you why you are introducing yourself to a group of people who know you. That’s when you can point out that they often call you by your colleague’s name. In the interest of clarity, you want to be certain that they know who they are talking to. If they scoff or say that’s ridiculous, that’s your chance to agree and point out that it should be obvious that you are two different people, but given how often your identities are mistaken, you felt it necessary to reintroduce yourself each time you speak.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of the things that seems to be recommended during this health scare with the coronavirus is to use hand sanitizers. My husband has long believed that these products are ineffective, and he is opposed to us using them. We have two children. I don’t want to go against my husband, but I do want to protect my children. What do you recommend? -- Keeping Clean

DEAR KEEPING CLEAN: The formal recommendation is for everyone is to wash their hands regularly and thoroughly with soap and water. Actual soap is the best way to keep your hands clean. Hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol content is recommended for times when you cannot wash your hands with soap. The high concentration of alcohol is important. That is something to share with your husband and to be sure to provide for your children as backup.

To honor your husband’s belief, which is wise, is to be vigilant as a family about handwashing. Teach your children so that they can see what it looks like. Remind them not to touch their faces with their hands or touch others as they go about their day. This is not easy to do, but it's important during this tense period.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)